The Wirthlins

November 22, 2010

2011-06-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

Many of you already know the story.

On November 22, 2010, Jill suffered a cardiac arrest. We had just finished watching a video of Charlotte's birth. Jill and I were on the couch. Luke was at school, Olivia and Ella were playing and Charlotte was napping.

Around 10am, Jill said, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Within seconds, she got stiff and started moving her arms awkwardly. I thought she was joking because she always jokes likes this. It just looked too fake, but within seconds I realized it was real. It was the eyes. No one could fake that blank look.

Her breathing got more shallow, and soon she was snorting for breath. I had the phone. I said, you better not be kidding. I'm going to call 911. I was holding out hope that it was Jill being Jill.

But it wasn't. I called 911, told them what happened. Within 30 seconds I heard a siren in the distance. On the phone, they were asking all sorts of questions: is she breathing? can you feel a pulse? where is she now? Maybe. I think so. I couldn't tell the difference between my own racing heartbeat and heavy breathing. My heartbeat was in my ears.

They had me move her to the ground. Things began to sink in at this point. I felt no life in her as I struggled to get her on the ground. Once the ground, they asked me if I could feel her pulse and breathing, and I tried to say no, but it didn't come out.

Just as they told me to start CPR, there was a knock on the door. I ran and answered it. The paramedics arrived and told me to take the kids in the basement.

The county sheriff came down and took my statement of what happened. A few minutes later, he came back down and said, You better get to the hospital. I don't know how she's doing. I only know they were working her pretty hard.

I dropped the kids off and went to the ER. I expected someone to come out and tell me they did all they could, but she didn't make it. I waited.

When someone came to get me, I was ushered into an ominous little waiting room. No one seemed to know what was going on. I was visited by a chaplain. A social worker from the sheriff's department.

Finally, a nurse peeked in: You can see her in a few minutes. She's just finishing her MRI.

Just like that, as if I already knew she was alive.

When I finally see her, she's surrounded by tubes and wires and they're dropping her temperature to the low 90's to prevent further damage to her heart and brain.

She spent the rest of the day shivering and sedated into an induced coma.

These pictures are from day two.

Our time

2010-11-17T06:47:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I feel starved for time alone with my Husband. Sometimes I NEED a break from my sweet crew. Sometimes I am too tired to play horsey or kitty or tag or tickle monster.

Problem is we are on a tight budget, trying to pay bills and keep some change in reserve for Christmas.

So... whats the answer when you need a little break but cant pay a babysitter?

You round your kids up, get your swimsuit's ready, make a bottle to bring along and head up Pine Ln. You drop off your favorite 4 kiddo's at the enormous play center at Lifetime Fitness. You then meet your cute Husband, who looks too good in his trunks 'cuz he's lost 23 pounds, in the Jacuzzi. You sit and talk and enjoy the hot, relaxing water. You stay in there for only 30 minutes because you know its time to get your kids home for bed. So you take a deep relaxing breath, get out, get dressed and re-unite with your kids, who you are now ready to play kitty cats with.

Sometimes all we need is a jacuzzi and a 30 minute time out with our Spouse. It can be that little bit of sanity that we were desperate for.

Luke

2010-11-14T16:39:00.000-08:00

I remember being a first time Mom. There were so many beautiful things about it. I loved being able to give this little boy all of my time and attention. I had two hands, which meant I could hold Luke's hand and my Husbands hand simultaneously. I only had to pack a small diaper bag for Church each Sunday and I only needed to gear treasures and snacks for 1 age. We never missed a bed time or a playdate or an appointment. When it was nap time there were 2 heads that would hit the pillow, Lukes and then my own. I could prepare a meal for everyone based on what Luke would eat. Going to the grocery store was never put off until Dave was home and spontaneous walks and other such outings occurred on a very regular basis.

There were a few scary things about a first baby as well. I read the "What to Expect: The first year" frequently. I wondered if binky's would cause speech delays, the day her turned 1 the bottle was taken away; never to be seen again, pajamas were never worn 2 nights in a row, diapers were changes the very minute he woke up so that I never chanced a diaper rash. I bathed him every single evening so that I could be sure that he was hitting his bed as cleanly as possible. I stressed out over, what now seems like, the most insignificant details. But what I worried most about were milestones. I remember thinking that, upon sitting up at barely 5 month old, that he was a genius. And when he crawled at 8 months old I thought "He'll probably be average, average is okay, right?" When he didn't walk until he was 13 1/2 months old I worried that he may struggle all through School, getting by with a 2.8 GPA. What if he didn't get into College? We'd still praise him and tell him how much we loved him anyways, even if he weren't quite as smart as his friend, who started walking at 9 months. I was sure that friend would win all of the spelling bee's and probably get into an Ivy League School.

Clearly Im over-exaggerating a bit but the principal was still the same. I thought that those milestones defined much bigger things then they really did. That it defined brilliance. I wondered how he'd measure up. I always worried.

Here we are, almost 7 years later, and I am proud to say that this late walker is doing just fine. He's in advanced math groups and is reading ahead by over a year. He is, what we believe to be, developing somewhat of a photographic memory. He can't wait to go to College to be a Pediatric Neurologist. His Teacher couldn't believe that a little boy, once constantly plagued by Aspergers Syndrome, could possibly come this far in this short amount of time. She said that its been a first in her career as a teacher to be this blown away by such rapid progress. It's mind-boggling to me that he has gone from speech therapy, behavior therapy, OT, and Social Skills groups. From a boy who would scream bloody murder if anything about his day was "off" and who would scratch and bite me until I would bleed. This boy who could not hold a spoon to feed himself until he was almost 2 is now a very well-liked, wonderfully behaved, smart little 6 year old who can memorize page numbers and detailed facts about all sorts of things. I think its nothing short of his hard work and a blessing from on High... and here I was, many years ago, worried that he may struggle, indefinitely, in just about every aspect of his life.

Luke has been a great example to me of what never giving up can become.

Liv can do hard things

2010-11-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes as Parents we set ourselves up. We do whats easy at the time and then we realize later on how hard those things become to break. At least I do.

When Olivia was almost 1 she couldn't really care less about her binky. She slept with it. And that was it. When she woke up from naps or from a good nights sleep she immediately threw it back into her bed, waved, and that was it. That binky was perfectly content in its home... Olivia's bed. It was easy. No kid with a constant pacifier in their mouth, no crying when we forgot it on an outing, no making its way into all of the hidden corners of our home, no straining to understand words through a piece of silicone and plastic.

Until... that 1 time, that turned into 3 or 4 times, that turned into every day. When I let her take it out of bed with her. Slowly it went from a sleep aid to a best friend. She became that kid, as Ella was, who could not go any place without it. Would not take it out of her mouth except to drink or to eat. It was out of control. And it was my own doing.

Yesterday I was fed up. I hated this binky. Hated. So I took the plunge. Olivia transitions quite well and I knew it needed to be all or nothing. So, out of the blue, I walked into the kitchen and jabbed several slits into it with my steak knife. Handed it back to her and watched the scene unfold.

She put it into her mouth, looked at me with a questionable stare and immediately took it right back out. She held it up to me and whimpered, "binky!"

"Darn it" I said, "It's broken"

She played along for a while and then tried again. Same result. This happened throughout the evening. In the mouth, confused look, right back out. She tried to get me to fix it but I had to let her know it was just not something I could do. It was broken and that was that.

I was sensitive to her concerns. I gave big hugs and we yelled a lot of "darn its" and "Oh Man's" but it clicked. She got it. Her treasured companion was no longer doing its job.

But, you see, my Liv can do hard things!

So, that was it. I thought we'd hear a lot of yelling and crying but we haven't. It's been easy. She's talking more, its been wonderful. She slept great last night and is taking a nap without it as I type this post.

I am so thankful for a little girl who can go with the flow and transition well. We have had others who had major struggles in this area. (Luke)

Farewell binky, we have loved you but its time for you to go. And I couldn't be happier about it. Olivia will get there...

3 months

2010-11-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

I think I love this shot because it shows just how big all of her 0-3 month clothes still are. I love, love that she is still teeny-tiny. It just makes me happy.

At 3 months

- I can hold my head up pretty well now. My Mom rarely ever does "tummy time" with me. Mom and Dad need to get better at this. They say every time they lay me down Olivia is all over me. I dont mind it though.

- I love to smile. Mommy didn't get a smile in at this mini photo shoot because I was ready for a bottle 10 minutes before hand. My Mom still likes my stoic looks.

- I laugh when my Mommy plays peek-a-boo. My Siblings really go gaga over this trick.

- I sleep 12-13 hours a night but only take a few hour long naps during the day

- I have gotten much happier through the day. I can sit in my swing, mamaroo, on the couch, or on my play mat for a long while without fussing. I was a little colicky for a few long weeks but I am coming out of that... we are all happy for this.

- Still dont like driving in the car. I just feel sorta' abandoned back there

- I adore my moby wrap and will sleep for 2 or 3 hours in it if Mom will let me.

- I really like my hands. I put them in my mouth all the time, they taste pretty good to me and it was a big day realizing that I have control over those 2 things.

- I wear a size 1 diaper

-I am 9 pounds 7 ounces

- I talk all day long. My Mom thinks I will be a social butterfly like my Sister Ella

- I drink 3 ounce bottles

- I LOVE to snuggle and to be held close and tight

- I am still swaddled each night, though I have broken through it by morning.... I am the first to do this using the Miracle Blanket at this young of an age.

-I went on my first airplane ride this past month. I was such a good girl and didn't make a peep the entire time. I loved being with al of my Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles and Cousins. It was the BEST!!!

- I got 2 new Cousins this month. They are super cute and cool and I cant wait to play with them as much as I can. I'm glad they're here with me now cuz even though playing in Heaven was cool Earth is super awesome... love you Hailey and Nathan.

- I am sweet and happy and cuddly and tiny and beautiful and incredible. My Family really, really adores me.

over it

2010-10-31T06:30:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else totally over Halloween? Man, it's been like the never-ending Holiday. And I have my own opinions on why we even celebrate it to start with. Bur its fun to see the kids all dressed up and I have a major love affair with candy, so I've always been a fan of that part.

This year I just feel its been going on too long. Im sure part of that reason is that Im on this crazy-hard diet and I cant have ANY sugar. So here I am, setting out candy corn and donuts for School parties, passing out candy to Church Trunk-Or-Treaters, passing up all sorts of goodies at Halloween festivities... its rough! But I have yet to have a single taste and that self-control has really surprised me.

So, I will be glad when all of the Halloween stuff is over and done with. Im off to eat my apple.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

from a Pig, a Butterfly, a Strawberry Princess and a Chef.

This was a fun evening. Our Ward did a Trunk-Or-Treat party and the kids had a blast. Charlotte slept through pretty much the entire thing, yes even through the blasting music put on by DJ Jeff... a Ward member who's the best DJ I know. Luke and Ella ran around with their friends the entire time and couldn't wait to get their coveted candy bars. We were lucky in that that day it was around 75 degrees... almost unheard of this late in the Fall. So we were all celebrating that as well.

Olivia started out the night with a bang. She ran right out to the dance floor and danced for about a full hour before she got so sleepy that she wanted to be held the rest of the night.. a rarity for her. As we walked to the car to open up the back for candy goers she started to squeal with delight. She thought we were going home to sleep.

Poor Ella had a rough night. She got tackled to the ground a couple of times by some boys. One of which was pretty brutal. This kid was literally shoving her into a mass of bushes over and over again. I happened to look over there as it was happening and ran over there to stop it. I could see her screaming and stumbling up. As soon as she would get up he'd knock her right back done. I have never been so angry in my life. Poor girl was terrified. But she's way more forgiving that I am and was back to her joyful self in not time, though she woke up with a nightmare that night about the run-in.

All in all it was a fun-filled night. The kids got waaaay too much candy and now I have to stare at it all day as it calls my name.

good taste

2010-10-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

Poor Sammy came over for a playdate today... he is a good sport.

I think Olivia needs a lesson in playing hard to get.

I promise... no more kisses next time Sam.

Charlotte Ryan's blessed day

2010-10-27T17:01:00.001-07:00

Since the reason for our California visit was for this special event I thought it only right to blog about it first.

On Saturday, October 16. Dave was able to bless Charlotte at Dave's Parents home. It was a beautiful morning filled with our Family. In the past we have blessed our Babies at Church, but I can't express how beautiful this intimate, beautiful setting was.

Dave gave her a lovely blessing.. though, due to Charlotte needing to eat 5 minutes earlier, some may have needed to strain their ears to hear it.

Charlotte's middle name, Ryan, is from this handsome guy. My Brother and one of my best friends.

Good looking group, huhh. This was the smallest our little circle has ever been as we only had Family there.. okay, I see Bob as well but he's Family in our eyes.

She was much happier after she had a full tummy.. and after I took off her bonnet (which was my favorite part of her entire dress)

I had another dress that I was totally in love with. Unfortunately, due to the fact that someone was born 5 pounds, it was waaaay too big and I had to sell it. But I was quite happy with this last minute change up that I purchased.

Thank you to all who were there to make this day even more special. It was an extra treat to have Aunt Bonnie and 3 of her 4 gorgeous girls in town. We love you all.

Quad

2010-10-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

This is the first picture we actually have of all of the kids together. Its not a great shot, Olivia did NOT want to sit still (as usual) but it makes me happy and I cant wait for many, many more shots of this crazy group together.

Big

2010-10-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

This little knucklehead is not my baby anymore. He hasn't been for some time. He is big. 6 1/2 to be exact. And I marvel at how that happened.

When I was growing up I always wanted my first Child to be a boy. The big brother. The protector. So I was thrilled when I had that first ultrasound which told me that my hopes for a Son were confirmed. And I knew immediately that he would be sweet, kind and very handsome. And he is.

Luke is an incredible kid. He loves music, namely Band of Horses and Iron and Wine. He cant get enough out of learning and he constantly has his nose in a book. I never thought I'd hear myself tell a Child to stop reading but with Luke I just have to sometimes. He started football this year and has really been enjoying it. I think he still likes baseball the best but I have been so proud of his efforts at trying something totally new. He is a great friend and is getting to be so much fun. I could pal around with him all day long. He is super funny and I love to hear his newest jokes, they are actually starting to make sense. I feel like I could talk with him forever, and I try, until he tells me that he doesn't want to talk anymore. I think I wear him out with all of my daily questions.

