Dear baby

I got to see you again yesterday. The Doctor wanted to re-check some implantation bleeding that is still high in my uterus. She's not worried about it, just playing it safe. It made me happy because I could watch you all day if I could. You'd think on my 3rd baby I would be a little dulled to the insane feeling that comes over a Mom when she watches her baby on a screen.... it just keeps getting better and more amazing. Everything with this pregnancy has just been a little sweeter. 

I was really nervous at first because I didn't see your heart beating. I guess I just looked in the wrong place because the tech immediately said, "Wow, great heart rate." I almost cried.

Its amazing how many changes there were within a 2 week period. Last time all I saw was a blob with a fast flickering in the center (your heart) But this time I saw you!!! I could immediately see your head and your arms and legs moving all around. You were putting on quite a show.

I did ask you to stop making me throw-up... I haven't done so since so I gather that you are already obedient. Enjoy the next 30 weeks. I know, it sounds like forever to me too.

I hope you know how much we love you,

Love,

your Mommy

sorry your picture is a bit hard to see... our scanner is broken.

the cute things they say

I really need to do an entire blog devoted entirely to the funny and sweet things my kids say. My Parents have a few tapes of us all when we were kids. Sometimes we knew the tape player was recording, sometimes it was left on in a shared room to capture a conversation. These tapes are priceless to us and we quote those sweet words to this day.

Funny quote #1- Luke

The Prophet of our Church recently passed away, we have been talking about this a lot in our home recently. How President Hinckley is living in heaven now with Jesus, and how Heavenly Father has called a new prophet. He has it down pretty good now. Yesterday he was looking at a picture and said, "This is Jesus, Mommy." 

"Yes Luke, that is a picture of Jesus."

"Mommy... Jesus is dead, right?"

"Well... is is not on this Earth any more and he lives in heaven" 

"Yeah, he's dead. We're going to get a new Jesus now."

Funny quote #2- Ella

"Ella, its almost time for bed."

"but Mom, I gotta finish my rice."

"OK, after you finish your rice its time for bed."

Ella looks at me for a bit and says,"not a chance!!!!" with an emphasis on the word "chance"

I don't even have a clue where she heard that phrase... we never say that. Dave and I died laughing.

Funny quote #3- Ella

Ella fell down the stairs 2 nights ago. Just a few. She insists on hopping down each step so it was really just a matter of time. Those who know Ella know she jumps like a mad woman. She's jumped before she's even walked.

After she was consoled she relived the incident with us.

"First I was jumping. Then I was falling, Then I was crying... and then I was so scared!" I don't know why but it was just so funny to us. Our little 26 month old conversationalist. 

how's that view?

                                                                                                                                                                               

We booked the Paris portion of our Europe vacation last night. I am getting pretty excited but have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that we are going to be here in a few weeks. I am also getting really nervous about leaving the kids for 10 days!!! At least we can video chat with them.

Letter to baby

Dear baby,

Why is it that you make me feel so yucky? I am always tired and the thought of most food makes me feel like throwing up. Which is why on days like today I can only stomach a bit of breakfast and nothing else until dinner.  I am not trying to hurt your feelings. I hope I haven't.

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that you are making a temporary home inside of my tummy. Its just that I really cant wait until you are a little more settled and I am feeling a little better. Will that be soon? Do you think?

Well, I hope you are comfortable. Sorry I cant provide you with more nutrition. Its all I can do to eat what I have been eating. I hope you are still growing and healthy.

Have a good night.

I love you,

Mommy

A Winter's day in Orange County

I was feeling decent a couple of days ago and knew we needed to get the most out of the afternoon. We got some "Anita's", grabbed a blanket and headed down the street to have a picnic. The kids had a wonderful time and I loved basking in the warm sun. It was a good day! If only I could have eaten my lunch... it sounded good when I ordered it.

The cat's out of the bag!

What was intended to be a secret for a little while longer, other then to Family, has somehow now become very public knowledge. Yes, I am pregnant! Going into my 9th week... due on my Daddy's birthday, September 30.

My head marvels at how so many people have somehow figured out my news. I guess part of it is the fact that for the last couple of weeks I have been totally MIA. For those of us lucky enough to get soooooooo sick we really don't stand a chance to go 12 weeks without anyone knowing something fishy is going on.

It's been a pretty stressful 4 weeks. Those of you who have miscarried know the constant fear that sits.... that it is very possible that any day the pregnancy could end. My Dr. has been testing my levels every few days and all is looking great. (After being put on progesterone twice a day) We had an ultrasound a week ago and saw our little kidney bean's heartbeat, which we were told is about as strong as they come. 

