Lukie's letter's

all I did was tell him which letters to write, he did all the rest by himself.

So proud... not to mention cute.

Luke did this all by himself. He's been practicing each letter individually so I thought I'd try to see what he did if I asked him to do them all on one paper, this is the result. Not bad for a boy who just barely turned 4.

Sorry for the spoiler, Grammie. This paper is on its way to you as of tomorrow. We were just so excited to share all of Luke's work with everyone.

A fun morning with good friends

We cant wait for more warm days at the beach. Each year with the kids gets more and more fun. I know this Summer will be the best! Especially because I actually get to relax and soak up the sun while the kids play with each other. Its strange to think that next year we'll have a baby again! Though Summers will be spent at the poolside rather then the shorelines.

Happiness is

...Having a best friend

Lukie and his best buddy, Bobby.

Luke-a-potoamus

Luke was in speech therapy right around the time he was 3. It was amazing. Not only did his vocabulary improve rapidly but his interactions, eye contact and behavior... it all started to make a noticeable difference within about a 3 week time period. It was a wonderfully exciting time for us all.

When Luke turned 3, and his care was turned over to the School District, they denied him the speech but put him in some other types of therapy. My speech therapist tried to help us plug for the speech but Luke was just blowing through their totally ridiculous "speech" tests. EX: "What is this?" Luke's reply, "a pig" followed with a "right!!" Ella could have passed with flying colors at her first birthday.... such a joke.

A little voice in my head kept telling me to get him back in speech therapy. We didn't have the money, its quite pricey, and so I dismissed it. Others also seemed to think he was so verbal and that he was doing just fine without it. So, I dismissed it even further. 

Every few months I kept feeling the speech plug, each time letting it go. Finally while we were in a session with a psychologist she brought it up. I jumped at it asking her if she thought so too. She followed up with, "I would pay out of my own pocket if it were my Son and I would make it my first priority." I almost cried. She saw it too and she validated a year of my fleeting yet consistent thoughts.

At his first few visits, where they did some evaluations, they confirmed that he certainly has receptive speech delays. Again, I felt like crying. I knew it all along and I didn't fight for my Son. I didn't listen to my intuition that I prided myself on being so in tune with. And now we missed a year of growth opportunity at this imperative time.

Things have been so wonderful for Luke in so many new and different ways since early March. He converses with me so much better, gets more involved and interacts so well with his Sister.

Yesterday Ella was being a grump. 

Luke said to her,"Ella are you feeling grumpy right now?" 

She replied, "yes."

 Luke stated," well, you weren't grumpy earlier today, when we were at home. You were happy."

Now that statement may not seem like a big deal but he has never spoken in past tense like that, relating one feeling to another from a previous time. I was all smiles.

Then the big one. This morning he said to me,

" Mom, I talk differently."

 I was worried, had someone from his School teased him about something he said or the way he said it? 

"What do you mean different honey, different from what?" 

"I use to talk like I was little and now I talk good like the big kids talk." 

I got chocked up. He knew. He knew he was doing something differently then the other, "older kids". He has felt the change in his language and knows he is improving and feeling bigger because of it. You can bet I am going to be a different Mom about the speech at his next IEP this next month.

Yes Luke, you sound different now. You are so big and so smart. I am so thrilled for you and love to see the excitement your eyes as you overcome your struggles. What a year it has been. I love you so much. We're in all of this together.

Dear baby....

Me at 17 weeks

Hi baby, 

I guess I could just say, "dear baby girl" or even "dear Olivia" but that's still just a bit weird for me.... don't know why.

Im starting to feel more at ease with knowing that you're a girl. Initially, when I discovered, I was really excited... especially because I wanted another girl so bad. But as I got home and for the next few days I was pretty disappointed that we no longer had the secret I was hoping to have. Im still a little bummed out about the whole thing but I am just trying to be happy and excited about all of the positives there are for knowing now, as opposed to in September. Like looking at all the cute baby bedding and clothes. Looking, not buying Dave.

I wish I weren't still feeling kinda' sick. What's this all about baby girl? I am 16 weeks along and still throwing up every so often? Now thats not very nice. Things have gotten better so thank you for that, but I think I have thrown up more in the last 3 weeks then I have in the first 12 weeks. On a positive I haven't gained any weight yet, until this past weekend with the girls in Palm Springs I'm sure! Though I have never felt worse then when I was pregnant with Luke. O' sweet Lukie, he still holds the title for worst and hardest pregnancy.