Luke has started to get a little sassy since starting 1st grade. Its actually pretty funny. He has never been a kid who talked back or made rude comments. Never. He has always done what he's been told. He is a dream. But he's recently started to make little snide comments. And, as much as we need to be more stern with him here, we sometimes can't help but to laugh. Its just all so out of character for him. And sometimes he can really be quite witty.

I love this boy who is growing up before my eyes. He is turning into the coolest kid and I adore every second that I get to spend with him.

magic?

2010-10-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

I actually went to the trouble to "get ready" yesterday. Meaning, for the first time since I had the baby I dried and straightened my hair. No ponytail for me. I know, fancy, right?

So I came downstairs looking like this...

nothing too fancy. No make-up, no formal dress... just hair down.

Luke ran over and looked at me with a questioned stare.

" Mommy... what happened?"

"What do you mean?" I replied

"You look so pretty. What happened?"

and then came the best part...

"Did you use magic?"

I suppose I really should put in a little more effort so my Son doesn't think I need magic to make myself look presentable.

2 month stats

2010-10-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

Charlotte had her 2 month appointment today. Its crazy to think that, at 8 pounds 6 ounces, She is an entire pound smaller than Luke was when he was born. I love how tiny she is, less than the 3rd percentile, though she looks big to me. It's a nice way to keep her small for as long as possible. Her hight jumped up from the 20% at birth to the 50%. She's getting longer quickly and the Dr. suspects we'll have our 4th tall kiddo.

I love these appointments because its so fun to see how they've grown. I hate these appointments because shots stink. I went ahead with a shot of my own, the flu shot, so that I could empathize with my girl.

gotta love those smiles early on. It almost looks pained... but adorable.

2 years old

2010-10-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

This munchkin is so, so much fun. I really mean it when I say that I can't get enough of her. She is super silly and sweet. She loves to give hugs and kisses to our entire Family. She is kind and fun. I just adore her.

Here are a few things about Liv at age 2.

- She has gone from only being willing to watch "Elmo" to now enjoying Backyardigans, Yo Gabba Gabba, Blues Clues and Little Einsteins. I am grateful for this shift.

- She has been doing speech therapy, due to 6 month's of fluid in her ears, for about 6 weeks now and her language is coming along so quickly. She has been without the fluid in the ears since early August so we assume that is why she's picking up her speech so rapidly. Its amazing what happens when it doesn't sound like you're underwater!

- Olivia adores her baby Sister. She has transitioned so beautifully from our baby to a big Sister. She will bring Charlotte her blankets, binky, diapers. She holds her bottle and kisses her constantly. She's such a nurturer.

- She loves to play and climb. She has amazing balance and can even stand on 1 foot for extended periods of time. In her evaluations with the County she scored about a year ahead in her physical abilities. Dave hopes this means that she will be a good athlete. Okay, so do I.

- She still calls Dave Mama. Its hilarious. She can say "dada" perfectly but she just wont go for it. Dave has gotten used to it and now answers when called.

- Liv is our best listener. Its a beautiful thing.

-She's quite obedient and gets very upset when she gets into trouble.

-She is a great dancer. Really, she can bust out some pretty darn cute dance moves.

- A few days after we got home from the Hospital she decided she wanted NOTHING to do with her bed. She slept that night in a twin bed in Luke's room and never looked back. She loves to be big and has yet to get out of her bed until she wakes up.

- She wants to go pee pee on the potty so badly. She will take off her diaper and sit on the potty constantly. I know I need to jump on this excitement but I am really just too busy right now. Maybe after Christmas I will go ahead with it, if she lets me hold her off.

- She has gone from the 25% in height and the 10% in weight to the 90% in height and the 25% in weight. The Doctor and I had a big celebration at these amazing numbers. Her BMI is below the charts due to her huge difference in weight to height. This has proven to make clothes difficult to fit. We need the length but that makes the waist huge. Tall and skinny.. we may be in trouble.

- She loves the bath!

- We love her light brown hair and her big blue eyes.

- She is so, so cute and fun and angelic. And super, super silly. We have such a great time and are so blessed to have this girl in our Family.

4th

2010-10-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot about this fun onsie.

2 months old

2010-10-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

-I love my swing and my mama roo. I will finally fall asleep in my swing on occasion, my Parents are very grateful for this.

- I could happily be held all day long. I love it but my Mom say's Im being unrealistic.

- I still HATE to have a dirty diaper, I will scream immediately and stop just as soon as Im clean again.

- I have a pretty cute smile and I like to flash it. I especially love to smile at Olivia, I really like her.

-My head is getting stronger every day but its not due to tummy time. My Mom never remembers to do that with me... hey, Im the 4th.

- I sleep about 8-10 hours a night. Im pretty awesome.

- I can still wear a newborn diaper but size my Mom started to pull out the size 1's this last week.

- I love to be around lots of chaos and noise. Mom says its a good thing.

-I drink 3 ounce bottles now

-I never spit up and my Parents are so happy about it

-my 2 month appt. is next week but Mom suspects Im about 8 1/2 pounds.

- I cant wait to see my Grandparents, Aunts, cousins and especially Uncle Ryan (Im named after him so Im hoping he's as cool as Mom say's he is) in a week and a half. That warm pool at Papa's house is calling my name.

- I still love my baths and never make a peep when Im in it.

- I love to look at my toys, mobile, the balls hanging from my Mama Roo and the fish hanging from my swing.

- I really like music and white noise. When I have a hard time falling asleep my Mom turns on the hairdryer and I settle in almost immediately.

- I am still on the Neocate formula and Previcid. Both have proven to help me to feel so good and happy, Im grateful to have them.

- I am starting to coo and its super fun.Plus Mom says I look super cute when I do it.

- I pretty much hate the car these days. Is it too much to ask to just skip all of these car trips and to just stay home and be held?

- i am cute and tiny and awesome.

Daddy

2010-09-30T06:42:00.001-07:00

This is my Dad. I love this picture because it pretty much sums up the last several years. My Dad, the bike rider extraordinary. He is more in shape than any of his kids, or their spouses. And you better believe that he thinks thats pretty cool.

When I think of my Dad several things come to mind. Sports cars, watching him polish up his big, black Army boots until they shined, listening to him "read books" This consisted of getting out a book to read but never actually reading the words written on the page. He would make up his own versions. And they were always much, much better. I have laughed so hard that I cried. Dad still does this with the Grandkids and all us kids are usually right there laughing along.I think of honesty and fierce loyalty. He has great class and always instilled manners into his kids. I think of his big office on the 2nd floor of a Military Base in California. I loved going with my Mom to see him. I loved that my Dad was a Colonial in the Military. He made me proud. There is nothing like being a little girl and watching your Dad get saluted everywhere he'd go. I knew he was respected and important. That left a valuable imprint on me. I remember Saturday mornings as he'd spend hours cleaning and polishing his red Lexus, my Dad is a major perfectionist. He called me "Jilly-Will-Doodle-all-the-day." or just plain "doodle" I loved having a nick-name that only Dad used. I loved the Sundays when he'd get me ready for Church. We'd be in his bathroom together and he'd dry my hair. It was always so special when he'd do it. I felt beautiful. Growing up I loved sports and I was pretty decent at them. I loved that I felt close to my Dad when I'd win a race or a trophy. I was athletic, just like him. When ever I had a bad dream he would run into my room and sit with me until I fell asleep. I think of Scuba Diving and PADI. I think of his deep voice and how I loved when he'd speak in Church. When my Dad is talking I would love to watch people watch him. Because I knew what they were thinking... he is brilliant. I think of perfectly organized sock drawers. I think of ducks. But mostly I think about love.

I always felt safe.. who would dare mess with my Dad? I am proud of my Dad and knew that I was, and am, lucky to be his Daughter. I adore my Dad and feel blessed to have him as my Dad.

Happy Birthday Daddy! You make 63 look pretty darn fantastic.

tell me sweet little lies...

2010-09-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

Luke has a new friend this year in School. They sit at the same table. His name is Liam and he's a big liar.

Every day Luke will come home will several stories that seem, to him, too good to be true. Thats because they are. And the thing is, Luke believes him. Luke does not have a deceiving, manipulating bone in his body. He has never lied to me. Really, never. Its not in him to be dis-honest, even if it means he'll be getting into trouble. I love this about him.

Yesterday he informed us that Liam is simply amazing. That he lives a very exciting life. You see, he has hunted Grizzly Bears in Canada and killed a Polar Bear during one of his treks through the North Pole. And last weekend, while on a boat, he killed a Great White Shark with a pocket knife. See? Liam lives quite an exciting life. And Luke feels that he is so lucky to be friends with such an incredibly adventurous 6 year old.

This morning we had a little talk about Liam. I had to let Luke in on his little secret.. that he's a major fibber. I tried to do it carefully so that he wouldn't feel disappointed that Liam was not what he appeared to be. And from the other side of the room Ella piped in with some great wisdom.

"Luke, Liam choses to tell lies because he just wants people to like him."

She was right on the money, pretty wise for a 4 year old, huhh?

A few minutes later Ella started talking about what they were currently learning in School. Apples. She proceeded to talk about the fact that there was such things as white apples. Luke couldn't stand for this mix up in facts. He had to challenge it.

"There is no such thing as white apples. There are red apples and green apples and even yellow apples. Not white. They dont exist."

Ella was adamant about the fact that there were, indeed, white apples. For her sweet teacher would never lie to them. To which Luke tilted his head and replied...

"Ella. Miss Allison tells lies because she just wants people to like her."

Elmo Party

2010-09-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

We had a few friends to the park where I put together a little Elmo Party for this cutie of mine. It was all things Elmo. Balloons, cake, cupcakes, plates, napkins.. you get the picture. And Olivia was in her own little Elmo heaven.

Ashley made this amazing cake for Olivia, isn't she the greatest!? Thank you Ashley, you are the best and we so appreciate you sharing your talents with us.

opening presents was lots of fun.

The Birthday girl... she's so super cute

I love this 2 year old

Thats right people, she has a binky in her mouth. And she's 2. According to many books and Doctors, Im a failure. But I can not bear to loose the perks associated with this gem. Not yet.

100% Beef

2010-09-27T16:35:00.000-07:00

We went to McDonalds tonight for Dinner. Dave has been gone on his man date with Bob all day long and wont be home until late tonight. This means McDonalds for my kids.

Luke got a double hamburger, he eats like a man lately. Ella got Chicken.

Luke sat down and started reading the bag which read "100% pure beef. 0% anything else."

Now, you and I know what that means. Luke, evidently not so much.

He exclaimed "Ella, mine is the best because it's 100%. Yours is 0%. Sorry."

I couldn't help but laugh. He thought it meant that everything else on the menu, Ella's chicken, was a big 0! Only the beef was 100%.

Im loving it!

2 and at the Zoo

2010-09-24T15:35:00.001-07:00

I cant believe that my little girl is 2. She is just the sweetest, cutest little thing and none of us can get enough of her.

This will be a short little Birthday post because Im tired and need to start Dinner (we'll do the sweet, sentimental post later on). So we'll just say that we had a great day at the Zoo. (You'll have to forgive the photo quality as we forgot our camera and these are all taken on Dave's phone)

Liv loves the Zoo, especially the monkeys. She was making the sweetest little Monkey sounds the entire time, she has the cutest little voice ever.

we never, ever buy "park food/drinks" but when its your birthday you get to do special things like get a $4.00 slurpee in a cool cup

...and get a yummy Watermelon sucker, which really is just a bribe to stay seated so that we could get outta' there sooner and quicker.

We are excited for her little Elmo party at the Park tomorrow. She's an Elmo fanatic and I think she's going to go crazy with all of the Elmo garb all over.

8 weeks

2010-09-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

There are no words to describe how in love I am with my beautiful Charlotte.

Date.. take 1

2010-09-23T07:45:00.001-07:00

If you are lucky enough to go on a date with this cute 4 year old you are in for an incredible evening. Here are a few things that you will enjoy.

While you are at Ann Taylor Loft she will sit in front of the accessory stand and ohhhh and ahhhh at every single sparkly item. And there were a lot of sparkly necklaces and headbands. She will continue to try on many of the before-mentioned and she will make cute comments about how brilliant she looks. All of the store clerks and whom ever walks by her will comment on how darling she is and how much fun you're going to have with her as a shopping buddy.

She will tell you stories that will make you so to know her. Like how the boys at School were making fun of Kenzie because they noticed that she wears a pull-up. She will then go on to say that she stood up to her classmates and insisted that they stop their teasing immediately because Kenzie is nice and she is her friend. And then she would go on to comfort a crying friend, because it breaks her heart to see her so sad.You will then be left wishing that you had a friend like Ella when you were 4. Fiercely kind and completely loyal.

You will almost cry at her bravery and her commitment to being a good friend. Because, as she will tell you, she's not afraid and because thats what Jesus would have done.

You will love to see the looks on peoples faces as this tall, skinny little blondie in pigtails waves at them. Just because she wants to say hello. Because, as she will tell them, she thinks that they are beautiful.

You will snicker at the little things she says such as "o' nuts!" when she spills a drop of her melted ice cream.

You will marvel at how, for a girl who's life revolves around sugar, she eats her Cherry Garcia Ben and Jerry's sooooooo slowly.

You will wonder how a 4 year old can have such a huge personality. And can be so social. And so incredible.

You will love when she'll hold your hand for a bit. Because, unlike her 6 year old Brother, she really doesn't do that anymore.

You will get to see her face light up and her voice go a million miles a minute as she see's something glorious in a shoe store window. Twinkle toes. And you will want to buy them for her just because you have never seen anyone so excited. But you wont... because they are $40.

If you are lucky enough to go on a date with this character you will get to see her busting some serious moves in Gap when she realizes that "Girls just wanna' have fun" is playing over-head. And you will sit back and watch the looks on peoples faces as they stop in their tracks to enjoy her sassy dance moves and to smile at her. And you know what they are thinking. Because you think it too. She is a riot.

And when you get home and put her to bed you will continue to think back on your time alone with Ella. Because, even though she often drives you mad, she really is incredible. And you get to be a part of her life. And you know that you are lucky.

