Quiet

The house is silent. The only thing to be heard is the clacking of the keys on my MacBook Pro as I type and the humm of our stainless steel refrigerator. Luke is at Kindergarten, Ella preschool. Olivia is sound asleep in the walk-in closet of our bedroom where, a closed door and 10 feet away, Dave is the same. I had planned on going to the gym. Called in an appointment for Liv in the "infant" room, which seems such a far removed word for her these days. But the morning came and went and she wanted to go back to bed earlier than I'd anticipated. Keep her up? Most Mom's know the answer to that... no way! So down she went, as easily and happily as she does everything. And I could still go to the gym, there's no reason why I should chose not to, other than selfish indulgence. I chose to enjoy and indulge myself in this silence.

So here I sit. Feeling like I should be doing something productive. Maybe cleaning those windows in the dining room and kitchen that are streaked with little handprints, among other things I'm sure. Maybe throw some laundry in the washer or make a few calls which need to be made for one thing or another. But I chose to do none of that. I am enjoying this big, over-stuffed couch I sit on and being alone with my thoughts.

My thoughts... which are all over the place. I thing about how lucky I am to have this life I lead. I think about the things I strive to do better with and the habits, all to important, that need to be reinforced. My thoughts lead me to bills I need to pay and appointments I need to make, what book will I read to Luke's class this Friday afternoon, when will I make Olivia's birthday banner? I wonder what I should get done at my hair appointment on Friday evening and whether or not I am going to buy Luke a bigger book shelf to hold all of his many books that now pour out of his mere 2 shelves.

The quite does not seem to lead to any amazing epiphanies. These are just thoughts that go through every busy Mothers head each day. Some may think that this life, one of a stay-at-home Mom, is mundane and slow. Draining and un-fulfilling. But I sit here, in the quiet of my usually chaotic home, and I feel peace and gratitude. I am thankful for every single insignificant detail of this life of mine. From making doctors appointments to parent teacher conferences. And from vacuuming to trying to find "me" time that simply seems to not exist most days. With all the frustration and all the craziness that is my life, I feel joy. I love this life of mine. All of it, down to the last drop.

So I will sit here for a little while longer and take it all in. And then I will gear up for all the hectic hours which will surly come soon. And I will not go to the gym, though my jeans are begging me to.