Sunday, May 24, 2009

Weekend fun

We decided to take the kids and Bjorn to DU. Its a beautiful campus, especially in the Spring. We had so much fun running all over the place. Luke kept saying how excited he was to be big so that he could go to College!








This is the book that Dave got for a class while we were at the Library. Luke insisted on carrying it around the entire time.Dave started reading it to him Friday night for his bedtime story, after much pleading from Luke. I told him it would be dull. He didnt care. They are now on page 23. Yes, he loves PhD. required reading material. My crazy boy!

Our fun weekend

On Saturday at about noon both Dave and I were deep in a Lunch discussion when he came up with this....

The only problem is that there is only one of these even remotely close by. And its a hour away in Boulder. We sat for a minute, looked at the clock that already read 12:30pm, and said, "let's do it!!!" I had never been to Boulder and was looking forward to going someday. I just didn't realize that "someday" was going to be that day.

We had the BEST time. I think Boulder is one of my new favorite places and I can't wait until Megan comes to visit because that place can not be missed by visitors.

We just happened to be there when there was a ton of booths, tent vendors and even a carnival. I wish we could have stayed longer. The kids had so much fun and were all so good and so happy.



There was a cute little area for kids to climb around on a bunch of rock's Ella was in heaven!

we forgot our stroller so this is how Liv rolled the entire 2 1/2 hours. Its a good thing she's so tiny.

there were a bunch of street performers. This guy juggled fire and knives, among other crazy things.

this was my favorite part, a huge candy store with everything you could have imaged. New, old school... it was all there.

we were sure to do this last as it was chilly and overcast. Good thing because the kids were soaked, especially Ella. Surprise? I think not. Luke was karate chopping the water and ella thought it was way more fun to just run through the streams of water.

8 is great!

Somehow my Olivia turned 8 months old today. How that happened im just not sure. This year has gone by like a whirlwind and taken my baby along with it.
Here are a few bullet-points on my 8 month old.

- as of last week she now weighs 14 lbs. 3 oz. Still in the 3% but 14 lbs. sounds so much bigger than 13!
- She loves to be outside and is totally silent and good whenever we are. She soaks up her surroundings like crazy.
- she is a parrot. If I make a long sound, she copies. If i make a short sound, she will do the same. She is starting to copy a lot of sounds, "da" "ehh" "ma" "bah" "hahh", etc. I have a feeling she may just be a little smarty pants
- she is starting to crawl and drag herself all around. This makes me sad as I hoped she would give me another month (or 2 or 3) Crawling is my least favorite stage and Im a little sad we are here
- she is a total water baby
- she is feeding herself now and especially loves to feed me!
- Olivia is still a great sleeper. She goes to bed about 5ish and wakes up around 6:30am.
-She's content and sweet. Loves to snuggle and be held. When she is sad or upset the first thing she says is "mama" I think she'll be a mommy's girl. Though she lights up and giggles each time she even see's Dave.
We all love and adore this girl who is already brimming over with personality.

I am totally addicted to this girl.





I know this one is a little over edited but I loved all the colors so much that I had to do it.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Cancer sucks!

I wish it were not true. I wish that this was one bad, mean joke. But it is true. Every morning when I wake up it sets in. Its not a joke and its not fair. One of my best friends has Cancer.

I feel too much running through my head and it makes it hard to write about. I feel angry and I feel helpless. I feel like someone who spends months in the Hospital during her pregnancy and then delivers twin's 9 weeks early should not have to be here. Almost loosing your babies? That should be it right? Why is it that, of all people, she's going to have to deal with this too?
I know all the right answers. I know that she has been prepared for this, that we have a Father in Heaven who knows her and who will be with her every step of the way. My mind reflects on many of the "right" answers. "Right" thoughts. But sometimes I just feel like this. moapy and sad and left with too many questions. Tonight as I fall asleep I will think of Jenny. I will say a prayer for her, for her Husband and her 3 kids. I will ask Heavenly Father to bless her with renewed hope for tomorrow, for strength to recover from her terrible surgery. I will plead with Him to give her mental and emotional strength. But most of all, I will ask him to do whatever he can to help Jenny to beat this. And I know that she will. There is no one stronger.