Twins

2010-09-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

Do you know what its like to have a very best friend? Someone who can finish your sentences and someone who you love so much that you feel like Family? Someone who likes what you like and who you can spend every day with without ever running out of things to talk or laugh about?

Well Luke does. At the early age of 4 he found a best friend. And I am so happy for him. He and Lance are so similar and yet so different at the same time. Lance is the friend that I prayed Luke would have. I mean it.

They both love to read and are among the best readers in their grade. They love to discuss animal facts and Magic Tree House books. They love to play sports and run around in Summer grass. They are afraid of almost the exact same things and they think the same girls are cute. (that may have posed a problem one day) Lance brings out the best in Luke. He pushes him to be social. He always makes sure that Luke is included.

I will be devastated to leave Colorado in 9 months. Completely devastated. But one of the reasons why I will be heart-broken will be for my Son. I can't stand the idea that he will be moving away from Lance. The thought literally gives me a stomach ache. Sick, I hate it.

But for now these 2 buddies will continue to practice their secret hand-shake, will get chased by the cute girls at lunch time. They will discuss which animal would beat whom in a fight and for what reasons. They will wrestle in the backyard and tell terrible jokes (they're getting better at this though) And they will play Wii and air hockey. They will save seats for each other in Primary each Sunday. They will laugh hysterically.

They will do all of the the things that best bud's do.... because thats what they are. The very best.

These picture's were taken after School on twin day. You will notice that even their shoes match, yeah... I know.

a half

2010-09-11T15:15:00.001-07:00

This handsome boy is 6 and a HALF today. He has been waiting for a long while for September 11th to be here because, as I have learned as a Mom, the half year thing is a big deal. To celebrate we let him have a chocolate chip cookie. A real one. Dairy and all. He didn't like it.

Happy half Birthday to one amazing little, big boy. And you can check your new found, first grade attitude at the door. Im not a fan. (I guess we cant complain because this has really been the first of it we've ever seen from sweet Lukie)

Playing

2010-09-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten that we even had this great playmat. Charlotte had a great time watching all of the lights and hitting the toys. To be honest Im not sure she knew that she was batting at them as she's still not really in control of her movements. It was still fun and the kids got a huge kick out of watching her play.

1 month

2010-09-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

This little lady is 1 month old. Incredible.

I forget just how much of a rollercoaster that 1st month is. Getting use to running on less sleep, learning what cry's mean what. figuring out favorite positions to be held in, bottles... just a million discoveries and several hundred learning curves.

She's been a pure joy to get to know and to love. Just a sweet little baby.

We've both been hit by a few bumps in the road. Charlotte has a pretty severe allergy to dairy and even Nutramigen isn't doing the trick. As of today she's on a hypoallergenic amino acid-based formula, Neocate. I was cutting dairy out of my diet but then got Mastitis and we're not sure if my milk supply can recover from it, Im still pumping... we'll see. If the Neocate doesn't resolve the problems Charlotte's having it may be a reflux issue and we'll be off to a GI. We'll know how this stuff works within the week, Im optimistic.

At 1 month:

-I love my baths. I have yet to cry while soaking in my fabulous tub.

- I hate to have a dirty diaper. I can not stress this enough

-Sitting on the swing on the porch is heavenly. I love being outside in the fresh air and the gliding of the swing

- I weigh 7 lbs. 9 oz. (as of this afternoon's Dr. appt.). Funny how at 5 weeks I am still a pound and a half smaller than my brother was when he was born!

- I am in a size newborn diaper

-The only binky that I will take are my gum drops

-I dont like getting put in my car seat but the minute we start driving I fall fast asleep

- I love to be held most but I'll settle for my swing too.. its a pretty cool place to be

- I love music

- When my Parents forget to give me my reflux medication I have been known to projectile vomit. But I have only done this 4 or 5 times. And its only ever been on my Dad. Other than the big soakers I never spit up, its either all or nothing.

- I like to be out and going. I love all the sounds and lights of the outside World

- My siblings adore me and always talk about how cute I am. I get a little nervous when my Brother talks about how he wants to eat me because I'm so cute.

- My hair is as unruly as my Sisters and sticks straight up! My Mom said my Sisters (now) have amazing hair so Im not too worried about it. Plus Fall's coming so I can hide it with cute hats, like my new one above, for a while.

- I am cute, and tiny and love to snuggle and to be held close and tight.

August 1, 2010

2010-08-31T18:24:00.000-07:00

I will forever be grateful to my friend, Aly, for capturing one of the best days of my life. I love everything about these photographs. I love the flakes of newborn skin, the IV still resting in my hand and the hospital bands adorning my wrist. I especially love the feelings they bring back to me of that wonderful day, the day we were blessed with a miracle.

misery

2010-08-30T21:31:00.000-07:00

I just want to eat this...

or something sprinkled in cheese or made with creamy butter.

Week 2 of this is killing me.

Perfection

2010-08-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

When I first found out that I was going to be a Mother, over 7 years ago, a thought came into my head. I looked into the future of Motherhood and just "knew" that I was going to be a perfect Mom. I wasn't going to raise my voice, I would have patience galore, I wouldn't let annoying sounds and repetitive songs get the best of me. I'd never loose my cool, I'd take my kids to the park almost daily, I would be totally engaged, tv time would be almost non-existant. Yes, this would come easily for me. I was born to do this. Perfect Mom... that'd surly be me.

So here I am, my oldest is 6 1/2, and I am NOT" perfect Mom", or even close. I have yet to see that Mother that I imagined all of those years ago. In fact, I just got done yelling at my Son as he threw a blanket over Olivia's head while she was climbing up the stairs. So I'm yelling... and Its not even 9am.

I will have nights, usually at the end of a long day, and I will imagine how the next day will go down. Im going to do it, I think. It's going to be the perfect day. Im going to talk with my "nice mommy" voice. Im going to play kitchen and babies with the girls for hours. I will be the opitomy of calm and patient.

I frequently start out days with the resolve that it will be the greatest day ever. That Im going to be the greatest Mom.

And yet, I always fall short. Always. Some days by a LOT. Life goes its way and I get lost in the middle of it. So I let go of my ideal day ideas and resolve that it will have to wait for tomorrow, because today is already too hard.

And then I read this quote from a Mother.

“Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will be anxious and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, he can teach these children directly, through us."

It touched me strongly. It is so true.

If there were perfect days, free from frustrations, we would rarely solicit His help. Days of dulled patience and even feelings of failure are always the days that I am most likely to fall on my knees and ask for help. I know that He loves this Children. Loves them more that I can comprehend, more than I love them. (and that's hard to even imagine) And those times of prayer, in behalf of my own short-comings with my Children, are the times that I feel the most inspiration on their behalf.

Its a beautiful thing when you think about it. I know that Heavenly Father is there always, waiting for me to stop relying on my own failed attempts and to reach out for His help. And when I submit to that, those are alway the best days when I have the most determination to do and to be better.

I have a long way to go but I know that He will help me to be the kind of Mother that I strive to be, that these kids deserve. I only need to go to him in my times of anxiousness and frustrations.

I let go of the idea of a perfect day and I hope to have more day's guided by Heavenly Father. Those will be the greatest days for us all.

longer

2010-08-26T11:50:00.000-07:00

Its almost 1pm. There are things to be done. Many, many things. Olivia and Charlotte are asleep. Big kids are at School. Dave's getting in his daily dose of reading for his exams (im so beyond proud of him)

There are also some very necessary things to be done. Like a shower. But I would rather be doing this...

Holding my brand new, tiny Charlotte.

So yes, I should probably take this time to put her in her bed, shower, clean the kitchen and throw in the laundry thats covering my bedroom floor.

But Im not going to. Because I've learned that time goes by all too quickly. I can shower later, thats what perfume and deodorant is for. And the kitchen and laundry are patient, they'll kindly wait for me. But this lovely lady is going to be a day older another ounce heavier tomorrow. So Im going to sit here, still in my pajamas, and guiltlessly hold her longer. And Im going to love every moment of it.

these are a few of my favorite things...

2010-08-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

I have had a few expecting friends ask about my baby must haves. I thought I'd do a little review post on my top products. Those who know me know how obsessed I am with baby product reviews and research... its a curse. These are all my opinions.. just opinions. I hope I don't offend anyone with them.

1. Infant Car Seats- I have owned a different seat with each baby. Britax, Peg Perego, Graco and Maxi Cosi. I must say that I am loving my Maxi Cosi that Dave's Parents got us as a baby gift. Its small, lightweight and super comfortable.. not to mention that they have the coolest prints and color options. The weight/ length restrictions are not as high as a few others, which is why its so lightweight and easy to carry, but my kids are never in their infant seats for longer than 6 months so this didn't effect my decision here. Graco is always a safe bet as well, just not very exciting. Its a great car seat though and you wouldn't be at all disappointed if you went with this option.

2. Convertable car seat- Nothing touches the Britax line. In fact they just came out with a brand new design for all models. I cant tell you how many friends have gone a different route here only to be unhappy with it and buy the Britax anyways. Nothing is safer or more well made. You'll be using this seat for years, just buy it right the first time. This is a great time to buy the older version Marathon or Decathlon as they are all being clearanced out to make room for the 2010 models.

3. Mamaroo- I sold my swing and bouncers(as this is pretty much all of those things in one) to pay for this beauty. Its the best of all worlds. Check out their website for a video on it... very cool. www.4moms.com

4. Puj Tub- Best newborn tub. Kinda pricey and I probably wouldn't have bought it if I had several other baby itens to buy. This being my 4th I didnt have much to purchase, it justified this one. One of the best products out there for a newborn. No slipping. Charlotte has yet to cry in this bath, she is so cozy and cradled. And I dont even need to hold on to her with 1 hand like my last baby bath. Love that it drys flat, I hang it from my door hook.

5. Stroller- Spend your money here if no where else. You'll use this for 4 years.. buy it right. I am in love with my Baby jogger City Select. It can be a single or a double, is jam packed with options and features and maneuvers like a dream. I sold my old double jogger and my single bugaboo to buy this and have never missed either. This stroller will also grow with you if you want to add the other seat. Plus I can use car seat adapters and snap my infant seat in it so it can work like a travel system. If I have Liv I use it as a double. If shes not with me, I just take the second seat out and use it as a single. A dream!!

I love about anything made by Baby Jogger or Bob, and you can always find them in great shape on CL if you're wanting to save money and still have a quality product that will last for years. Key to a good stroller is maneuverability. I can steer my baby jogger, fully loaded, with one hand.

6. Miracle blanket- check their website for testimonials... I agree with them all. This is one of my favorite products ever and I have used the same 2 with all 4 kids. There are similar products that work great but this is the best one of its kind and will last you the longest because of its size.

7. Pacifier- I love the one piece silicone gum drops. They are soft and safe but not as huge as the soothies.

8. boppy lounger- My friend lent me her's and its been a dream. Charlotte sleeps on it each night and she is so comfortable. Its a perfect place for new babies to lounge. Its cozy and keeps them up at an elevated angle without slipping.

9. Aden and Anais blankets/ swaddlers/ burp cloths- I use these every day, all day. for everything. Love them!! They were a great gift!! This being my 4th I have lots of blankets but these are my all-time favorite.

10. Medela newborn foam soap- the cure for cradle cap. But use it right away and you'll never even see it on your baby head to start with. 1 bottle will last forever. Im still using the same one I used with Olivia when she was a baby.

11. Beaba Babycook- Steams and purees your food to make fresh baby food. These are on Craigslist all the time for half off. Lots of people have the ambition to do their own foods but dont follow through. This combo makes it easy, especially if you're as lazy as I am.

12.Ergo baby carrier- I sold my Baby Bjorn to buy this one from Baby Steals (where it was 40% off... great day!) Its amazing. Way more comfortable, love the front and back carry, Olivia loves to be in it on my back which is a nice option. It has a very high weight capacity and the weight is all on your hips so you cant even feel the kids in it. These rarely go on sale but you can find a plethora of them on Craigslist or ebay. About the same cost, or less, than the Bjorn but I fell it is a much better value for the money.

okay, there are a few favorites.... take 2.

Charlotte's first day of Church

2010-08-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

Today marked the first Sunday of a lifetime, I hope, of going to Church. Charlotte looked so cute in her tiny dress but the darling headband made by a good friend, Amy Almeida, made the outfit. Thanks again Amy, everyone commented on how amazing it was.

Sweet Charlotte was such good girl for the entire 3 hour block. She awoke briefly for a bottle and to be changed before she was back to sleep. I loved being back into the regular Sunday routine and I especially loved having this peanut snuggled up on me all afternoon. Pure bliss.

The first hiccup in the road

2010-08-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

All of our babies have had various newborn problems. Luke had a severe dairy allergy that we finally figured out when he was about 6 weeks old. He would scream and projectile vomit constantly. Ella had pretty severe reflux and ended up on soy formula due to dietary limitations. And Olivia, well you all know that story too well. She had a dairy intolerance and the worst case of reflux that our Pediatrician had ever seen. This, as you may recall, eventually led us to surgery after a 6 day Hospital stay, several medications, $50 a can Neocate formula and many sleepless, teary-eyed days and nights.

So that is why I say that our babies are hard. We have never know those first few months without diet changes, screaming and wondering what's wrong and what we do.

And then came Charlotte. She was easy. She nursed without difficulty. She hardly ever spit up. She has been a dream.

Until a few days ago. An all to familiar scene. Screaming just moments after she'd fallen asleep, restless, terribly gassy, loose stools. The only positive this time was that I Knew these symptoms well. I took away the breast milk, which I have been working so hard at keeping up for her, and eliminated dairy from my diet. It will take about 2 weeks to get it out of my system entirely and we decided to give her Nutramigen in the mean time. It kills me to pump every 3 hours only to dump it out... but I am determined to give this little girl breast milk so thats just what Im going to do.

On Monday the Doctor wants to see her for possible reflux due to spitting up on the Nutramigen. I can already tell she has it as she fights back spit up and turns red. But red is okay with me, though it makes me anxious. All too familiar to 2 years ago with Olivia. But, again, red is okay. Blue is not.

So here we are again in these familiar days. The good news is that I hardly know better. And that, on this special formula, she's back to being pretty calm and relaxed. Not to mention she slept for 7 hours last night.... not to shabby.