I am so grateful that you are growing and getting stronger each day. I have gotten to have 4 ultrasounds so far and have been lucky to see you so often. If you could do your part with the throwing up thing I'd really appreciate it. 

I'll see you again in a few weeks for another ultrasound... we cant wait, especially Daddy.

I love you,

Mommy

A hot Spring day

It was such a hot weekend here, almost 90 degrees. Luke had used some of his birthday money on this fun sprinkler a few weeks ago. He was so excited to get it down and turn it on. He was a bit reluctant at first but before long was running back and forth through the water with a huge smile on his face. 

Ella was not so sure about all of the cold, spraying water. Luke eventually grabbed her hand and she got up enough courage to go through it with him. It was so great to see that by simply holding her brothers hand all of her outward fears seemed to be calmed. Its amazing what a big brother can do for our confidence!

Watching our sweet kids care for and admire each other so much makes me really excited to add baby Olivia to this family of ours. These are the happiest parts of my days.

So here's to many more warm days filled with water fun and sibling love.

already an exhibitionist

I went in for a regular Doctors appointment today. I am coming up on 16 weeks and was scheduled for a typical visit.

 

Weight... check (by the way contrary to my worry about gaining weight in Europe I have actually lost 2 pounds thanks to throwing up and feeling yucky still) Blood pressure... check. Pee in a cup... check. Go into get an ultrasound to check on some past issues and see what I am having.... check.... wait, what?!

Thats right. The decision of whether or not to find out what I am having has been made for me. The moment that gooey covered instrument hit my belly there it was. A little bottom with a dark slit going one way, and another dark slit going in the opposite direction.

The saddest part was that Dave wasn't even there. I felt like a single Mother hearing the news all alone. I do have to say though I was sooooo excited!!! I can truthfully say now that, though there were pluses with both sex's, I really wanted a girl. And I guess she wanted me to know that she's coming, our little Olivia.

Now Ella will have a Sister, now all of Ella's "Janie and Jack" outfits will get more use (or use for the first time) now I will have another girl to shop with and to buy bows and ribbons for, now I get to use my second favorite name, now there will be more pink in our house, now the girls can fight over make-up, boys and clothes, now I will have 2 weddings to pay for..... wait, im not sure I thought this desire through.

So there you go. No 9 month sex surprise for me. Although her whole life will be full of surprises and I cant wait!

What happens?

Where has my Ella dear gone to these past few weeks? I'm not a big fan of having a 2 year old... we'll see you again in about year my happy girl.

BEFORE

AFTER

bad zoo, good times!

I woke up this morning and was determined to do something different with the kids today. We had a long weekend indoors and I could tell they both needed to get out and have some fun!

Disneyland was my first thought, its free and loads of fun. Then I realized I couldn't take Luke on any of the rides he'd really want to go on with me being pregnant and having Ella with me.  That, I soon realized, was a recipe for disaster. 

The Santa Ana Zoo was exactly what we needed. Cheap, low-key, new and lots of room to roam and run. I remembered it was a pretty awful "zoo"... more like a pretty park with a few monkeys, but it was perfect!

We called our friends Tiffany and Brady and we headed out for a fun morning. And that it was. 

I love these kids. Its hard o imagine I will be loving another one just as much soon

Ella and her Frog, or is it a toad?

The 3 cuties

Ella, reluctantly, petting a big Goat

And Luke's turn with Fridge, appropriately named.

"who, me?"

on the train ride, the highlight

Lukie boy

Ella girl

Need your opinion

I am trying to get input on this whole finding out the sex of the baby thing. I have been totally convinced that we were going to be surprised, no finding out for us. I have a boy and I have a girl. To be totally honest I have no preference whatsoever on whether or not this baby is a boy or a girl. So why not take advantage and do it old school style? Being surprised sounds so fun to me.

 Now I am wavering.

Not because I am feeling any differently about it. I really would like to wait. My concern is that Luke may have a hard time if he has his heart set on a boy, which he does, and I come home from the Hospital with a girl. I worry that there will be more transitional issues without the time to let the disappointment go. But, for all I know, he may not care a bit. 

So, what would you do? I think I will be disappointed if we decide to find out, as I really have my heart set on waiting. But I also want to make this as easy and smooth of a transition as I can on the kids, particularly Luke. Especially because as it is we will have just moved to a new state, pre-school, church, etc. My 17 week ultrasound is in a little over 2 weeks and I need to be firm in what I decide..... but what will that be?