21 months

When I did the math and realized that my 2 oldest would only be 21 months apart I never broke a sweat. I knew people who had kids much closer. I didnt think it would be that rough. It sounded like a great adventure. The truth was I was naive. I couldn't have known better. Because it was HARD!! The hardest time thus far in my life.

When I got pregnant Luke was 1. He was mellow, quiet, easily engulfed for hours by trains and shapes. By the time Ella came along life was much different. Luke was being pulled away from us by Aspergers Syndrome. He was hard. He was totally incapable of being flexible. My life revolved around him, his schedule and his moods. And to top it off I had a brand new, very fussy, baby girl. California, and any type of Family to help, never felt further away then it was back then in Chicago.

I remember sitting in my room, or in the car, and crying. Wondering if I was ever going to get through that time. Praying that I could have the strength and the patience to endure it. And knowing, all too well, that I was barely holding things together.

Those days seem like ions ago. Luke is a totally and completely different boy.Life is simpler (as much as its also more complicated) I have kids who keep each other busy for hours, can buckle themselves into their own car seats, who have learned to be a little patient, who can feed themselves and bath themselves. They will walk next to me in a mall, play outside without me while I do the dishes. The best part's I could have never seen back then. Having those 2 so close in age has been, without a doubt, one of the greatest blessing's we've ever had. I can not put into words how much they are a strength to one another. They are inseparable. They are best friends. Where one is weak the other is strong. They are a perfect fit.





So, as much as this age gap with Olivia and the baby freaks me out big time, I love to imagine the blessing they will be to each other. And to the rest of our entire Family.