I just hope the next few weeks can go by fast and that we'll be back to breast milk in no time. But man... does this no dairy thing stink!!!

Giving up chocolate and cheese for your baby... thats true love.

whats in a name?

2010-08-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

We went into the Hospital with 2 names. Clara and Amelia. Clara was a late horse but we loved it. And Amelia was a name that we had the entire time, our go-to name. We thought and we thought but the feeling never came on which to use. So, on the morning of August 1st, we headed out the door to Sky Ridge Hospital with both names. If I had to put money on it I was sure we'd end up going with Amelia Elizabeth.

At 1:42pm our tiny, sweet girl came into the World. I thought that I'd take a look at her and surly I'd feel some sense as to who she was. What her name would be. Sure enough, she was born and all I saw was a beautiful baby. No name hit me. I didn't know this little person yet. And I didn't know her name.

Something did happen, pretty much right off the bat. We looked at her and came to a surprising conclusion. "She's not an Amelia." And Dave quickly agreed.

Since we only had 2 names it became obvious that, should one name not fit she would be named the other. So, Clara she was. Wasn't she? I tried to call her Clara. I thought she could be a Clara. But everytime I tried to say it the name sounded awkward. I fumbled with it. When a Nurse asked her name and I said I thought it was Clara, well... it just didn't feel right.

That night, at around 3am, the Nurse brought hr into me for a feeding. As I nursed her in the dim lights of my hospital room we had a little chat. It went like this...

You're not a Clara are you?

But you're not an Amelia either.

What is your name baby?

And I sat for a bit as I stared at this beautiful, soft, tiny, feminine Daughter that I helped to create and it came.

In a whisper I asked...

Are you a

And in that dark room as I held my baby I knew. It was a sweet, peaceful moment.

Yes she is a Charlotte. Now, what would Dave think?

I had liked the name Charlotte for sometime. Even before I was pregnant. But when I would put i on the table Dave would push it right off. I was a little nervous to tell him that I knew what her name was but it was her name. I hoped he'd feel it like I did and that he'd come around. Not just come around but love it.

That next morning he called to tell me he was on his way. I couldn't wait. I exclaimed that I knew her name and that she was a Charlotte. I think he said something to the extent of... "we'll see..."

He came in the hospital room shortly there after and, again, I told him her name. He sat with it for a minute and immediately asked what her middle name would be. I though to myslef, "this may be easier than I thought"

So we thought for a few minutes about a middle name. We threw out a couple, they all would have worked fine. And then it hit me. I was so excited about it I almost jumped out of my skin.

And Dave was about as excited about it as I was.

Ryan... I loved it. My Brothers name is Ryan and he's about a good a person as you'll find. Smart, clever, kind, funny, classy, thoughtful, a great Father and Husband, handsome. He's the guy who you love to introduce as a Brother because you feel like being related to him makes you a better, cooler person. He's one of my best friends and heros. I adore him almost more than I adore anyone. Naming one of my Children after him felt right and wonderful and exciting. It was a perfect fit. Even now as I type this I get excited about her middle name because it means so much to me.

So, Charlotte Ryan she was and Charlotte Ryan she certainly is. Its a big name for a tiny girl but she couldn't be anyone else.

Im in love

2010-08-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

with this tiny angel....

cant believe she'll be 2 weeks old tomorrow.

Ella's 3rd first day of Pre-School

2010-08-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

So, here we are. First day of Pre-School... take 3. The thing about starting School when you're 3, as Ella did, and having a December Birthday, as Ella does, is that you get to go to lots of Pre-School. Which she, luckily, loves.

She is attending School at a local Elementary, Prairie Crossing. Its an excellent School and she loves being at a "real" School, like her Brother. She will be going 4 days a week for 3 hours (imagine choirs of Angels singing) Ella needs this just about as much as I do.

I have to admit, I was a bit tearey-eyed as she got in her line and skipped off. I think it was seeing her at a real Elementary School and realizing just how grown up she's getting.

getting big

2010-08-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

I know this sounds crazy but I just got very sad. When you find out why you're going to laugh at me. I don't care.

My baby's umbilical cord stump just fell off. I went upstairs to change her and there it lay, inside her pink and brown pajamas. I found myself staring at it and then over at her newly revealed belly button. And i was sad.

Charlotte Ryan... week 1

2010-08-08T12:08:00.001-07:00

Oh how much joy this tiny girl has brought with her.

I keep looking at the clock and remembering what I was doing this time last week. Not knowing what this little one would be like, look like, be named or bring to our Family. What a difference that first week makes.

It has been such a pleasure getting to know Charlotte. She is sweet, loving, cuddly, content, curious and.. simply put, good. She eats good, takes a bottle as well as nurses great, falls asleep easily, sleeps wonderfully (only woke up 1 time last night) enjoys being in her car seat, swing and ergo baby carrier.

She loves to be outside especially. I will take her out and swing with her on our little glider and she really seems to enjoy it. If she gets fussy she will calm down immediately. Thankfully, at this point at least, she really doesn't get very fussy. She seems pretty calm and laid back. But when she does cry (especially when she wakes up hungry) she will go from 0 to 60. And for such a tiny thing she surly has a good pair of lungs on her.

Watching the kids with her has been such a hi-light of this week. They love to hold her and check up on her constantly. She is the first thing they want to see in the morning and they love to give her sweet kisses throughout the day. Olivia has been amazing. I was a little worried because she loves to sit on our laps and is quite a Momma's girl. She has done beautifully with the transition out of "baby". She loves to hold Charlotte and especially enjoys helping with her bottles. Its pretty cute! Plus she's become a little Daddy's girl throughout the last little while and I think Dave is really in heaven. 3 girls who dote on him... not such a bad gig.

The best part is that little Charlotte loves me. Sounds silly and insecure of me but its true and I love it. She turns her head towards the sound of my voice, she calms down quickly when I hold her, she cuddles right into my neck and falls asleep with me daily.

She loves me and I adore her.

Sleeping Charlotte

2010-08-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

I love the newborn stage. I love the tiny body that molds into mine. I love that they sleep for hours on end and I love holding them for as much of that time as possible.

I love this little angel. Thus far our best newborn yet (which isn't too terribly hard to win the prize of with my newborn's)

First bath at home

2010-08-05T20:16:00.001-07:00

Charlotte Ryan loved her first bath. She didnt make a single peep until we took her out and wrapped her up. The entire Family wanted in on the event and gathered around the sink to watch, it was pretty cute.

Loving life in her Puj tub. These things are fantastic! Perfect for a tiny newborn, no slipping and sliding. We love bath time!!!

August 1, 2010

2010-08-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

I have been very lucky in my labor and deliveries. I love them. I envy others who get to give birth. I have been excited this entire time for this day. Charlotte's birthday. And it was the very best delivery in just about every way.

We checked into the Hospital at 6am. I was surprisingly well-rested, thanks to a night of Unisom. I was feeling good and calm. I was feeling happy.

We were checked into our room and I got all ready in my horrible hospital gown (I saved my cute one for pictures that evening) By 7:30am they had just started me on pitocin. I wasn't feeing any contractions until 9:30am and even then they were quite small and totally bearable. I told Dave they weren't strong enough to have sent me to the Hospital had I not already been there. So life was good. I was getting more excited. And best of all I was in no discomfort.

My Doctor said she was going to come in to break my water at 10am. She said to go ahead and get the epidural if I wanted to have it because things would probably go relatively quickly after the water was broken. I am all about the epidural so I did a little drug cheer and awaited my favorite Doctor, the anesthesiologist. He came in about 10am. They had a little problem getting the last of the tubing through. He tried for about 10 minutes, which is a nerve wracking thing... being hunched over, naked back exposed, someone digging around your spine with a needle. Finally another Dr. came in to assist. He had the same problem. They had to take everything out and start all over again. This was not what I wanted to hear but I was grateful to have it all over and could feel the beautiful numbing in my legs immediately. Heaven.

Dr. Barikno came in at 10:30ish, broke my water and shot the breeze with me for a while. I love her.

So I slept more, which was pretty much how I spent the entire morning. It was the best napping I'd had in months.

They came in to check me at 1:15pm and I was at a 7. I thought to myself, this may take a while longer. And even made a joke about how sorry I was to be keeping my Dr. from her Family on a Sunday. Within 15 minutes I was at a 10. They brought in all the gear, called the Doctor and got me ready to push.

I pushed for literally 30 seconds and there she was. The most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. Seeing her the first time was the experience of a lifetime and I will never forget it.

I couldn't believe how tiny she was. Even then I was guessing maybe 7 pounds. I couldn't wrap my head around it when they called out her weight. Who has a full-term 5 pound baby!? Crazy!!

They had to take her away pretty much right off the bat to regulate her temp. They want them to be at least 97 degrees and she was about 95. Plus she had her cord wrapped around her neck so her breathing a little strained.

As I was left there alone, awaiting my lunch, I was left alone with my thoughts. Happy. Thats all I could really feel. Just so, so happy and grateful.

Now... all we needed was a name. (next post)

Welcome...

2010-08-02T10:52:00.001-07:00

Charlotte Ryan Wirthlin

5 Lbs. 6 oz. 18 1/2 inches long.

our Family

2010-07-31T11:41:00.000-07:00

Late last night, after my wonderful date with my hot Husband (where I stuffed myself surprisingly full of Cheesecake Factory delights) I found myself looking for a DVD. It was of a recorded 4D ultrasound that my Parents were interested in seeing, at least my Mom was. I found a blank DVD in the back of the drawer. I knew it wasn't what I was looking for but I was curious, so I popped it in and pressed play. It was a DVD that I made for our Parents for Christmas in 2008. I dont think I had seen it since.

I sat back and watched. Miscellaneous pictures of the kids appeared on the screen along with some mushy songs. I didn't want it to end. It was 3 or 4 songs worth of photographs. Most were of Luke and Ella from our California days. And towards the end baby Olivia come on. It was overwhelming to watch these 3 kids who I love more than anything. To see the things we did together, interactions with each other, places we'd go. It was a record of our life. It showcased those whom I love most. My Family.

I couldn't help but to think of this baby girl who will be joining in in all tomorrow. I imagined what this same video would be in a couple of years. Filled with new pictures of a Sister and a Daughter that we've yet to meet. Pictures of Olivia and she... splashing in the pool. Pictures of Luke and She, cheesy grins and skinny arms wrapped around each other.

Today at breakfast I said "Well, here's to our last day as a family of 5." And I was thinking about all of the chaos and craziness that's about to hit us all. My Mom jumped in and said, "this is your last day as an incomplete family. Tomorrow you will be complete." I loved that. I cant wait for it.

To a complete Family. 1 Dad. 1 Mom. 1 Son and 3 Daughters. The Wirthlins. Finally all together. (I hope....)

poor girl

2010-07-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

Can you believe this cutie just got diagnosed with her 7th ear infection in 5 months? No good. She's had constant fluid in both ears since she was about 13 months. So, after the baby is born she'll have a little visit to the ENT to discuss tubes. I know they're no biggie, it just bums me out.

The good news is that once her ears are free of constant fluid and infections, she'll probably be a lot more verbal.(At least Im thinking it will be a good thing.. its kinda' nice to have a quiet one) She's recently qualified for speech and should be starting that in a couple of weeks. We'll sure miss her constant runs of in-coherent chatter but it will be nice for all of us to get things progressing in that area.

stick a fork in her....

2010-07-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

cuz she's done!!!

Here we are. The end of another pregnancy. Its hard to believe that this is my 4th and final time doing this. At least its my plan to be done with this stage of life. I'd love to have 5 kids but I honestly can NOT do another pregnancy. Its was just too much on everybody. I have been taught, repetitively, that my plans don't really matter or mean much. But I hope it holds true in this case. Being pregnant 4 times has been something I'll forever be thankful for but Im excited at the idea of not doing it again.

This has been the best ending to a pregnancy that I've ever had. The worst pregnancy, by far, but the best send out. Even amidst the heat of a Colorado Summer I have been fairly content and energized. The energy fades literally every single day but I am still getting things done. Life with 3 little one's cant slow down a whole lot so in most cases I havent got a choice.

I have had several friends who were due before me, the last of which has had her baby this past weekend. Thats a strange place to be... next! But I am excited. I cant wait to meet her and her Siblings are just as thrilled, if not more, than I.

My Mom and Dad come into town in 3 days, which takes a lot of stress off. I have prayed that this baby would wait until they were here and not think about coming any earlier. Just for simplicity and stress' sake. So I am even more convinced that we'll make it. I think August 1st will be a great day to be born!!!

these last few days of being pregnant are the worst for pictures. Big, big, big!!! But I had to get one last one in... for posterity.

Any guesses?

2010-07-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

Its that time again. We did this last time and there were no winners, maybe this time someone will guess spot on.

So, play along, won't you? How big do you think this little one will be? And any last minute name suggestions? We are still not sure.

A look back...

Luke- 9 lbs. 6oz. 21 1/2" tall
Ella- 7 lbs. even. 19 1/2" tall
Olivia- 6 lbs. 15 oz. 18 1/2" tall

So I have it in me to make 'em huge and to make 'em little. Im guessing 7lbs. 4 oz. and 19 1/2 inches.

To clear up any confusion...

2010-07-21T17:42:00.001-07:00

This is our Bjorn. Many of you know him. Many of you love him. We love him too. Bjorn is now a happy, Southern California resident, living with my Brother, his Wife and their soon to be 4 boys. (perfect life for a Golden Retriever, right?) Its a long story and, for us, its a bit sad. But in so many ways its a very happy story and we are thrilled with the end result. Any bit of sadness left is just our selfishness at not having him around... but he's happy and our kids are okay with it (thanks to Sparkle and Goldie.. our new beta fish) so thats what mattered most to me.

We miss you buddy and are already excited to see you in October. Hit the beach for us. We love you.

Baby Olivia

2010-07-18T17:18:00.002-07:00

..and I have enjoyed every moment of it.

A day in the life...

2010-07-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

So often I hear the question, what do stay at home Mom's do all day long? Today I decided to track it. More so for me to remember what a typical day's like as a very pregnant, 30 year old Mom to 3. So, here's what we got. Some days are busier and some slower so this fits right in the middle.

wake up- today I did this at 8:45am. Dave has been amazing at letting me sleep in these past few months of pregnancy. I think he knows that I dont sleep well at night much these days. Whatever the reason, its glorious and a welcome change from a typical 6:15 start time.

kids eat breakfast- this usually consists of 3 different things as none of the kids seem to want/like the same thing. Oatmeal for Luke (standard) Eggs and fruit for Olivia and fruit and a bar for Ella. Pretty standard.

