Yes, you were a surprise. A surprise that took me weeks to come to terms with. It was never the thought of another sweet spirit coming to our Family that kept me awake all night long in those first days. It was my own selfish feelings. I thought about how I wasn't ready to do this again, how my plan was to wait. I knew that we would have another baby, I could feel it deep inside, but in my head I played it out perfectly. 3 year age gap, no new baby in this house, we'd be out of School and into a home of our own. You would have your own room which I would be able to paint perfectly, the Nursery that I'd always wanted. So you see, I had plans. Lots of future plans. I never dreamt that the future would so soon become the present.
I have already learned so much from you. First off, one really can become pregnant while on the pill ( I never believed half the people who said it happened to them, I now apologize for my doubts).
Second, you were meant to come to this Family at this time in this way. I know those reasons will become more and more clear to me as time goes on but I can not deny that Heavenly Father sent you here in His wisdom. Not only was I on birth control but the timing of when this all had to have happened couldn't have made it harder to get pregnant, even if I were not on the pill. Even the Doctor herself couldn't believe it.
And last, but not least, I know that there is someone much bigger in charge of our lives. That we may have plans for our life but that our Father in Heaven knows all and that He has bigger plans for us than we could ever know. And that if we humble ourselves and have Faith in him that He will make more of our lives than we could ever dream. I am so grateful for my knowledge that I have a loving Father who knows exactly what I need in my life. I know he loves me, that he knows me better than anyone and that He knows where this path will lead me. He can see 5, 10, even 50 years down the road. That knowledge gives me complete faith in Him and allows me to easily put my life in His hands to lead me and my Family through this journey on Earth.
So baby, amidst all of the initial scares and through all the many blood tests and nervous waiting, I always knew that you would be okay. I knew that this pregnancy would continue because I know that it is no accident that you are on your way to this crazy Family of ours. I know this is what was always meant to happen.
So baby, amidst all of the initial scares and through all the many blood tests and nervous waiting, I always knew that you would be okay. I knew that this pregnancy would continue because I know that it is no accident that you are on your way to this crazy Family of ours. I know this is what was always meant to happen.
6 comments:
Jill, I Just love you. This little baby is really so lucky to be coming to your family. You always inspire, uplift, and stengthen. Thank you.
That is so cool! You have an amazing perspective (even though it hasn't come easily). I can't wait to see this next little Wirthlin miracle!
Ha! I know what you mean about selfish reasons to wait! That's exactly how I feel...and yet...I think it's time again...NO I'm not prego...but you know...thinking about it.
I remember talking to you about this stuff at the soccer fields...isn't it funny/clever/wonderful how our plans don't really matter sometimes? that the bigger PLAN always does what it needs to do regardless of what we want? that's how it's been in my life so far...and i trust my heavenly father completely!
hope you're not feeling to icky!
Very Exciting Jill! I think the little surprises are always the best.
Another little Jill and Dave Wirthlin will be exciting to see. Who will he/she look like? What kind of personality will he/she have? He/she will surely be loved by parents and grandparents alike. So we're excited for #17 grandchild to enter this family.
wow congrats!!! more babies! that's so exciting :)
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