Dear Baby

First off, Im sorry that you dont have a name yet. Its not right, I know. In some ways and at some times it makes me feel like Im failing you before you're even here. Like a huge part of you, that I am suppose to be in charge of, is being neglected. But I like to think of it differently. I like to think that you are so special. That the circumstances and figures of how you actually fought your way into being here at this time are so extraordinary. That means you need an extraordinary name. And I just need as much time as I can to be sure that I get it exactly right.

Secondly, we have really been through it. I started spotting with you at about week 5. It was so scary. But I think Heavenly Father knew that I needed those scares to help me to see that you were a blessing from Him. And that I wanted so badly for you to be healthy and present in my growing tummy. That spotting was monitored closely for weeks, 20. Finally it ended for good. We have been in and out of the ER, Hospital and Lab's several times. I have been poked and stuck by needles probably 20 times. Throwing up so much has been hard on me but I know that its hard on you too. Yes, we have really been through it together.

But the finish line is in sight. The prize is you and I know that all of those hard pregnancy moments will all too soon vanish as I hold your tiny head in the crick of my neck. I dream now of you. I love it. I am holding your tightly swaddled body against my chest. You have on nothing but a tiny diaper and a hospital band. I stare at you without blinking an eye. Marveling at how this all came to be. So yes, its here. I am excited. Officially excited. And I can not wait to kiss your soft cheeks, im sure they'll follow true Wirthlin suite and be round and plump. I cant wait to stare in awe at your tiny, wrinkled feet and to stretch out your long, skinny fingers as I wrap them around my own.

See you in 5 weeks baby. We can do it!!!

Love,

Your Mommy

Olivia is 21 months

My baby is almost 2!? When these sorts of realizations hit it makes me relieved that I get to enjoy these fun stages again. I love these kids and they are growing up all too fast. Im not ready to never have another 1 year old... good thing because in 6 weeks this little girl with no name yet will be here.



Olivia is a pure and absolute joy. She's now loving Nursery and will cheer during the week as she raises her arms and shouts "Nursery!!!" She loves Sister Lundell and the other leaders. And she loves all of the baby dolls. As soon as I say the word "Nursery" she says "babies"



Olivia is a major lover. She walks up to her Siblings (and Dave and I) each day, numerous times, and asks for kisses and hugs.She will not go to bed without running up and getting a hug from them. She pats our heads. She holds our hands. She loves to love us all.

Her World revolves around Luke and Ella. They are her favorite things in the World. She wants to be where they are and do what they do. She thinks she is the same age as they are and hates to be reminded that she's simply not!

We love you Olivia.

We love Daddy

Happy Fathers Day!!!

In all of my imaginations I ever had about what my future Husband would be like I never dreamt that he could be the kind of Father that Dave is. Totally unselfish, devoted, patient, loving, silly, committed, involved and totally invested. He gets up with babies without a single nudge from me. He changes diapers before I even know it needs to be done. He puts kids to bed each night because, evidently, he can do things that I can not. And his love is evident in how the kids look at him. They adore him. Its out of control, how enamored they are with him. And its about to happen again with baby #4... another one will soon be smitten. Another one will want Daddy to make the grilled cheese because he does it best. Another one will want to snuggle with Daddy while watching a show.

As lucky as I am to have Dave as a Husband I feel that my kids are even luckier. They have a great gift. They were blessed with the best Dad in the World. And that will be a driving force for good for their entire lives. That fact will make them better people and help them to reach their full potential.

Happy Fathers Day Dave. Thank you for all that you do for our little crew. We love you so much!!!

"Dads the best Dad because he is the funnest and funniest Dad in the World!"-Luke

"Dad's the best Dad because he gives me stuff sometimes. And because he's beautiful!"- Ella

man, oh man.

Dont let this girls inviting eyes deceive you. She is trouble. If left alone in her room too long she will find a pen and draw all over a brand new Pottery Barn bunk bed, matching night stand and eventually even work her way to the duvet cover. Don't have a clue what possessed her. She is about as smart as a whip and knew exactly what she was doing.

I swear I give her plenty of attention. Don't I? I try to. I fear she may drive me clinically insane.

but she is beautiful.

and I do love her.

It begins

The past 2 nights were the first, of Im sure weeks, of interrupted sleep. Bathroom breaks, turning, re-adjusting, waiting for little Miss to settle in, want of water, and then the big, terrible headache that just about left me in tears.

Im going in for round 3. Wish me luck.....

Temple flower planting

Ella and Sister Findlay on Ella's first flower. I was not the greatest at bending down to plant so several friends were good enough to help Ella for me. Dirt and pretty flowers... Ella was in heaven!

Luke, Lance and Kyle (Lancer's Dad)

Our Primary had the greatest activity last month. We got to go to the Temple and plant flowers in the very front of either side of the entrance's. It was wonderful!!! We had over 100 Ward members there and everyone was hard at work.

Luke and Ella were so into planting, they all went strong the entire time, loving every minute. And Dave was a great sport as he chased Olivia all over the Temple grounds.

We are excited to go back soon and visit our flowers.

7 more weeks!?

Yes, in 3 days I will have only 7 more weeks of being pregnant.

its hard to imagine that this baby is actually coming. That pretty soon I am going to have to start getting out newborn clothes to wash, buying baby soaps and lotions, getting an infant seat situated in our Honda Odyssey and sanitizing bottles and pacifiers. My heart is literally beating faster as I type this.