Clean up from breakfast

get kids dressed. Luke has a baseball game so I get him ready for that (actually he gets ready all by himself and just asks for a little help with his shoelaces) and Ella decides last minute that she'll go as well. Its blistering hot so a sun dress it is. Pack a backpack for Ella of things to keep her entertained, as baseball really wont keep her interest for more than 10 minutes. (crayons and workbook-this packing is done by Dave)

Dave and older kids are out the door. A little rushed but I think they'll make it on time. Makes me happy that we have gas in the van.

Give Olivia some needed 1 on 1 time. I love this part. Read her a story, play "Elmo" on the iphone. Pick up after the mess she's made of shoes in various bedrooms.

get dressed. No shower yet... too much to get done while I have a quiet house.

change diaper number 3. Get Olivia cup number 2. Find lost binky. Play with, read to tickle and love Olivia before putting her down for a nap. Its now 10:45am.

Tidy up mess from Olivia's play

Make kids beds

clean up kids bathrooms... toothpaste is all over (typical)

separate Ella and Olivia's laundry.

Lug huge laundry basket (huge because its been way to long) down 2 flights of stairs.

Lug huge basket of clean clothes upstairs. Fold laundry... about 3 loads. Take a breath and make several trips upstairs to put it all away.

remember that I need to eat food too. Pour bowl of cereal and eat.

unload dishes

load sink full of dishes

wipe down kitchen counters, microwave and stove. sweep kitchen floor.

move laundry through

Church calling time. Emails, phone calls and more phone calls. Primary Program date glitch. Find new Program date. Call and email several regarding that issue.

Kids home. Lunch, different for each kid (Dave helps here too.. hooray)

Dave leaves to do reading for comprehensive exams (this happens daily) Olivia wakes up.

Change diapers, get Olivia dressed, make and feed Olivia lunch.

major clean up needed. Olivia decided to pour half of her plate of pea's and hot dog onto table, chair and floor. This is a vacuum job, not a sweep job.

Vacuum the rest of the rooms on main level since I have it out and it's pretty well needed... though I just did it 2 days ago.

Move laundry through

play with the kids. read to kids.

break up kids fights

console Olivia because she gets mad when I take away a breakable toy.

ohhh and ahh over kids artwork. Hang up in their rooms

clean up toys again that have gotten scattered all over the place

snack for kids

wipe down table ....again ( I do this about 5 times a day)

kids are at eachother. I think they're bored. Im tired so I turn on a Care Bears Movie. That seems to help for about an hour.

Movie is loosing interest. I turn it off and take kids to play outside.. its still way too hot to function at 9 months prego.

Dave gets home!!!!

slip n slide time.

I bring out ice cream sandwiches. (the soy kind... poor Luke) the kids dont seem to mind. I also bring out the watermelon and let them gobble it all up. Big clean up happens afterwards. Worth it.

go to Target

go to Petco

clean out fish tank... okay, Dave does this while I write thank you cards and put Pizza in the oven for dinner

Dinner

baths

story, scriptures, prayers and bed.

clean up after dinner. Yep... wipe down table.

thats it. Its 7:20 and here I am. Left to do... RELAX! And get some reports ready for Church meeting tomorrow morning.

A day in my life. Left out are several hugs, breaking up of arguments, elmo songs to be sung, hands and faces wiped, keeping Olivia entertained, cleaning of spills, wiping of tears, helping in the bathroom, phone calls, scheduling...etc.

Now... how am I going to do it with 1 more... with lots of prayers to get me through the day!! And some caffeine to go with 'em.

And hats off to all you other Moms out there. Most of you do more than I do and I continue to marvel at you and what you can do in a day. Most without Husbands around until dinner time... or even later. You are amazing and you inspire me. But I must say... we have the GREATEST job in the World!!!!

gotta go.... the phone's ringing!!!!

goodbye routine, I'll miss you

2010-07-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

(Pregnancy posts are getting old, I know. But I have to keep a record of all of this, especially since this will be my last time doing any of this again... I hope.)

the days of 3 kids are going by in an instant. I can hardly remember life with only 2 kids. And in due time I will only vaguely be able to recall life without 4.

There are plenty of times that I am more than grateful that this pregnancy is almost over. Times like standing up after sitting for long periods of time, when my legs forget to work right and when the pain in my sciatic nerve shoots all through my body. When I wake up at 4 in the morning only to be unable to fall back asleep for 2 hours for no good reason. Its just a quiet house, a dark room, scattered thoughts and a bulging belly. But then there are times when I look down and pat my round tummy and think to myself that I am in no hurry for her to be here. That I am just fine with her inside. Inside she is safe, she is quiet. With her inside life can resume in its normal fashion. And if you know me and know how much I need schedules and routines you'll know that disrupting our Family's "normal" is hard on us all.

But sure enough, in 21 days to be exact, we will rock our schedule out of the water. A routine will be a thing of the past as I will now be thrown into someone else's. Someone who will have none. She will sleep when she wants to. She will eat when she needs to. She will cry (and if she's like my other 3 she will do this often) She will need to be held and rocked and comforted. And thats what I suspect I will do for her. I just hope that I can do what I need to do for everybody else.

So here's to simplifying. Here's to going with the flow and to schedules thrown completely out of whack. Here's to relinquishing control. This will be interesting. (but im sure going to relish in it all for another 3 weeks)

Dear Baby

2010-06-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

First off, Im sorry that you dont have a name yet. Its not right, I know. In some ways and at some times it makes me feel like Im failing you before you're even here. Like a huge part of you, that I am suppose to be in charge of, is being neglected. But I like to think of it differently. I like to think that you are so special. That the circumstances and figures of how you actually fought your way into being here at this time are so extraordinary. That means you need an extraordinary name. And I just need as much time as I can to be sure that I get it exactly right.

Secondly, we have really been through it. I started spotting with you at about week 5. It was so scary. But I think Heavenly Father knew that I needed those scares to help me to see that you were a blessing from Him. And that I wanted so badly for you to be healthy and present in my growing tummy. That spotting was monitored closely for weeks, 20. Finally it ended for good. We have been in and out of the ER, Hospital and Lab's several times. I have been poked and stuck by needles probably 20 times. Throwing up so much has been hard on me but I know that its hard on you too. Yes, we have really been through it together.

But the finish line is in sight. The prize is you and I know that all of those hard pregnancy moments will all too soon vanish as I hold your tiny head in the crick of my neck. I dream now of you. I love it. I am holding your tightly swaddled body against my chest. You have on nothing but a tiny diaper and a hospital band. I stare at you without blinking an eye. Marveling at how this all came to be. So yes, its here. I am excited. Officially excited. And I can not wait to kiss your soft cheeks, im sure they'll follow true Wirthlin suite and be round and plump. I cant wait to stare in awe at your tiny, wrinkled feet and to stretch out your long, skinny fingers as I wrap them around my own.

See you in 5 weeks baby. We can do it!!!

Love,

Your Mommy

Olivia is 21 months

2010-06-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

My baby is almost 2!? When these sorts of realizations hit it makes me relieved that I get to enjoy these fun stages again. I love these kids and they are growing up all too fast. Im not ready to never have another 1 year old... good thing because in 6 weeks this little girl with no name yet will be here.

Olivia is a pure and absolute joy. She's now loving Nursery and will cheer during the week as she raises her arms and shouts "Nursery!!!" She loves Sister Lundell and the other leaders. And she loves all of the baby dolls. As soon as I say the word "Nursery" she says "babies"

Olivia is a major lover. She walks up to her Siblings (and Dave and I) each day, numerous times, and asks for kisses and hugs.She will not go to bed without running up and getting a hug from them. She pats our heads. She holds our hands. She loves to love us all.

Her World revolves around Luke and Ella. They are her favorite things in the World. She wants to be where they are and do what they do. She thinks she is the same age as they are and hates to be reminded that she's simply not!

We love you Olivia.

We love Daddy

2010-06-20T21:11:00.001-07:00

Happy Fathers Day!!!

2010-06-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

In all of my imaginations I ever had about what my future Husband would be like I never dreamt that he could be the kind of Father that Dave is. Totally unselfish, devoted, patient, loving, silly, committed, involved and totally invested. He gets up with babies without a single nudge from me. He changes diapers before I even know it needs to be done. He puts kids to bed each night because, evidently, he can do things that I can not. And his love is evident in how the kids look at him. They adore him. Its out of control, how enamored they are with him. And its about to happen again with baby #4... another one will soon be smitten. Another one will want Daddy to make the grilled cheese because he does it best. Another one will want to snuggle with Daddy while watching a show.

As lucky as I am to have Dave as a Husband I feel that my kids are even luckier. They have a great gift. They were blessed with the best Dad in the World. And that will be a driving force for good for their entire lives. That fact will make them better people and help them to reach their full potential.

Happy Fathers Day Dave. Thank you for all that you do for our little crew. We love you so much!!!

"Dads the best Dad because he is the funnest and funniest Dad in the World!"-Luke

"Dad's the best Dad because he gives me stuff sometimes. And because he's beautiful!"- Ella

man, oh man.

2010-06-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

Dont let this girls inviting eyes deceive you. She is trouble. If left alone in her room too long she will find a pen and draw all over a brand new Pottery Barn bunk bed, matching night stand and eventually even work her way to the duvet cover. Don't have a clue what possessed her. She is about as smart as a whip and knew exactly what she was doing.

I swear I give her plenty of attention. Don't I? I try to. I fear she may drive me clinically insane.

but she is beautiful.

and I do love her.

It begins

2010-06-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

The past 2 nights were the first, of Im sure weeks, of interrupted sleep. Bathroom breaks, turning, re-adjusting, waiting for little Miss to settle in, want of water, and then the big, terrible headache that just about left me in tears.

Im going in for round 3. Wish me luck.....

Temple flower planting

2010-06-11T19:13:00.001-07:00

Ella and Sister Findlay on Ella's first flower. I was not the greatest at bending down to plant so several friends were good enough to help Ella for me. Dirt and pretty flowers... Ella was in heaven!

Luke, Lance and Kyle (Lancer's Dad)

Our Primary had the greatest activity last month. We got to go to the Temple and plant flowers in the very front of either side of the entrance's. It was wonderful!!! We had over 100 Ward members there and everyone was hard at work.

Luke and Ella were so into planting, they all went strong the entire time, loving every minute. And Dave was a great sport as he chased Olivia all over the Temple grounds.

We are excited to go back soon and visit our flowers.

7 more weeks!?

2010-06-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, in 3 days I will have only 7 more weeks of being pregnant.

its hard to imagine that this baby is actually coming. That pretty soon I am going to have to start getting out newborn clothes to wash, buying baby soaps and lotions, getting an infant seat situated in our Honda Odyssey and sanitizing bottles and pacifiers. My heart is literally beating faster as I type this.

I feel so unprepared. It took almost 20 weeks to come to terms with the fact that this was actually happening and Im still wondering how we'll do it. When Im out at Target with my 3 little one's and Olivia wants to get out of the cart and run, or Ella is upset about not getting a certain cereal.... I imagine in my head the logistics of another baby. And I get scared. Really, truly scared.

Can I really do this? Am I prepared to handle 4 kids under 6 1/2? What will life's new day to day's be like? I get so nervous. I'd love to say that I have overcome my fears of this transition. I could lie and say that I cant wait for the chose that a Family of 6 will bring. That sounds harsh, I know. But the truth is I am terrified. I literally pray that I can be the Mom that everyone is going to need for me to be. That I can kiss every boo-boo, dress up every plate of food and wash every crease of skin. I pray that this baby, and my 3 others, will be able to be patient with me as I learn and that they will all know that I am trying my best. Because that I know. I will give it my all. These kids are too amazing and have far too much potential for me to let down. I know that I can and will love them all with every thing that I have in me. And maybe that's all I know. But no body can love these kids like I can. And I am truly excited to see what this little girl will add to our lives for Eternity. Because she's already such a big part of our crazy crew and we all love her so much already. That I can say. I love her. I totally, 100% love her, I can feel that love with every ounce of my being and that is what empowers me and excites me. And I hope that the Lord can and will increase my capacity to do all that I will need to for all of these beautiful babies of mine.

notice the wet hair? I need more energy because fancying is at the bottom of my list.

Soccer

2010-06-08T19:24:00.001-07:00

This was Luke's first season of Soccer. Okay... he had a 6 week spurt of it on a rec league in Parker last year. It was a joke. The Coach's were 2 volunteer Mom's who had no clue what they were doing. There were no instructions. No games. No structure. It was a total turn-off.

I really wanted Luke to have a good experience with sports, especially because they were a huge part of both mine and Dave's lives for years. We heard about this great league and decided to give it a try. It was fantastic, Im so glad we involved Luke in such a positive experience.

Luke came a long way with his understanding of the game and its rules. He got so much more aggressive in practice and his ball handling skills improved weekly. He was still pretty timid in the games but that's okay. I was just so proud of how far he came in such a short period of time. He even got a goal in one of the games... that was pretty cool for him.

He liked Soccer a lot, though now that he's recently discovered and fallen in love with baseball he's decided to put soccer aside for a bit. You can guess what Dave's thoughts were about that one!!! And Luke loved having his best buddy on the same team. I think we may need to start separating these boys a bit more.... its going to rock Luke's world to move next year.

This was a pretty standard pose for Luke. Don't worry buddy, its still there.

Luke and Lance concentrating hard in their last game. I love that when Luke's focused he sticks out his tongue.. just like when he was a baby.

Team Lightning

With all of Luke's reading, fact-memorizing and book writing Dave's Dad recently said, "Its a good thing your involving him in Sports too because he has the potential to be a major geek." So true Grandpa, so true.

Everything Grows....

2010-06-06T17:10:00.001-07:00

Especially Kindergartners.

Luke is officially a 1st grader. More on that, and my total panic attacks because it this fact, later.

His Kindergarten, and 2 others out of the 5 total that Mammoth Heights has, performed in the cutest program I have ever been witness to. As soon as they opened the curtain I saw this....

and I about lost it.

