Jenny Jenny Bo Benny

I realized recently that I never posted anything about my "girls trip" with Jenny. The funny this is, I think about that week all the time. I wanted to journal all about it. It was fun, it was silly. It was everything I needed. We shopped, we laughed,we sang, we laughed, we ate and teased each other. We screamed on rollercoasters and sung as loud as we could at concerts. We laughed some more and only cried once, for a moment. We were who we always are together. Not even cancer can take the sarcasm and giggles from us.

But I never did, write about it that is. Its hard for me even now to put words together about that trip. Im not trying to come across dramatic but its true. I think because, when it comes to Jenny, I feel too full and that makes it hard to come up with words, simple as they may be. Jenny is, and I know she'll hate this, a sacred topic for me. I think about her always. I imagine what she's had to endure thus far in her life. I go back to that phone call that I got from her on that Spring evening and I still feel the same shock that hit me that day. I try to imagine what I would do and how I would cope if it were me. And that is why Jenny is too special to me. There are the regular old reasons. All 100 of the reasons why I love her and have for some time now. And then there are the "C word"(as she so lovingly calls it) reasons. The reasons that have come about since I have been witness to her battle.

I had a conversation with my Dad recently, totally unrelated to this topic, and his words hit me. I know that there are times in our life where we endure trials in order to learn and then there are times in our life when the Lord, in his wisdom, deems us worthy to become, as he was, the teacher. Jenny.... she is my teacher. She has taught me more than I could ever imagine over the past few months. She has taught me self- reflection, how important it is to push my kids on a swing, how important it is to laugh, the true miracle of my life and that of my children. She has taught me such important, sacred things that I will forever be in debt to her.

I hope she forgives me for this post. She is the last person who wants attention of any kind aimed at her. And I know her greatest wish is for everyone to treat her the same as they ever did, to know that Cancer in no way defines who she is. But it has changed her, and everyone who loves her. And I hate that she has to be the one to take this on. To teach, like she is doing for me, so many others. But I am grateful to her for allowing herself to be just that, my teacher. For literally changing who I want to be on the inside. What a gift you have given though I feel selfish for taking it. And I love you. And I love your Family and I loved, I loved that trip with you..... even though you sang the same annoying word to a song waaaaayyy to much, made me shop until I was broke and almost blew us up in a gas fire.

I can't wait for next time!!!! O' and don't hate me for this post:)