Now I am wavering.
Not because I am feeling any differently about it. I really would like to wait. My concern is that Luke may have a hard time if he has his heart set on a boy, which he does, and I come home from the Hospital with a girl. I worry that there will be more transitional issues without the time to let the disappointment go. But, for all I know, he may not care a bit.
So, what would you do? I think I will be disappointed if we decide to find out, as I really have my heart set on waiting. But I also want to make this as easy and smooth of a transition as I can on the kids, particularly Luke. Especially because as it is we will have just moved to a new state, pre-school, church, etc. My 17 week ultrasound is in a little over 2 weeks and I need to be firm in what I decide..... but what will that be?
17 comments:
what if you tell luke it's going to be a surprise. if he says it's a boy, keep telling him it's a surprise. then when the baby is born, tell him what the sex is. if it's a boy, then he'll be excited. if it's a girl, then tell him she got him a special present just for him. then he'll have to like her - a present, and a cute sister...how could he resist? what do you think? i'm sure it's a going to be a transition for all of you. and there probably isn't going to be a definite way to prep any of you. so why not enjoy the surprise. luke is the sweetest boy - he'll love the baby either way. but this is just my opinion. and you're his mom. his mom knows best. and instinct rules over all. only you and dave know how he will really act. you know him best. dude...this was long. maybe i should have called you with my comment...
I think if you're both wanting a surprise that that's the best way to go. There aren't very many surprises left in life...why not enjoy one as a family? I totally understand your concerns because they are all legitmate and understandable. This could be a really fun opportunity to share with Luke the perks of having either a boy or girl. He loves his sister so he may be really excited to have another girl. You could do some fun FHE lessons on being a big brother/sister and what they can do to help and play with a new little one. You could totally turn it into a game for both he and Ella...getting them EXCITED for a surprise and a new baby. I agree with the previous post as well. You are both his parents and really know Luke best. he's so sweet and he has such a great relationship with his sister...it could be a really great teaching opportunity. But you are both really smart and will do what you know is best for your family. That's the way to go!
you are going to find out and you know it so stop fooling yourself. You sneak into all your Christmas presents and always open the oven to see, even when it says not to. Don't be sad, either way, you're leaving the hospital with a baby so that's gonna be great!
When our children were born we had no other choice than the "old school" approach. We would have given everything to be able to know what we were having from the beginning. But having said that, I can see why you would want to be surprised and everyone else is right. Do what you think is best for Luke. You will have the joy of bringing home a new baby and watching your children's faces as they inspect this new little creature. Maybe you could begin now by telling Luke that it isn't up to him or you or Daddy or Ella what kind of a baby it should be, it's really up to Heavenly Father and so we should wait and see what Heavenly Father will surprise us with. Anyway, just a thought. I know you will do what is best. We are all so excited that there is going to be another grandchild in the family and we don't care either. Just a healthy baby! We love you all.
The wavering all started after we talked on Wednesday night right???? Just kidding. You should totally wait if you really want to. Like the others said - prep Luke and Ella for either one, and they'll be so excited when the baby is born no matter what.
I had Madz go pray about it. She came back and said Heavenly Father said it is a girl. I was terrified that she would be wrong because she would scream at us if we told her we aren't sure what we are having. She was right, we had a girl. I think you should wait and just remind him how fun it is to be surprised!
i vote for finding out.
I had this dilemna because Elliott's telling everyone #4 is a girl. She's sure she's getting a sister...but when it comes down to it, I've had surprise and I've had no surprise, it's SO much more exciting to hear your husband say "it's a girl!" or "it's a boy!"
and when I've faltered, and found out before, it was like opening a present before Christmas. I don't think you will be disappointed if you wait, and Luke seems mature enough to understand that "it could be a boy or a girl."
HI Jill, I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. We did the whole let's be surprised because we have a boy and a girl already and I thought a surprise would be great. NOPE! I was a nervous wreck and would never want a surprise again. You might be totally different, but being straightforward here, it ruined my enthusiasm about being pregnant. Anyway, if you want all the details just message me.
Reading your post I was thinking, I wonder what her husband wants...then I saw his comment. :) As much fun as being suprised seems, my husband and I would be kidding ourselves to think we could ever be suprised... we both wouldn't be able to wait. Plus, if you find out at 17 weeks, you're still getting a suprise, just 23 weeks early. That's my kind of suprise! Good luck with the decision and good luck at the ultra sound!
I say if you can stand it, go for the surprise! I don't know if I could hold myself back (especially since I have 2 boys) but like you said, you are in the perfect situation to wait to find out. I always wanted to be surprised, but Steve (and his mom) wouldn't have it. You can do it if you really want to! (I couldn't help laughing and Charity's comment..she is probably right! LOL)
I say find out, then you don't have to wait another 23 weeks to find out. And you will still be surprised and happy when the little one is born. I side with Dave and Charity. You know deep down you want to find out!
I go back and forth on this issue too but you are in a better situation with one of each! No matter when you find out it's all a wonderful surprise. Only you two can figure it out! Just do us all a favore and if you find out spill the beans!
I say stick with what you want. (But make sure you both are happy with the decision) But, try to talk to Luke and let him know it might not be a boy. I like Jenny's comment on telling him it is going to be a surprise. Try to make it fun for him that it is going to be a surprise and talk him through it all. But, make sure it is what you want. Some people don't find out in the ultrasound anyways have to go through wondering. But, do what you both think is right. Good luck. I don't think I am helping either way.
I definitely have an opinion on this one...
I think there should be 3 different suprise times during the whole baby thing...
#1 - Yay, suprise your prego
#2 - Yay, suprise it is a boy/girl
#3 - Yay, suprise the baby is coming!
This way you can even out all the suprises. You are prego for soooo long anyways-might as well have a little fun in the middle of it!
Hey Jill, i always told myself if i have a boy then a girl, i would want to be surprised with my third, but honestly, i don't know if i could wait...I just wanna know. But i way admire people who can do it. I love how luke is so about his sister, i can tell he adores her. i don't think he would be too bummed if he had another one, but you gotta go with your gut. Which choice do you feel peaceful about? I know you'll do whats best. your a great mom!
i think you should find out! that way it will be easier for me! just kidding.
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