Then I saw this cutie...

and I was so grateful that I had my big camera to hide behind because I couldn't keep the tears back.

Man, can this kid rock a flower.

Even an out of town guest woke up early to see the show..

It was so fun to have worked in the classroom all year and to know all of the incredible kids in Luke's class. It has been everything I hoped this year would be and more. All thanks to this Teacher..

and plenty of these...

I really can not believe that this year has come and gone so quickly. Now I have to accept the fact that my little, and only, boy will be gone for most of the day (come August 4th) This fact kills me and heavily aids in the before mentioned panic attacks and tears. I have even had dreams about it, crying as I say good-bye to my Luke on his 1st day of first grade. Im hoping its just the pregnancy hormones... its getting ridiculous.

So farewell to a year that I know I'll never forget. A year of great growth, great friends, and great happiness.

Dave's Birthday surprise

2010-06-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

Im playing a bit of catch up.... here's a bit about Dave's surprise.

I love to surprise Dave. Its one of my favorite things to do. Having 3 young kids and not having Grandparents near by makes it hard to plan the sorts of surprises I really like. Overnight getaway's. So I was thrilled when my Sister asked me if I wanted to do an overnight babysitting swap. I knew this was my chance to do something unexpected for Dave's birthday. (and I knew Charity was doing us a waaaay bigger favor than we'd be doing for her as her kids are much older and easier than ours. I know Charity knew it too but she was a great sport about it all)

So, Friday came and Tyler, Charity's oldest, came over to babysit while we went out to Dinner. (wink) What Dave didn't know was that Charity was going to be at the house just minutes later to take over for the next 18 hours. After a nice dinner Dave was trying to get his Wifi to work. It was really slow. I non-chalantly mentioned that we'd better find a better spot to get reception because I didn't have a clue as to how to get to the Hotel. It took him a minute for that to sink in. It was fun to watch.

So after a few smiles and confused looks we were on our way here...

The historic Brown Palace Hotel.

This hotel has been open since 1892. I knew that Dave would appreciate the History and character of such an amazing landmark. And it was amazing. I couldn't help but to think about all of the people who had walked through those doors and what the city surrounding it had once been like. The hotel made our night away even more special.

It was a well-needed break from reality. And it came at a perfect time, right before the baby came.

Thank you so much Charity!!!! I think its so important for every couple to get away for a night to re-connect. We have tried to do it once a year, if only for 1 quick night. And I love it!!!! Especially the breakfast room service tradition that we have. It's the icing on the cake.

Luke's interview

2010-05-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

Luke was watching an interview conducted by our good friend Steve to his 6 year old, Lily. He thought it was pretty cool so he asked that he get interviewed too. Im not as fancy as Steve, or as digitally savvy, so this one will just be typed.

Mom: What is your favorite color?
Luke: red

Mom: Whats your favorite song?
Luke: Each of us is a flower

Mom: Whats your favorite book?
Luke: The Book of Mormon

Mom: Whos your best friend?
Luke: Lance

Mom: Whats your favorite subject in School?
Luke: Whats a subject?... Science.

Mom: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Luke: A Pediatric brain Surgeon

Mom: Whats your favorite thing to do for fun?
Luke: Play sharks

Mom: Describe your Mom
Luke: Mom is so beautiful but not as beautiful as Ella.

Mom: Describe Dad
Luke: Dads really handsome but not as handsome as me

Mom: If you could be anyone, who would it be?
Luke: Greg, from Diary of a wimpy kid.

Mom: Who are you the most like in our Family?
Luke: Dad

Mom: If there was a fire and you could only take 1 thing with you, what would it be?
Luke: Water, so I could put the fire out

Mom: Whats your favorite treat?
Luke: Tofu-tie Cuties

Mom: Tell me something you like most about Ella
Luke: She has the most beautiful eyes.

Mom: Tell me something you like about Olivia
Luke: She's cute and silly

Mom: What are you most looking forward to about the new baby?
Luke: She'll be cute. And Im excited to snuggle her

Mom: What do you think about being the only boy?
Luke: Its good cuz I like it. I get to have all the girlfriends.

Mom: What are you the most excited about this Summer?
Luke: swimming lessons, because Im so good at it.

Mom: Who's the smartest person you know?
Luke: me

Mom: What do you want to know about or learn, that you dont know now?
Luke: I want to learn more about spiders

Lazy

2010-05-30T17:55:00.001-07:00

I am, admittedly, lazy. Its something I make a conscious effort to do better at... but then I get too lazy to do that too. Im not a big cooker, I'd love to bake more (but its so much work) it kills me to have to do laundry or to clean the house so I put it off until it becomes a big undertaking. That doesn't help with my motivation either. Though, eventually, bathrooms get embarrassing, toilets must be scrubbed, I run out of maternity clothes, which I seem to have few of, and I have no choice but to get up and get moving.

But today was a good day. I was determined to make myself, and my Husband, proud. I made a juicy meatloaf (not as good as Grandma's but Im working on it) and some fantastic cheesy mashed potatoes. One we were finished eating dinner I started on homemade banana cream cheese bars, which I've been dying to try. They're in the oven and in another 15 minutes I'll get started on my cream cheese frosting to smother on top.

So the house needs a little TLC and I am constantly reminded at how badly my pantry, among other things, needs organizing. But... Im taking it little by little. I think I have been mentally preparing myself for a hot Summer, 3 little kids to entertain, and dealing with all of the tiredness and aches that come along with being in your last trimester. It will be a crazy Summer. I will desperately miss having my Husbands help. I have been worried about it since November and its hard to believe its upon us.

So, here's to being more organized, less lazy and more patient. And especially to my banana bars.... please taste as good as Im hoping you will.

Dance parties!!

2010-05-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

These girls beg for dance parties every single day! And Mom delivers. Olivia has started to really bust her little moves (usually accompanied by singing along in her own language) and its pretty cute. She especially like getting up on her stage, or lego's case turned up-side-down. And Ella never holds back. She seriously will start busting a move in singing time at Church. Not quite appropriate for "Follow the Prophet." We're working on that one.

I Love being a Mom to 2, soon to be 3, girls. Here's to many more years of fun music and dance parties.

Happy Birthday D-love

2010-05-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

Happy 33rd to this hottie...

You are truly the greatest thing to happen to me. I am so, so grateful for you. Thank you for all that you do, from getting up with the kids in the morning to let a fat pregnant Woman get more rest, to always doing the dishes because you know how much I hate it. I dont know how you juggle life with a busy Family and your straight A (for years now) education. You amaze me on a daily basis. I could never do the things that you do. And you do them all perfectly!!! (except for the yard work)

Happy Birthday! We love you.

Cloth.. week 2

2010-05-24T15:46:00.000-07:00

This will be short and to the point.

Week 2. I am still loving the world of cloth, I mean it too. I am totally committed to this and wish I would have done it earlier.

The G diapers are no longer. Luckily I got the for 25% off so the resale makes it so that I wont have lost any money on them. I am grateful for them. They are the initial reason I started this whole thing. I just came to see that they were the one's that actually ended up being the most work. The regular cloth AIO's or pockets (my 2 favorites, and all I use) are even un-intimidating on the go. I just bring along my dry bag and transfer into my pail when I get home. No biggie.

Here are my newest find. Other than this Swaddlebee's I am still loving and using the same few as before. I adore them all and feel I have a great mix.

I use mostly one size snaps so that I can use them with the baby too, though I have a few sized to cut down on a bit of bulk. Luckily Olivia is so tiny that her clothes actually fit her better as opposed to some people's issue of having bottoms too tight.

So, I will let the cloth diaper thing rest for now. Life is good. I love not buying diapers. I am so happy with my choice to do this... and even Dave is now 100% on board. He was my toughest critic initially but came around after about a day or 2.... I knew he would!!!

10 more weeks!?

2010-05-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I am totally terrified that 10 weeks from yesterday we will be a Family of 4!!! Its gone so fast. So, so fast. I think that it took me about 25 weeks to come to terms with the fact that this was really happening but I can honestly say that, at this point, I am getting excited to meet this little girl of ours. I am especially excited to watch the kids interact with her. I love that they will have another sibling to love and to grow up with.

I have been feeling really great. I've still been able to sleep pretty comfortably, which means everything! Im nervous about School coming to an end soon, its going to be a hard Summer. Dave will be working on his comprehensive exams every single day, pretty much ALL day long. He has over 100 books to read before he takes his test, which will end up being about a book a day until September. Its going to be interesting to be entertaining the kids, taking them to swim lessons, and doing the normal day-to-day tasks in the heat of Summer all while in my last trimester, and without Dave's help. Im literally praying that I will have enough patience and energy to do it.

So cross your fingers for me that I can resume my sanity throughout these next 10 weeks.

Again!?

2010-05-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

It's been well documented, how well my baby girl sleeps. (I call her varying form's of "baby" as often as possible these days because pretty soon I wont really be able to rightly call her that) So when she had a terrible night last night, including waking up bawling 5 times through the night, my thoughts run away with me. I immediately assume she must be sick. This was more than teething, which she has also been doing, she was just sooooo sad.

So today I get in with the Doctor. I tell them I assume she has an ear infection. They get me in. My regular Doctor, who I know well and love, is not working and I must see Dr. Mark. This bum's me out but I assume there can be very little variance to looking into a 1 year old's ear so I agree.

I can tell that Dr. Mark doesn't have the same conclusion to a stirring baby as I do. "She didn't sleep well, huhh?" May have well just said, "You're wasting my time with this ear infection conclusion, paranoid Mom."

He looks into her ear and actually says, "There is a lot of wax blockage and I can't see what I need to. We can either irrigate it, which will really upset her, or I can just send you home with some numbing type drops that may give her some relief." I almost laugh. If I didnt care if he saw into her ear would I have gone to the trouble of bringing her in? By the way, they take her temp earlier in the visit and she has a fever. I think Im on the right track and ask that they irrigate it.

Nurse comes in. They irrigate it. She doesn't make a single peep, just touches her ear as the Nurse walks out and babbles. I assume she's saying" What the heck was that all about and why is there cotton in my ear?"

Doctor comes back in. Takes one look. "Wow... she definitely has an ear infection." Then the best part. "Im sure glad we decided to clean out that ear so that I could see this, its quite bad."

I dutifully thank him. Make an appointment for 2 weeks (with Dr. Gill) and, after a pleasant conversation with a few girls at the front desk (they know Olivia pretty well from her hundreds of visits in her 1st year) I leave with my prescription.

I am grateful for Mothers intuition, it rarely steers me wrong. And I'm even less of a fan of Dr. Mark. And I really hope my baby doesn't need to end up with tubes one day. I think this is ear infection number 6.

Cuz' she's just cute!

2010-05-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks Aunt Jenny for my new dress, it's pretty darn cute, huhh?

Kinda' awesome

2010-05-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that I sorta" love this? Probably... but I dont care. (Sorry Toyota but I love my Honda)

Cloth Diapers.. the beginning

2010-05-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

A few friends have asked how my big switch has been going. I thought I'd document it briefly (mostly for me) We are a few days into our new diapering and, though I never thought I'd ever say this... Im loving it!!! It is a lot easier and a lot less "gross" than I thought it would be.

I have done hours of research (there is so much to learn) and have decided on the below diapers. Im sure that over time I will have a few favorites that push their way to the top of my rotation but for now I truly love all 4 for various reasons. I think I have a great mix.

I have yet to have any leaking, even at night. And Olivia really likes them all. In fact, before I had my complete supply, we had to put a disposable on her at night. When I took off the Bumgenious and started to put the Pamper's on she actually got sad. Now Im sure part of it was because it was the middle of the night and she wanted to be back in her warm bed but I really do think she prefers the cloth. They are incredibly soft! (and so cute)

So, to sum up, Im a big fan. The storing and cleaning is a breeze and it in no way would keep me from continuing this new move (as I feared it may) I also cant tell you how giddy I get at the thought that I no longer will need to drop money on Pampers again!!! ( I should save, including start up costs on cloth, about $1000 on Olivia and $2000 on the baby by making this switch)

Cloth diapering is certainly not for everyone and I wouldn't try to convince anyone to do it. Im just hoping to track my journey and possibly encourage some, who have been thinking about the move, to see that they too can be successful in the switch. Trust me, there are several who think that I am crazy... but also plenty who have said they too have thought about doing it.

I am feeling pretty confident at this point, though I know there are still sure to be many a hiccup. I am excited to attend a free class in Denver on Saturday all about cloth diapering. I am amazed at how much there is out there for support in this venture.

Below are the 4 I have been using...

bumgenius organic AIO
Rumparooz G2- these have seemed the best for long nights

Gdiapers with biodegradable flushable inserts and cloth inserts. I only use the flushable inserts when out and about because I can just toss 'em in the toilet or trash. They will still only take 34 days to break down, as opposed to 500 years. Some people use the flushable liners all the time but that is a very expensive way to do cloth diapers.

DryBees Hybrid AIO. These are nice and trim with leggings or tighter fitting pants. The Gdiapers are super trim too (the most trim of them all)

My cute little gymnast

2010-05-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love this peanut. (check out the cute cloth diapers... I have lost my mind.. and I love it)

Mom's

2010-05-09T19:41:00.000-07:00

(cant forget this member of our Family...27 weeks pregnant with another sweet Daughter)

"Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.” Boyd K. Packer

Its easy to say why I love to be a Mom. These kids are my greatest blessing. Being their Mother makes me a better person. It is a sacred calling that I revere.

I loved this story line in the novel "The Invisible Women"

A rich man came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

There are many a day when I feel as though so many of the things that I do on a daily basis go unnoticed. But I know that the Lord sees. He see's everything. Each cut that I clean out, each bowl of oatmeal that I make. He see's me do my best to lead by example, to teach values, and Scripture. And nothing is too small for him to notice and to smile upon.

My Children are the Cathedrals that I am building.

"As Mothers we cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women."

buddies

2010-05-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

We moved here when Luke was 4. Almost the exact age that Ella is now. Its hard to believe that its been that long and yet that short. We have made many life-long friends and this has, hands down, been our favorite place that we've ever lived. We love the weather, the Schools, the Church, the neighborhood, the parks and the array of fun things to do. Above all else, we love the people.

