Thursday, February 25, 2010

To know or not to know, that is the question

So we have already had a couple of ultrasounds where we could have been able to know thIs babies gender. When the Ultrasound tech said she could tell right away what it was it got me thinking that this baby may actually be a boy. The ultrasound tech convinced me that "knowing" right away didnt mean it was a boy. I suppose it just means that she's just good at her job.

I have been struggling to make this decision. I am actually totally fine with not knowing what the sex of this baby is. Dave has no interest in waiting but is willing to support me. Part of the problem is that I am so okay with not knowing. That sounds funny but in a way I feel like I have been a little unattached to this pregnancy. Having this all happen so unexpectedly and then all this sickness hitting.... its been rough. I honestly still feel like Im coming to terms with it all, and its taken me a long time. Longer than I'd like to admit.

Part of me wonders if I should find out, if not to get a little more connected. Does that make sense? That knowing the gender may help me to close the gap I feel right now.

We'll see. I have my big 20 week ultrasound in a few weeks so I have time to decide.

To be totally honest I think both Dave and I would like another girl. Drama and all. Dave loves having his 1 boy, so do I. I love the thought of always having girls around. Plus Luke is the perfect boy to be surrounded by little Sisters. A boy has a ton of pluses too.... Ella really wants a little Brother. We cant go wrong either way, which also makes it easy to not find out.

9 comments:

Montana Wilkins said...

I really like having two boys and two girls. It's fun even though my girls are almost 6 years apart. My sister and I are the same, and and as much as I love my 4 brothers, I'm so glad my parents didn't stop after my little brother was born!

As far as finding out, I like that you're waiting. In this day and age it's fun to have a choice. My brother doesn't like having someone else know if he doesn't though! I've actually considered not finding out the sex in advance if we have another baby. Sounds fun to do at least once.

I am rambling as usual. My point:
I think that you can find plenty of ways to connect with your baby if you wait until the moment he/she is born to find out the sex. However, if it helps your brain wrap around this little one coming, then find out so you can plan! My Luke and Rebecca are 19 months apart, so I know it can be an overwhelming thought!!! But Rebecca was so born at exactly the right time. It is amazing how that happens.
Good Luck!

Tasha said...

I think in the end you have to just do what you want. Find out or not. Everyone is different. For me I need to know. I stress over things too much. I need to plan. I need to prepare. I want to make and buy things. But, if you don't want to know then it can be very fun too. I have had friends do it and they loved it. It was fun to have the big surprise after the long wait and stress of pregnancy. Hang in there with everything.

Kim Harvey said...

I thought we weren't going to find out, but we are. Partly because we cant handle the wait, but also for the exact reason you expressed. good luck with your decision!

Judy and Mike said...

I think you should find out. It will help connect you and then you won't have to think anymore about waiting. You will already know.
I think you really want to anyway.

Anonymous said...

I always thought I would wait until the baby was born to find out the sex. My parents did and it seemed like so much fun. But when it came down to it, it was only fun because it was a surprise for everyone else. I really didn't care to wait until the delivery room to find out. There would be enough to marvel at then.

For me, I like knowing there's a little "girl" moving inside. I like being able to say "She's" moving. Or "she" has the hiccups. I don't fully bond until I know who is on the way. It's just a little more personal. Plus, I always guessed wrong and knew if I'd secretly bonded with a baby boy and brought home a baby girl, it would take time to mentally adjust.

Charlotte was the only baby we had named before birth and I wish I had done that with all the others! I LOVED hearing my kids pray at night for their "baby sister, Charlotte" to be born safely. I loved that they knew Charlotte was on her way to join us. They seemed closer to her because of it.

Anyway, good luck making the decision. If it calms you to know, find out. You will have enough to surprise you when the baby is finally born. :)

karen said...

I think its fun to keep it a surprise. I wanted to keep it a surprise but chris had to know.. Maybe when we are ready for more kids - we can keep it a surprise !! Or chris can find out but not tell me. That way he can buy clothes if its a boy since we got zillion girls clothes already. :)

Michelle- A look at our lovely life said...

Knowing the sex (with Claire) is what helped me realize that a baby was on the way. It got me totally excited. I don't think it will be one of your life regrets if you didn't wait until the end to find out with any of the four kids. I think it's an accomplishment that you've waited this long without knowing when your opportunities were right there.

KYoho said...

When we had our 1 and only ultrasound, as soon as the tech first put the monitor on my belly, it was blatantly obvious it was a girl, even to Jeff and I who'd never even seen an ultrasound. So girly parts can be really obvious too! I won't go into any more detail so as not to embarass my daughter....

Carly said...

If it were me, I'd find out. It makes all the difference in thinking about and planning for that little one to fit into your family. I agree with some of the other commenters that it would be fun for your kids too :)

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