I feel selfish to be thinking of me, as well as her, right now. How I feel and what I want. I know that this is all about Jenny. Its about how she's feeling and how she's doing. Its about how her amazing Husband can do it all and how so many loved one's are pitching in to do whatever they can. But I don't think she'd mind too much if I let myself be sad tonight. She's always putting others before herself.

As my good friend Jana always quotes, "Today was a hard day. Tomorow will be better."-from Lillie's Purple Plastic Purse.

I'll be strong again tomorrow. Today I just need to feel melancholy.

i told you she's amazing.





these were all taken at BYU Women's Conference, 3 days after she was diagnosed. I felt so lucky to be the one spending that time with her. It was an incredible weekend, one I will never forget. (and I dont know why these are so small. And I know Jenny will say that she is glad, so I wont fix them now. And I know she'll love that I put the one of her eating her BYU brownie up too. But come on, how cute is she?)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

Yesterday we were happy as can be. We got to get the pool back out in order to escape the 90 degree heat. The kids have a total blast and it keeps them busy and happy for hours. This means an extra happy Mommy!
Olivia is at such a fun stage. She really loves the water, maybe more so than even Ella, and loves to splash and play. She is so happy to be "big" with her brother and sister. But then again, she's always happy.











she's been doing this funny pirate face ting. The best part is that Luke use to do the exact face, I love it!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Its love

I hesitate to write anything down in regards to my feelings right now or details of what is going on. But I have to say something. Its what has really been going on with me. Its where my thoughts have been for weeks now. She's who I wish I could be with this instant.

But for now I will make this short and sweet. For now I will just say that I love this girl. She is, hands down, one of the best and most selfless people I have ever met. She has always made me want to try harder and to be better. I feel blessed in ways I can not explain to have her, and her family, in our lives. I am better because I know her.
(and yes, we are wearing matching shirts in different colors. We think we are that funny)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I love her!!!



She is the best baby I could have ever imagined.... I love her. She is silly, sweet, snuggly, happy, peaceful, loving, joyful and best of all? Mine forever!!!!!


I am grateful. Just so grateful.

I am extremely humbled at what I have.

So, recently, I do a few things differently.

I read longer bedtime stories without flinching.

My arms are a little tighter as I hug my kids.

My voice is softer.

I am more patient.

I try to get down on all four's and play "cat" with Ella.

I observe a little more lovingly.

I recognize that material things should not matter to me. Time matters to me.

I spend more time doing what the kids wold like, even if I am tired. Even if they want to go to the park to play soccer at 4:30 in the afternoon. Even if I am hot.

I cherish the time with Olivia in the middle of the night as her tiny body lay in my long arms.

I contemplate just how possible it is for me to have and to adore one more baby (though no time soon)

I work out consistently to take care of this amazing body that can do so much for me.

There are a few things I do differently, with more purpose. I try harder to be intentional as I love and raise my kids. I reflect more about the amazing Husband I have been blessed with. I appreciate this gospel and want to do better at living it more fully.

I have much to be grateful for.

Don't we all?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Day

My Mothers Day was filled with peace, sweetness, thoughtfulness, laughter and even a few tears thanks to a wonderful Relief Society class and the blessing of a righteous Bishop.

I awoke to a delicious Breakfast made by Dave. This feat was huge. The fact that he one, has Mono; and two, had to start it at 6am in order to have it ready and eaten before a 8:30am Ward, made it all the more meaningful. He is about as good as any Husband and Father can get.

Luke had proudly displayed his projects which he made in School and anxiously met me at the base of the stairs to lead me to them. He announced that he was also going to make me dinner for Mothers Day. When Ella awoke she gave me a darling cup, made at Pre-School and another gift which I will always remember. When asked what she wanted to get me for Mothers Day she thought long and hard. The Pepsi that she presented to me this morning was what she came up with, all on her own, she knows me too well.

As the kids, singing together in Sacrament meeting for the first time as they held hands, were standing in the front of the Congregation I suddenly heard a little voice.

"Hi Mommy!"

And a few seconds later, as the music was starting to be played,

"I love you Mommy!"

As the song went on I could see the frustration in Ella's eyes. And then I heard her whisper,

"I dont know this song!"