As I watched Luke with 2 of his buddies yesterday I got sad. Very sad. It hit me that in just 1 short year he would be saying good-bye to some of the best and only friends he's ever known. Friends who he sits with in Church each week, friends who's homes he's been welcomed and invited into frequently, friends who he runs around playing freeze tag with on a daily basis at School. He has learned and grown so much from so many of these great kids. And they are a great group of kids. I imagine them all in a few years, hanging out with eachother in School, talking about cute girls and sports. And it makes me sad to know that Luke will not be there to join in. That he won't be growing up with these boys and girls whom I love so much.

I know we will move on to more friends and great experiences next year. I know this. But my heart still breaks a little bit. I want Luke to grow up with these kids. With these Schools and this support group of Parents and Teachers.

So all I can do is enjoy this time that we have left and to try not to let it get me too down. All I can do is hope and pray that we will be led to another home that we will love as much as we do Parker, CO. And all I can do is to be so, so thankful that we've had all of these wonderful friendships, experiences and memories. We have truly been, and will continue to be, blessed by our life here.

Luke, Lance and Caden... I'm telling you, girls are going to be doodling these boys names on notebooks in no time

19 months

2010-05-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

(having my editing software on the outs has forced me to be more careful behind the lens. There are a few things I'd have loved to do to this image but your so cute Im happy with just about every shot of you)

You are such a fun girl. I love days like today when its just you and I. These are treasured times that I know will all too quickly be eliminated from our lazy Monday and Wednesday mornings. Replaced by the sounds and chaos that come with a new baby. But I know that you wont mind. Because I have seen how in love you are with babies.

At 19 months you sure continue to steal our hearts. All of us. You spontaneously run to your brother and sister several times each day, melting them with your hugs and kisses. You love to be where they are and do what they do. You think that you are the same age. Seeing no need for such things as sitting in high chairs or boosters, eating with your hands (you always prefer silverware) or drinking out of sippy cups (thought Im just not willing to let you move up to the next stage there) You love to blow your own nose and wipe your own face. You even try to clean yourself in the bath. Yes, you try desperately to be just like Luke and Ella. And I love it!

You are still shy and a bit coy but you love to share your huge grins from a safe distance. As long as we are close by you are actually quite social and love to play with friends. At Church you always flirt with Kyle, Lance and Jackson Kirkpatrick. I think because they all look so much alike you dont care which one your making eyes at. I suppose you have a thing for blondes.

You are still a great sleeper and eater. Our best thus far.

Oh how your life is about to change sweet Olivia. But I know that you are going to be just about the sweetest, kindest, most loving big Sister there could be. And I know it will be one of my greatest blessings to watch you girls together over the years.

I'll miss you, my babies

2010-04-28T13:38:00.001-07:00

I hate to be away from you. Be good for Daddy. I love you. See you in a few days.

Spring, can you hear me?

2010-04-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

Spring is just around the corner. I can see it in its greenery on my Birch tree. In its buds in the gardens. It peaks its head around here and there with its warm temperatures. And then it will go ahead and disappear on me all together. Hiding underneath a new blanket of freshly fallen snow.

Please come back Spring. I need you. My kids need you more. Our grass is dying to have naked feet run on the tops of its blades. My camera is begging to shoot pictures of kids in t-shirts and flip-flops, sun dresses and frayed denim shorts. And, most importantly, my pale white skin is in desperate need of your glorious, tanning rays.

21 months

2010-04-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

When I did the math and realized that my 2 oldest would only be 21 months apart I never broke a sweat. I knew people who had kids much closer. I didnt think it would be that rough. It sounded like a great adventure. The truth was I was naive. I couldn't have known better. Because it was HARD!! The hardest time thus far in my life.

When I got pregnant Luke was 1. He was mellow, quiet, easily engulfed for hours by trains and shapes. By the time Ella came along life was much different. Luke was being pulled away from us by Aspergers Syndrome. He was hard. He was totally incapable of being flexible. My life revolved around him, his schedule and his moods. And to top it off I had a brand new, very fussy, baby girl. California, and any type of Family to help, never felt further away then it was back then in Chicago.

I remember sitting in my room, or in the car, and crying. Wondering if I was ever going to get through that time. Praying that I could have the strength and the patience to endure it. And knowing, all too well, that I was barely holding things together.

Those days seem like ions ago. Luke is a totally and completely different boy.Life is simpler (as much as its also more complicated) I have kids who keep each other busy for hours, can buckle themselves into their own car seats, who have learned to be a little patient, who can feed themselves and bath themselves. They will walk next to me in a mall, play outside without me while I do the dishes. The best part's I could have never seen back then. Having those 2 so close in age has been, without a doubt, one of the greatest blessing's we've ever had. I can not put into words how much they are a strength to one another. They are inseparable. They are best friends. Where one is weak the other is strong. They are a perfect fit.

So, as much as this age gap with Olivia and the baby freaks me out big time, I love to imagine the blessing they will be to each other. And to the rest of our entire Family.

Rubb a Dubb Dubb...

2010-04-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

3 Wirthlin kids in a tub....

The other day was so warm that I gave in and allowed the kids to all have a Popsicle. Any one who knows me well knows that I freak out about messes. I though this would be the best way for everyone to win. Plus it saved me from dealing with bath-time later in the evening.

I love Luke's ribs here. Nice Luke, nice.

Darn those popsicle sticks.

Luke turns 6!

2010-04-20T11:53:00.001-07:00

Im behind of event blogging. We have had a lot going on and I have been too lazy to post about any of it. And to top it all off my Photoshop is not useable right now and I hate posting pictures that I cant do any type of editing to, all I see are the flaws (bad lighting, over-exposed, not sharp enough... etc.) Well, enough of it all!

Here are some pictures of Luke's Birthday. Take 1, 2 and 3.

rather than a big party Luke really wanted a Wii. I have to admit, it's been a big hit with us all.

I always wished I had a Birthday during the School year, mine's in August, so that I could bring in a Birthday treat. Luke was so excited about these less than thrilling cupcakes. To him, they were the coolest things ever!!

this is part of take 2. We were in CA just a day after his Birthday so we got the Families, and a few family friends, together and had a little Dinner and cake. It was a blast. When's the last time you got this excited about a book?

Who needs an ice cream cake when you can have a vegan cookie?

Birthday take 3. He invited his 2 buddies, Charlie and Lance, to see "How to Train your Dragon." (I know I was off the hook for a party but I couldn't do nothing... its not in me.) They got Happy Meals after the movie and they're wearing their Viking hats from off of the boxes.

I let Luke dig into his cake. He thought it was pretty hilarious.

Luke had a great Birthday. Lots of cake, presents, family and friends. What more could a boy wish for?

24 weeks

2010-04-15T17:18:00.001-07:00

I'm really starting to pop!!! One morning this week I just woke up looking like this....

Oh the blessing and the curse it is to be sick so long. The problem? After not eating for weeks on end and finally feeling good, all I want to do is EAT!! Im hoping to chill out a little bit but I tell you, I am always hungry. I will eat till Im stuffed and within a hour I am in the kitchen again searching for another round. Its out of control. I honestly don't remember having an appetite like this with any of my others.

On a positive note I finally have the okay from the Dr. to go back to the gym. Only took 6 months!!! Uggh. So Im starting really s-l-o-w but starting none-the-less. Feels good. Even if I am too nervous to break much of a sweat.

By the way, this pregnancy needs to slow down. Its going way too fast and it scares me constantly.

Sweet Relief

2010-04-03T17:00:00.001-07:00

It's no secret that I have been terribly sick throughout this pregnancy. I know that I have complained more than anyone really wants to hear. At a certain point, when people would ask me how I was feeling, I would lie and say "fine" Because who wants to be met with Debbie Downer day after day? But at this point I feel fine, and I actually mean it, for the first time in months.

I am still on zofran but the difference is that it's woking again. I dont need to be on 3 different medications, as I was. And the zofran works for the entire dosage span, sometimes more. If I try to go off of it I get hit with the reality that this sickness is not over. That's got a simple answer though, stay on the medication. Feel human again. Eat. Join the rest of the World.

And o' how I can eat now.

I have cravings. I literally dream about jello. I want to drink Pepsi by the gallon (unfortunately) My poor Husband must make the 40 minute roundtrip drive to Rubio's for their Gourmet Chicken Tacos (which are to die for) I still don't do well with chocolate or sweets but I figure that's fine by me. I've never lacked in that department before so its probably a nice break for my body, and clearly for the baby.

So baby girl, thank you. Thank you for starting to give me a break. One that I know we were both due for.

P.S. I think you're cute!

O' how we love her

2010-03-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

My head is still spinning. My baby went into Nursery yesterday. That can only mean 1 thing. She is 18 months old!! It has sure snuck up on us.

Olivia is just about the sweetest thing ever. She loves to hug and kiss. She's a little shy and a little reserved. A clever little thing and as smart as a whip. She's fun, silly, cheerful and full of joy.She is really starting to use a lot of words and makes it very easy for me to know exactly what she wants and needs. She's never really one to throw a fit but when she does its so out of character for her that I cant help but to laugh.

She absolutely adores being outside, more so than any of the other 2. She is content to play out back until long after the other kids have frozen and good sense has told them to come in. We end up needing to carry Liv inside as she cry's, hands cold as ice.

She adores water and had a blast with Papa last week in his pool. I think she could have splashed and played in the warm sunshine for hours.

O' the things I could say about our amazing Olivia. But I will spare you all of my never-ending gushing and adoration. I will just say that she is one of the greatest little girls there could be and I am so privileged to be her Mother.

Just a cute little story. When we were in CA Olivia and her Papa had a little greeting going, just between them. When they would see each other they'd each stick their tongue out and make a silly sound. We thought it was pretty funny that she'd do it so consistently each time she'd see Papa, and only Papa.

Fast forward to yesterday. Olivia saw my Dad for the first time in almost a week (he was here with the Wilkins crew on a ski/snowboarding vacation up in the mountains) The moment he walked in the front door she immediately smiled and, without missing a beat, did her part of their secret greeting. Pretty cute. And it warmed my heart knowing that she could so strongly feel the bond she has with her Papa already.

She is still our little peanut at 20.5 lbs. (5%) and she's 31 3/4" tall (50%)

This is my favorite. Its a typical sight at our house. Though, usually, Olivia is pushing her suffocating siblings out of her way.

Dear baby girl

2010-03-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. Starting it out by throwing up wasn't great but you're well worth it. Or, at least, you'd better be.

I got to see you. Most importantly, I got to hear the words that I have been waiting to hear. Not that you were a girl, though I was thrilled to hear that. Not that there was only you in there, which I was thrilled to hear too. No, the words were that you looked just as you should. Strong heart. Great developments. Perfect sized everything. Yes, at this point you are perfect. And hearing those words couldn't have made me happier or brought more relief.

There were other joys. Watching you reach for your feet over and over again. Wondering if you would still love to have your hands by your face after you're born. I loved watching you move around on screen and feeling it at the same time. And I loved that your sweet Brother was with me to see it all.

So today marks another day that more excitement builds and builds. Today was a great day!!!

It's a .......

2010-03-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

We found out what we were having a few weeks back. Sorry to disappoint but I had to know. And I couldn't be happier about our choice to know. I needed it. We all did. And now that we made the announcement to our families here in CA we can spread the word.

We couldn't be happier to announce that we are having a....

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I can't stop smiling about it.

Happy Birthday Luke

2010-03-11T18:44:00.001-08:00

Well, its finally here. The day you turned 6. You have been anticipating this birthday for months. In fact, its been even longer. The day you turned 5 we came home from your party and, upon tucking you into bed,you looked up at me with your green eyes and stated "Now Im almost 6!" Im not sure why the appeal to this particular year but I think its because you knew that 6 was going to be magical. Your best year yet!

You are all things good and pure and perfect. You are honest, kind, hopeful, passionate about learning, humble, joyful, happy. You pull people to you without saying a word. There has always been something about your spirit. I think people, young and old, find themselves wanting to be around you. You have a honesty in your soulful eyes which leaves people wanting. It is very common to hear people say, "I don't quite know what it is but I just love that boy of yours. He is something special."

You love to read and to learn. Every day you ask millions of questions. You want to know how deep the Ocean is, how hot the center of the Earth is, what tuna fish eat, what a "foul ball" means, why Dinosaurs are extinct.... everything! And I can not appease you with my quick, thoughtless guesses anymore. You want the facts and you will research them with me until you feel you get a satisfactory answer. If I had a quarter for every time I heard you say, "just check on you tube" well, I'd be sporting a much more fashionable wardrobe these days, thats for sure.

You are a sweet Brother and Son. Last Sunday, while walking together up the path to Church you asked me, "Mom, why are you so beautiful?" To which I replied, and meant sincerely, "because I get to be your Mom. You make me beautiful"

The other day you asked if the baby could sleep in your room. I told you that maybe we could do that, when it got a little bigger. I explained to you that the baby would be waking up a lot at night for a few months and that we would keep it in our room so that everyone else could sleep better. You stated, without hesitation, " Mom, if the baby cries I will just wake up and go over to it's crib. I will rub its back and whisper that everything will be okay. The baby will stop crying, I will go back to bed, and you won't even have to get up!"

You always tell your Sisters that they are beautiful. You ask Ella every day after Pre-School if all the girls were nice to her. You come into bed with me in the morning and hug me as I wake up. You are everything good about having a Son.

Your greatest desire is to be good and honest. You thrive on obeying and following the rules. You take Choosing the Right very seriously. You are peaceful and helpful. Silly and optimistic.

I love you so much and could have never dreamt up a more perfect boy for us.

Happy Birthday. I hope this year is everything you'd hoped it to be... and more!!

Wasn't this day just yesterday. I blinked an eye and 6 years went by...

kids

2010-03-06T17:41:00.001-08:00

I love this picture. It reminds me that these 2 kids actually really do love each other. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I think they forget. But they do, they really do.

I am excited to see their relationship grow over the years. I envision Ella giving Luke advice on how to talk to girls, or telling him how handsome he looks before a big date. I imagine Luke comforting Ella after some boy breaks her heart, telling her that he was never good enough in the first place. I know that there will be lots of bickering and arguing but I also know that there will be more love then I can even imagine.

Everyone should have a big Brother like Luke. Im grateful I do.