So I am starting to let myself get a little more excited each day. We are thrilled to add to our growing Family and cant wait to see all of the wonderful things this spirit is going to add . I have never been happier to feel sick or to dry-heave. I am happy and amazed to say I have yet to throw-up, though some days are still hard to get through. I have the best Mom and Husband and they have been so incredible. 

This baby is already so loved and so wanted. I am so grateful to be pregnant and thank my Heavenly Father daily for this amazing blessing.

My anxious hour

I am only slightly embarrassed to admit that Dave decided to drive Ella around tonight to get her to fall asleep. Once upon a time, when I never knew the agony of a child who got out of bed 14 times a night, I would have sworn I'd NEVER do this. We have now done it 3 times.... with more to come I am sure. On a different note its so easy to say "I'd never....." when you've never felt the desperation of a certain incident. Luke has yet to ever get out of his bed after we have put him down for the night. He's been a perfect sleeper all of his life, sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old! Ella has pretty much always been a nightmare.

I am getting off topic. Sorry.

So as Dave ran out the door he stated" I'm not bringing my cell phone but I'm sure I wont be more than 10 minutes." The last 2 times we have been this lazy and opted for the easy way out, Ella has ben asleep within minutes. Out they went and on I turned Food Network. 

As I sat watching the "Chocolate run-way challenge" I realized it had been 20 minutes and still no sound of the front door. 20 minutes later I got a bit more nervous. Let me interject with one small side-story. A year ago I was home alone. There was a very loud knock on the door and I anxiously went to see who was there. I said "hello?" no answer. A bit louder, "Yes? Who is it?" Again, silence. Im my head it made perfect sense that it was someone trying to trick me into opening the door so that they could push their way in, attack me and then kidnap my sleeping kids. I grabbed the phone, ran upstairs and sat by my door shaking for an hour until Dave came home. In his hand was a big, wrapped plate of  beautifully decorated sugar cookies from the Young Women. I almost died. But I was relieved. Dave doesn't leave me home alone at night much these days.

Now that my "clear" thinking has been exposed. 

I heard an ambulance 40 minutes after Dave had left and I really started to panic. Visions of the car accident exploded in my head and my imagination went running. I called my Mom and asked her if she thought the Hospital would have called me immediately should something have gone wrong. I was minutes away from calling Fountain Valley Regional before I saw familiar headlights. I hung up the phone and ran out. Ella  was still awake, it had been an hour, and Dave was obviously agitated. I grabbed her from him and hugged her tight. Walked her upstairs and lay her down... she went right to sleep by the way. I had never been so worried.

This is obviously a look into my scared psyche, a terrifying Halloween event from when I was a little girl (thats a whole post all its own) But it got me thinking how much I love and need my Family. How my world just couldn't function without every member in it. I am so grateful for my wonderful Husband and my amazing kids. I don't know what I did to deserve them. Maybe a little trickery and manipulation. But I feel thankful for every day that they are all safe and healthy.... and mine!!!!

sweet voices

                                                Luke and Ella, both at about 8 months old

Today at Church ,while my kids were involved in their coloring books and snacks, the Bishop was speaking. At one point he said 2 lines from a Primary song. He stated "I am a child of God and he has sent me here." At that point both of my kids continued the song together where he left off... "has given me an earthly home, with Parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I can do to live with him someday."

They sounded so sweet that even though it was a bit loud I just had to let them continue to finish their sweet song together. This brief moment almost had me in tears. I couldn't help but to watch them and enjoy this tender moment. 

I love my kids so much and feel it one of the greatest gifts in my life to be their Mother. I promise to do my best to lead, guide and walk beside them. This was a beautiful reminder of how ready they are to learn, how closely they are listening and how much they are taking in.

One wonderful friend

Last weekend we went to dinner with our good friends, the Johnson's. We ate at the Yardhouse, which was absolutely delicious! One of the appetizers that Jenny ordered was this creamy spinach-cheese dip served with these yummy crispy flatbread. I was almost disappointed when my meal came because I wanted to eat this for days. The next day as Jenny and I were talking on the phone I brought up how I couldn't get this dreamy dip off my mind. We both laughed at it and that was that... until last night.

I came home from a baby shower to find the above on my kitchen counter. Yes, Jenny had gone to the Yardhouse and picked some of this up for me and then dropped it off on my doorstep. I couldn't believe it. Am I really the girl who has these kinds of thoughtful friends? I am so blessed.

So thank you again Jenny. What a friend you are and I am grateful for you... for more reasons then just a delicious snack. I am humbled that you would do this for me.... amazing.

And the evening was divine. I watched Lost and stuffed myself until I felt sick. And then I devoured round 2.