Friday, July 25, 2008

Too far away

836 miles. That's how far away I am right now from my little boy (and my big one too) 

This is killing me. I thought it was bad enough already until I just got the phone call. I can't quite tell you all that was said by my little 4 year old. He was sobbing too uncontrollably to totally make out the words. Here is a sampling of what I did hear.

"Mommy. Will you come to Colorado on the airplane tomorrow? Please Mommy. I just want you. I miss you. I don't want Daddy to snuggle me, I want you to do it. Please Mommy. I love you. I want you. Come to Colorado."

Luke is a major Daddy's boy. 100%. Has been his entire life and is to this day. It is a very rare treat that he wants me when he is hurt or sad. I never get to do bedtime's with Luke. That special time has been reserved for Daddy for many years now. I don't really even bother asking him anymore if I can do it. The answer is always the same, with no apology.

"No. I want Daddy to do it." 

So you can imagine how this phone call broke my heart into about a million pieces. I actually debated paying the extra money (that we don't have) and trying to fly out tomorrow rather than Tuesday.

After about 4 or 5 minutes of the hardest phone call I've yet to get from my Child I had an idea. 

"Lukie. Can Mommy read you a book?"

Silence for a moment. Maybe I was going to change things around.

"Ummmm.... Daddy already did it."

"Well.... Mommy has a book right here. I can read it to you over the telephone. It would be like I were right next to you, would you like that?"

Luke stopped all crying and I started out.... " Baby Bear, Baby Bear, What do you See?"

It was magic. I finished the last page, told him I loved him and that I would talk to him tomorrow. He perked up, said "thank you, Mama" and, in an almost cheery voice, "Goodnight."

836 miles away. Its just too far tonight. Tomorrow will be better. He'll be less stressed out, have less chaos in his day. And he will un-doubtably want his Daddy to do bedtime again. But I realized tonight, amidst his protests and constant desire for his Dad, he needs his Mom too. And I'm glad 'cuz I'll always need my Lukie.


9 comments:

Jana Heller said...

very touching jill, it made me cry. very poetic for the writers wife. fortunately the next 5 days will fly by for you guys. give me a call when you are free.

Holly Moore said...

Oh that is sooo sweet! What a good idea, by the way. I wouldn't have thought of that. How lucky are you that you have a sweet little boy who loves you so much. And Luke is lucky cause he's got a great mom.

Unknown said...

Okay, after watching Jenny's blog I sobbed and now I read this tender association between mommy and Lukie and I teared up again. Jill, you're the best Mom.
My grandson is so blessed to have such attentive parents who he knows loves him.

allypally said...

Oh, so sad!! I went to Utah last summer with Ellie and left Adam with Jeff, and the same thing happened. Late night phone call, little boy sobbing, it's the hardest thing in the world. I felt terrible! But he was all happy again with Dad in the morning, so hang in there!

Tiffany J said...

that's soooo sweet. Sometimes it makes me sad when I realize I will lose Brady one day...when Steve's schedule is a little more normal and Brady figures out just how cool his dad really is. I think it's great Luke made his first adventure with his dad on such a long trip! What a big step for such a sweet little boy who misses his mommy....while I"m glad you'll be reunited soon I'm sad because I know that means you actually have to go...and stay. We'll miss you!

Anonymous said...

I have goosebumps. So sweet, Jill. And so true. We all need our mama's...

Katrina said...

That is so sweet. I can't stand being away from my little ones either.

regibells said...

aww what a sweet post. Kids just get to be around us all the time that they take us for granted! ou are such a sweet momma. I love that you read to him over the phone. That just shows how much you love your kids and what a great mom you are! Good luck with the move. I hope I still get to see you.

Richelle said...

i love bill martin books! that is too sweet that luke was missing his mama. you are an awesome mom, luke is a pretty lucky kid.

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