And here is my little princess. So full of personality, so full of joy. She makes me smile everytime I look at her, not an exaggeration.

She has loved discovering her independence. While we were at the Park today, and just about every day this week, she was all smiles. Running every where, jumping on the bridge to make it shake, laughing as I pushed her higher on the swing and trying with all of her might to climb up the slides.

I just love this little Liv of ours more words could ever express. She lights up my day in a special way, in her own little abundance of ways.

I can not believe how blessed we are. We have these 3 incredible Children. Hard for me not to get excited about what's coming this Summer.

Big day

2010-03-04T14:01:00.000-08:00

I had to post about this as it is surly blog worthy.

Ella is taking a nap. For the first time in 7 months. This is a big day.

She has been in desperate need of a nap each day for months. She should have never stopped. She gets grumpy, bossy, emotional and way to sassy. She has been sleep deprived.

We shall see how the rest of the day goes now. Im optimistic. She's now been going strong for almost 2 hours. She and Olivia both.

Now if only I had the energy to have gotten the house cleaned or the laundry done. Alas, I am to tired from chasing Olivia around the park this afternoon.

I love you today!!!! Sun, friends, park play, picnic lunches and naps. Does it get any better?

Its March?!

2010-03-01T07:47:00.000-08:00

How did this happen? February always seems to sneak by, it being such a short month. Now here we are.

In Primary yesterday we announced upcoming Birthdays for the next 2 weeks, as we wont have our regular meeting next week. I was totally shocked when they called Luke up to sing to. Could it be? Is his Birthday already here? I was blown away. Sure enough I will have a 6 year old in 10 days. Cant believe it. My head is spinning.

Its also a little scary because this all means that, due to my induction date, I will have a baby in 4 months. July will be a BIG month. I guess, since its the very end of July, I really have more like 5 months. But still. March to July... too soon. This pregnancy can slow down a bit, Im sure it will and that I'll be begging for it to speed up. For now? I am not ready to even think about another newborn.

The good news is that we will be in CA in less than 2 weeks. I am really excited about this trip, more so than any of our others. I think with being pregnant and the kids feeling so big lately I am ready to be around Family. I am also ready to have a break form this Winter, it has felt like a long one.

Welcome March. Im pretty happy to have February over. A few more months till Spring!!! I hear the playground and picnic's calling our name.

To know or not to know, that is the question

2010-02-25T10:57:00.000-08:00

So we have already had a couple of ultrasounds where we could have been able to know thIs babies gender. When the Ultrasound tech said she could tell right away what it was it got me thinking that this baby may actually be a boy. The ultrasound tech convinced me that "knowing" right away didnt mean it was a boy. I suppose it just means that she's just good at her job.

I have been struggling to make this decision. I am actually totally fine with not knowing what the sex of this baby is. Dave has no interest in waiting but is willing to support me. Part of the problem is that I am so okay with not knowing. That sounds funny but in a way I feel like I have been a little unattached to this pregnancy. Having this all happen so unexpectedly and then all this sickness hitting.... its been rough. I honestly still feel like Im coming to terms with it all, and its taken me a long time. Longer than I'd like to admit.

Part of me wonders if I should find out, if not to get a little more connected. Does that make sense? That knowing the gender may help me to close the gap I feel right now.

We'll see. I have my big 20 week ultrasound in a few weeks so I have time to decide.

To be totally honest I think both Dave and I would like another girl. Drama and all. Dave loves having his 1 boy, so do I. I love the thought of always having girls around. Plus Luke is the perfect boy to be surrounded by little Sisters. A boy has a ton of pluses too.... Ella really wants a little Brother. We cant go wrong either way, which also makes it easy to not find out.

Dear baby...

2010-02-24T19:00:00.000-08:00

We got to see you recently. You were "photogenic" as the Dr. said. That meant that the fluids were very dark which, in turn, meant that we could see you very clearly. I dont know who had more fun during the ultrasound, you , Mom and Dad, or the technician.

You were moving like crazy, waving your hands, kicking and opening and closing your mouth. Quite the showman (or show Woman as I still think)

It was so reassuring to see you doing so well. After all that we've both been through I have been on edge, hence this ultrasound.

You're a good baby but I'd really appreciate it if you could do your best to help me feel better soon.

(and o' how easy it would have been to have seen your "parts") What do you think, boy or girl? Luke say's girl but Ella says Boy. I say Girl and Dave claims he has no idea and will therefore not make a guess.

Dave

2010-02-24T09:01:00.000-08:00

We are not cheesy people. Its not us. It wasn't my Parents either. This will be short and to the point with as little cheese as possible.

I wanted to thank my Husband. He is amazing.

Thank you for going out almost every night to get me food, because I cant cook these days. And because nothing sounds good long enough to even ask you to cook. Im sure you long for real food every night. Im sorry.

Thank you for not being upset or annoyed after you get back with food and I eat 4 bites and then throw the rest away.

Thank you for bringing up medication in the middle of the night, even though sometimes you were asleep and it took you 2 hours to get that way.

Thank you for letting me sleep in because upon waking up I feel nauseous. I know you're tired, even more so than I am. But you do it any how and you dont mumble or try to make me feel bad.

Thank you for going to the ER with me even though I am asleep most of the time and you have a hard chair to sit in with nothing to do.

Thank you for rubbing my feet, my back and my shoulders every single night. I know I never return the favor.

The day I found out I was pregnant I called you into the bathroom and cried on your shoulder. You took no time for yourself to process, all you did was hold me and tell me that this was going to be fine and that we could certainly do it. I know you were in total shock but all you cared about was making me feel better.

Thank you for doing the dishes almost every day.

Thank you for cleaning the toilets right before I throw up so that it will be clean for me.

Thank you for coming home from a long day at School and letting me be the one who gets the break.

Thank you for making this so easy to write because you are amazing and never cease to make me wonder how I got so lucky.

I love you so much. I know I dont show you very well right now but I hope you always know it. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and almost every good thing I have in my life is because of you. (ok, that was cheesy, sorry)

update on, well, me.

2010-02-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Me today, taken with crummy iphone. I am almost 17 weeks.

So here's the newest on me and this pregnancy.

I am coming up on 17 weeks pregnant. I have been in the ER twice in a 12 day period of time. Too much throwing up. The second time I was so set on not needing to go in. It was mind over matter. I would drink an ounce of water only to lose it shortly thereafter. Matter was winning. Once again, I felt defeated. After about 22 hours of not keeping anything down I knew I had to go in. For the baby. Because if it were for me I would have just sucked it up and kept on trucking.

Dr. thought it may be gall bladder problems. We were going to order an ultrasound on it. I went in today to discuss with my Dr. that she no longer felt it was fitting into the profile of Gall Bladder problems and that we were putting that on the back burner. But she was worried. I had lost 8 lbs. in 2 weeks, which isn't at all unheard of, but in your second trimester losing weight becomes a scarier thing.

Doctor put me on a third medication today. I suppose its okay, as long as these things are working, or will work. So far I see the best results from my 8mg of Zofran, but I can only take that one every 6 hours. I need it every 4. I have another that lapses with it but I dont see the same results. Its a bummer. especially at night.

I had some more blood drawn. They're testing my thyroid.

The worst news is that if things dont start changing within the next 2 weeks they will make me got my nutrients through a tube. Anyone out there had to do that? Im worried about it. Im doing my best to avoid that route at all costs.

This baby had better be good and cute. And like being in a car seat.

And after a few more ultrasounds Im still going strong on not knowing what we're having.

Pregnancy and me

2010-02-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

This has been my hardest pregnancy. A whirlwind of up's and down's, testings, ultrasounds, sickness, being tired, lack of any energy at all, the red light on any sort of exercise. Its been a tough one. But its ensured us both that it's our last time doing this.

I have hardly had any cravings, other than that of nausea medication. Does that count? It seems that the things I have wanted I eat over and over again. Eventually I get sick and, well, there goes ever wanting that again. Last week it was a Costa Vida salad. I love them. Especially the kick of the dressing. As I got the flu, that eventually landed me in the ER for 5 hours, the first thing I said to Dave was "Crap. There goes my love for Costa Vida." And sure enough, after throwing up about 15 or 20 times (sorry if thats too much information), I dont know if I can ever attempt its deliciousness again.

There has actually been a funny change. Rather than crave things I have mainly just lost the desire for certain things. Example. I love Pepsi. I have tried and tried to kick the habit and I just cant seem to do it. Over the past months a funny thing has happened. I dont want it. I dont really want anything to do with it. Now this may be one of the first things to go as, eventually, Im feeling better. For now, I don't drink the stuff, there's simply no craving. The only thing I want is this

With this pregnancy I almost feel as though Im getting sicker the further along I get. And its a sun up till sun down sort of thing. In that way this pregnancy is much more like the one with Luke. And though I still think its a girl I sat in my 5 1/2 hour meeting today all about boys and it made me imagine it. Another little boy. Its hard to wrap my head around for some reason, maybe because its been girl after girl. I think I've gotten use to the idea of a house full of dresses, bows, plastic heels and nail polish. But, like I said, this has been a very similar "boy"pregnancy. And Im hoping that, like with Luke, one day very soon I will wake up and all of this sickness and exhaustion will have vanished with the night.

But I hope my Pepsi addiction is cured forever. That would be a nice result.

Thoughts

2010-02-10T18:15:00.000-08:00

My house is quiet. I have learned to love that. Stillness. The peace that comes from a noiseless hour. I have become my Father as I hear myself say, "Turn off the TV, its just noise." There are times when I can't stand it. Having the TV on, the chaos that comes from scene after scene of, well, pure noise. It gives me a headache. Im getting old.

All 3 kids were in bed asleep by 5:45pm tonight. But thats another blog post in and of itself. "How my life has been altered by virus'. "

Dave's in class. How I still love the way that he lights up when he talks about School. Writing. Teaching. He astounds me. He works so hard and puts in so much of himself. I dont know how he does it all. How he manages to be at the top of his game, and I really mean he is at the top, academically, How he works on and continually tunes his talent of writing, how he manages to take care of us all, even making dinner most nights.( man did he ever luck out in that department) He is the apple of our Children's eyes. They know him. Really know him. Because he gives them almost every piece of him on a daily basis. Yes, Dave is an anomaly. I hope that I can be like him, can love like him and serve like him... one day. He truly deserves every good thing that comes his way.

And now its just me. Sitting here, thinking of my life and how blessed I am. Wondering how it all came to be, how I have been so blessed. Thinking of this tiny baby growing by the minute. This opportunity I have to be a Mother to another incredible spirit. I think of how lucky this baby will be to have 3 other siblings, what a blessing that they will all be to each other for their entire lives. As much as I feel that we have a lot to offer another baby in the way of Parenting, I mean we're pretty fun and awesome, right? I still feel that the bigger blessing are these 3 kids that this baby will join the rank's of. They are everything. Smart, caring, funny, empathetic, kind, silly, athletic, beautiful. The make up of our Children baffle me. I can not wait to see what #4 brings into the mix. And I can not wait to watch them all grow together. Being the younger Sister(In my mind... but we're still not finding out) to Luke, Ella and Olivia is going to be one of the greatest gift's that could ever be given.

And now I go to enjoy the quiet once more. Actually, isn't Modern Family on soon?

Photo website

2010-02-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

I am going to try to keep a more updated site with some of the photography that I have been doing.

Check it out at www.photojill.blogspot.com

This is current, as of the past few weeks, and I hope to add new images after each shoot that I do.

Funny Ella

2010-02-01T16:53:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about my Ella a lot recently. Mostly because she is just getting to be such a wonderful little girl. She is the best friend of any little girl I know. How a barely 4 year old and has the sensitivity that she does is beyond me. I love watching her interact with all of her many friends, and everyone is her friend (whether they like it or not) She will literally walk up to little girls at the mall and start up a conversation, which usually consists of some type of compliment on their clothes, shoe's or bow. And it always ends with a big hug. She is so sincere that she hasn't gotten snubbed, or punched, yet upon giving strangers hugs. She truly has the motto, "there are no such things as strangers, just friends who you haven't met yet."

Ella is really funny and silly. She's got a memory that I can not believe. She will hear a song or some line from a movie and will have it memorized right away. She's like her Uncle Ryan in that way! She's also learning to read words and write and does so pretty well.

We just love this cute, sweet, and sassy girl. She's quite a character and I am so happy that she's in our Family for Eternity because a day less wouldn't do!

This is just a short little video of Ella doing a "I won" victory dance. She beat Olivia at getting dressed and was pretty excited. Contrary to what you may think in watching this Ella is actually a very good sport.

Olivia

2010-01-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

This is, technically, a terrible picture. Heavily side-lit, taken at a terrible time of day. But I still love it. I love the look on her face, it captures Olivia. Happy, sweet, her eyes sparkle and her smile is contagious.

We have been so blessed by this amazing little girl. She is a pure joy. She never cries(really, the Johnsons were here for a week and Jenny kept joking that she never heard her cry the entire time) She is the best sleeper I have ever heard of. She is silly, happy, compassionate and fun.

A few updates about our Liv.

She loves shoes. She wants to wear them all day long and gets upset if you try to take them off of her.

She wants to go as fast as she can. We joke that the only reason she walks is because she had to do it in order to run.

She loves her Siblings. She squeals with delight upon seeing them each morning. She loves to tackle, hug and kiss them. (She gets mad if they turn their faces during a kiss... it HAS to be a kiss on the lips.)

She loves mimicking. For example, in the bath she will grab the body wash, shake it onto the sponge, stand up and wash her whole body. Or she holds up the pretend camera to her eye and says, "cheese" (or something like cheese) She has always been such an intense observer and now we see why. This girl soaks in everything.

I love how easily she goes with the flow. I have never had a laid back baby before and, well, its something I could really get use to.

I am so grateful for our little Olivia. She lights up our life in every way. I know that, as crazy as it is to think about, she will be a fantastic big sister.

My Dream

2010-01-09T18:13:00.000-08:00

Had a dream last night about the baby.

It was a girl. She was blonde. She had my curly hair. I remember thinking how cute she was. And I was so thrilled that she was mine.

Woke up this morning. Actually marked day #1 of baby excitement. Excitement people, its happening.

(For the record I am fairly certain that this baby, is in fact, a girl)