I feel too much running through my head and it makes it hard to write about. I feel angry and I feel helpless. I feel like someone who spends months in the Hospital during her pregnancy and then delivers twin's 9 weeks early should not have to be here. Almost loosing your babies? That should be it right? Why is it that, of all people, she's going to have to deal with this too?
I know all the right answers. I know that she has been prepared for this, that we have a Father in Heaven who knows her and who will be with her every step of the way. My mind reflects on many of the "right" answers. "Right" thoughts. But sometimes I just feel like this. moapy and sad and left with too many questions. Tonight as I fall asleep I will think of Jenny. I will say a prayer for her, for her Husband and her 3 kids. I will ask Heavenly Father to bless her with renewed hope for tomorrow, for strength to recover from her terrible surgery. I will plead with Him to give her mental and emotional strength. But most of all, I will ask him to do whatever he can to help Jenny to beat this. And I know that she will. There is no one stronger.
I feel selfish to be thinking of me, as well as her, right now. How I feel and what I want. I know that this is all about Jenny. Its about how she's feeling and how she's doing. Its about how her amazing Husband can do it all and how so many loved one's are pitching in to do whatever they can. But I don't think she'd mind too much if I let myself be sad tonight. She's always putting others before herself.
As my good friend Jana always quotes, "Today was a hard day. Tomorow will be better."-from Lillie's Purple Plastic Purse.
I'll be strong again tomorrow. Today I just need to feel melancholy.
i told you she's amazing.
these were all taken at BYU Women's Conference, 3 days after she was diagnosed. I felt so lucky to be the one spending that time with her. It was an incredible weekend, one I will never forget. (and I dont know why these are so small. And I know Jenny will say that she is glad, so I wont fix them now. And I know she'll love that I put the one of her eating her BYU brownie up too. But come on, how cute is she?)
6 comments:
Jill, Praying my heart out for Jenny! She is a "friend of a friend". I met her once or twice through Mommy & Me where we live. My heart has ached for her since I heard of the news. But, I have so much faith... faith that God WILL give her the strength to get through this... faith that she WILL beat this! Her story has already touched so many hearts... and given many a woman that nudge to make their annual appointment. What a very special person she is! And, what a perfect friend she has in you! If there is ANYTHING I can do... I am here (not far from her). I would be happy to help in anyway I can!
(((Hugs))) to you... and (((Hugs))) to Jenny and her family! Prayers! Lisa Tweedy
awwww Jenny! I am a shocked right now...My heart goes out to her and I will keep her and her family in my prayers. She is the cutest girl. Sometimes I wonder why good people like her go through all the difficulties.. But there are just some really amazing people, like her that have something to teach people like me.
Aww I'm so sorry for your friend (and for you, I do know how hard this is). I hope and pray everything works out well for her. So many people get through cancer and remain strong! I hope they caught it early and it's not agressive!! :(
Jill, I'm so sorry for all that is going on with your friend. I read her blog and was quite impressed with her strength during this challenging time. After working with a lot of kids with cancer I have noticed that they have such a positive attitude and strength while going through something unbelievably hard. I could see these same things in her as I see in them. I will keep you and her family in my prayers. I know how frustrating it feels to be so far away and not there with her. You are an amazing friend and I'm sure you are doing more than you know in the distance that is seperating you from her.
Thanks, Jill. You put so many of my thoughts into words. You and Dave are amazing friends to them!
Oh, that just made me cry. It makes me put my own problems and stresses into perspective too. Oh, I will pray for her. I really cannot even imagine having to face such a thing. It just makes me so so sad.
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