I feel so unprepared. It took almost 20 weeks to come to terms with the fact that this was actually happening and Im still wondering how we'll do it. When Im out at Target with my 3 little one's and Olivia wants to get out of the cart and run, or Ella is upset about not getting a certain cereal.... I imagine in my head the logistics of another baby. And I get scared. Really, truly scared.

Can I really do this? Am I prepared to handle 4 kids under 6 1/2? What will life's new day to day's be like? I get so nervous. I'd love to say that I have overcome my fears of this transition. I could lie and say that I cant wait for the chose that a Family of 6 will bring. That sounds harsh, I know. But the truth is I am terrified. I literally pray that I can be the Mom that everyone is going to need for me to be. That I can kiss every boo-boo, dress up every plate of food and wash every crease of skin. I pray that this baby, and my 3 others, will be able to be patient with me as I learn and that they will all know that I am trying my best. Because that I know. I will give it my all. These kids are too amazing and have far too much potential for me to let down. I know that I can and will love them all with every thing that I have in me. And maybe that's all I know. But no body can love these kids like I can. And I am truly excited to see what this little girl will add to our lives for Eternity. Because she's already such a big part of our crazy crew and we all love her so much already. That I can say. I love her. I totally, 100% love her, I can feel that love with every ounce of my being and that is what empowers me and excites me. And I hope that the Lord can and will increase my capacity to do all that I will need to for all of these beautiful babies of mine.


notice the wet hair? I need more energy because fancying is at the bottom of my list.

Soccer

This was Luke's first season of Soccer. Okay... he had a 6 week spurt of it on a rec league in Parker last year. It was a joke. The Coach's were 2 volunteer Mom's who had no clue what they were doing. There were no instructions. No games. No structure. It was a total turn-off.

I really wanted Luke to have a good experience with sports, especially because they were a huge part of both mine and Dave's lives for years. We heard about this great league and decided to give it a try. It was fantastic, Im so glad we involved Luke in such a positive experience.

Luke came a long way with his understanding of the game and its rules. He got so much more aggressive in practice and his ball handling skills improved weekly. He was still pretty timid in the games but that's okay. I was just so proud of how far he came in such a short period of time. He even got a goal in one of the games... that was pretty cool for him.

He liked Soccer a lot, though now that he's recently discovered and fallen in love with baseball he's decided to put soccer aside for a bit. You can guess what Dave's thoughts were about that one!!! And Luke loved having his best buddy on the same team. I think we may need to start separating these boys a bit more.... its going to rock Luke's world to move next year.

This was a pretty standard pose for Luke. Don't worry buddy, its still there.

Luke and Lance concentrating hard in their last game. I love that when Luke's focused he sticks out his tongue.. just like when he was a baby.

Team Lightning

With all of Luke's reading, fact-memorizing and book writing Dave's Dad recently said, "Its a good thing your involving him in Sports too because he has the potential to be a major geek." So true Grandpa, so true.

Everything Grows....

Especially Kindergartners.

Luke is officially a 1st grader. More on that, and my total panic attacks because it this fact, later.

His Kindergarten, and 2 others out of the 5 total that Mammoth Heights has, performed in the cutest program I have ever been witness to. As soon as they opened the curtain I saw this....


and I about lost it.

Then I saw this cutie...


and I was so grateful that I had my big camera to hide behind because I couldn't keep the tears back.

Man, can this kid rock a flower.


Even an out of town guest woke up early to see the show..


It was so fun to have worked in the classroom all year and to know all of the incredible kids in Luke's class. It has been everything I hoped this year would be and more. All thanks to this Teacher..



and plenty of these...


I really can not believe that this year has come and gone so quickly. Now I have to accept the fact that my little, and only, boy will be gone for most of the day (come August 4th) This fact kills me and heavily aids in the before mentioned panic attacks and tears. I have even had dreams about it, crying as I say good-bye to my Luke on his 1st day of first grade. Im hoping its just the pregnancy hormones... its getting ridiculous.

So farewell to a year that I know I'll never forget. A year of great growth, great friends, and great happiness.

Dave's Birthday surprise

Im playing a bit of catch up.... here's a bit about Dave's surprise.

I love to surprise Dave. Its one of my favorite things to do. Having 3 young kids and not having Grandparents near by makes it hard to plan the sorts of surprises I really like. Overnight getaway's. So I was thrilled when my Sister asked me if I wanted to do an overnight babysitting swap. I knew this was my chance to do something unexpected for Dave's birthday. (and I knew Charity was doing us a waaaay bigger favor than we'd be doing for her as her kids are much older and easier than ours. I know Charity knew it too but she was a great sport about it all)

So, Friday came and Tyler, Charity's oldest, came over to babysit while we went out to Dinner. (wink) What Dave didn't know was that Charity was going to be at the house just minutes later to take over for the next 18 hours. After a nice dinner Dave was trying to get his Wifi to work. It was really slow. I non-chalantly mentioned that we'd better find a better spot to get reception because I didn't have a clue as to how to get to the Hotel. It took him a minute for that to sink in. It was fun to watch.

So after a few smiles and confused looks we were on our way here...






The historic Brown Palace Hotel.



This hotel has been open since 1892. I knew that Dave would appreciate the History and character of such an amazing landmark. And it was amazing. I couldn't help but to think about all of the people who had walked through those doors and what the city surrounding it had once been like. The hotel made our night away even more special.

It was a well-needed break from reality. And it came at a perfect time, right before the baby came.

Thank you so much Charity!!!! I think its so important for every couple to get away for a night to re-connect. We have tried to do it once a year, if only for 1 quick night. And I love it!!!! Especially the breakfast room service tradition that we have. It's the icing on the cake.