She was annoyed and upset. When she came back down she had tears in her eyes as she told me she didn't get to sing. I let her know that just seeing her up there smiling was about the best gift she could have given me. It was a close tie between that and the Pepsi.

And it was all summed up in a sweet bed time moment with Luke. I lay there with him, after his nightly story and prayer, and he held my face and told me to close his eyes. He then stated some lines from one of my all-time favorite stories.

"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as Im living
My Mommy you'll be"

And then a sweet kiss finished off the moment like icing on cake.

I love being a Mother. It is the source of my greatest growth and happiness. I know I was foreordained before this life to come to earth and to participate in the rearing of Heavenly Father's children. It is a great honor and blessing.

Though there are days when I feel overwhelmed or wish my Children were a little older and independent, I know that I will look back on these days and miss them terribly. I treasure these sweet moments with these magnificent, elect spirits. And I think to myself how happy I am to be their Mommy.

Friday, May 8, 2009


I wonder how my Mom told my Dad that she was pregnant with me.

I wonder how he felt and if there was a long, sweet kiss amidst smiles and jitters.

I wonder where she was the very first time she could feel my body moving inside of her's.

I wonder what my mom was feeling as she put a crib up for the 4th time, washed tiny baby clothes, prepared her 3 Children for the whirlwind that would be another baby in the house.

I wonder about the thoughts and feelings that were there in that car ride to the Hospital almost 30 years ago.

I wonder the look on her face and the way she felt as they exclaimed, 'It's a Girl!"

I wonder the first things that went through her mind as she cradled me for the first time.

Were there many calls made? Visitors come to celebrate?

I wonder what it was like in that room when my Siblings first met me. Did they rush the bed to see me? Were they anxious to hold me? Did my Parents look on with peaceful eyes at their newly formed Family that they created.

I wonder what sort of newborn baby I was. Did I sleep well? Eat well? Was I a Momma's girl? Or could I work my Daddy from the start?

I wonder what life was like for my Mom as she transitioned from a life of 5 to a home of 6.

Did the sounds of coo's and laughs melt my Mom the way Olivia's do me? Did she want to hold me often? Or was I anxious to be out of her arms exploring my new world.

What were her feelings as she watched me take my first steps? Did she call her Mom, excited to spread the big news? Was my Dad home from work or was it the exciting new trick she showed him upon him walking through the door that evening?

I wonder.

I wonder many things about the early years of my life. There have always been many I dont know. Things long forgotten by a busy Mother of 5 who hardly ever had a break.

I wonder how she dealt with all of our craziness. And there was always craziness.

But the best thing, the most important thing a child can ever know, was never left to my imaginations. Its something I have never and will never have to wonder. Its love. Knowing love and being loved and hearing loving things. I have a Mother who loves me. And she makes that love known, without a shadow of a doubt, every day.

There is no greater gift, nothing more that I could ever ask for from her. It is the reason why I lived the life I have lived. It is the reason why I married the Man that I married in the place that I did. And it is the reason why I can be, and strive to be, the kind of Mother I am. Love. In its truest most sincere form. It does so much more than anyone can really know.

So though I know my Mom wonders why she left so many memory books blank, I get it. I see why. Its because she was working and tending. Caring for and teaching. Reading to, laughing with, driving and picking up. She was hugging, kissing and singing. She was cooking for and cleaning up after, bathing and tucking in. She was busy cleaning wounds, doing laundry and mending torn pants. She was busy being the best Mom that she could possibly be to 5 little kids who probably never really appreciated it. Busy loving. And no child could ever ask for more than that.

Thank you Mom for never making me wonder about all of the things that matter most. I have always known. Always.

I love you.
Happy Mothers Day.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

O' Mister Sun

Welcome Spring, though you felt much more like Summer around here as you hit 80 degree's. We have loved soaking you up while playing in our backyard pool. Cant wait to see more of you soon, though tomorrow will be back down to the 60's... another reason we love Colorado. It always keeps us on our toes.

she was pretty much this happy the entire 3 hours they were out there.


My baby loves the water

Baby Olivia

Baby Olivia
bright eyes

My funny Ella

My funny Ella

My handsome Luke

My handsome Luke