Reminders

I hate this evening. I put it off all day long, those 2 huge files that were overnighted from CU Denver. Those ordinary looking packages stuffed to the brim with reports. A study that had been ongoing for a full School year. Reports on my Luke. For he was who the study was on.



I remember the first report we ever got back. There were no warm segways into what was printed. Just plain old numbers. Numbers which clearly read the facts. Which all boiled down to a diagnosis. Which was Autism. And it killed me to read them.

I took those first reports, taking my 2 year old and ranking him within the normal ranges of a 11 month old in areas. And I swore that Luke would never see them. I hid them deep in a file folder and closed it. And its been years since I saw them all again.

Tonight was that night, over 3 years later. And though I also get to read updated numbers, letters and reports on how far my Son has come, its still hard. Facing the hard truth as it hits you in the face, yes for me it is hard. And I hate doing it. Especially when its about someone I love more than almost anyone or anything.

I hate that Luke has been put in the position where people are constantly "grading" him and "studying" him. That they're watching the things he does, putting pen to paper and jotting down all sorts of notes about them. And him.

And as we prepare for another huge day of observations, which I dread, I must open all of these notes and circles and grades. I must read them and bring them along for others to read. And once again my Son becomes less Luke and more of a case study. Of a 10:00am appointment on some one's schedule.

So here we go. Round 5 or 7 or even 10. I lost track. I will bring my beautiful boy to you and I will allow you to judge him and talk about him though he's not there. I will express to you all of the things that I worry about every single day. I will tell you in detail about his latest melt-downs and his problems with socializing. I will tell you all of the things that I dont want Luke to ever know because I dont want him to feel bad or wrong or abnormal.

But I do this to help him. I open myself up and I come with my most prized possession and I let you make marks on your papers about all of the things he does that are "wrong". And I only do it because he means more to me than anything. Because there is no door I will not break down in order to help him. No paperwork too long, no therapist too far to reach. I will do anything to help this amazing, smart, sweet, honest, caring, silly boy that I have been blessed with.

I am his Mother and these things are my job. and I am unwilling to fail at this job or to fail this little boy. His future will be better because of how hard we will work together.

But know this, there is no grading system on your paper tomorrow that will show you who he really is. Nothing to register how sweet he is or how much he loves. You may think you know him because of the 35 pages of reports you will have on him but you will never have a clue. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for you. I thank my Father in Heaven that you are there for us. I just hate your tests and I hate your questions and I hate, I hate your jotting pen. Because I hate how this disorder has taken parts of Luke from me. But Im going to get him back. All of him.

So here we go.... again.

I love this man

I love this Man. For so, so many reasons.

I love that he loves and supports his Son in all of his pursuits. He believes in Dave, and always has, in ways that leave me speechless.

I love that he offered to drive with Dave and 2 young kids all the way from CA to CO, just so Dave wouldn't have to do it alone.

I love that he was even a little excited about the before mentioned.

I love that within minutes of their arrival, after hours and hours in a car, he told Dave it was time to unpack the car. Not that Dave did it, because he didn't, but the fact that its the first place his mind went to. He is always driven by purpose.

I love that he knows how to work. And even more so that he loves to do it.

I love that he spent hours teaching Dave how to work on his car.

I love how excited he gets about all of the money that's being saved on working on the car themselves.

I love watching him watch Dave as they do this together. I can see into his past as he was a boy working side-by-side with his own Father.

I love how excited he gets about a good meal. And about even a mediocre dessert!

I love watching him interact with my Children and how much he does to see them laugh.

I love how he resorts to tickling or even trapping in order to get their attention.

I love how he can talk to anybody and how after 1 Sunday he knows as many people in the Ward as it took us 3 months to know.

I love how excited he gets when he see's how much Luke loves numbers, just like he loves them.

I love how after 2 minutes in our basement the laundry door is fixed.

I love how after 1 look into the girls room he's now got it on his agenda to fix the door, the drawer on the dresser and the one on the bottom of the crib. And that within a hour all the supplies have been purchased and each hinge is back in its proper place.

I love that he offered to watch the kids so that we could go on a date, without us even dropping a hint.

I love that he can't even go to the hardware store without giving his Wife a kiss.

I love that he's such a great listener and gives such great advice. But that he never gives it if its not asked for.

I love that he lets Dave and I make mistakes. Im sure they drive him crazy to watch unfold but he lets us do them anyways. And I especially love that he never makes us feel stupid for them later, even though sometimes they really were.

I love that I could go on and on about this incredible man whom I have the joy to call my Father-in-Law. And that I wrote this entire thing without a single pause or an extra thought. He's just that easy to love.

Thank you Lee, for these and o' soooo many other things. You have made our lives better in almost every way, just by being you!!! We love you indeed.

A Sister

Olivia is famous around here. Especially to Ella. Where ever we go Ella is always sure to introduce every one to Olivia. To Ella they're lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, they've been graced by Olivia Wirthlin. Yes, she is shown off, tugged on, kissed, given her every desire, waited on and doted upon. Ella knows that she's the luckiest girl in the World. For while others only get graced by Olivia's presence at the supermarket or Target once in a small while; she has the privilege of seeing Liv every single day!

But do you want to know something? Olivia thinks that Ella's the real prize. At 9 months she started saying her name each morning upon waking up (we have to rush in to grab her out of her crib in order to allow Ella another hour of sleep) She beams as she looks upon her Sister. Olivia knows that Ella is her's and she's thrilled by that all day long. Following Ella around never gets old.

Yes, Ella; Olivia is your star. And Olivia you clearly do have the best big Sister. But the real lucky one is me. I get to witness this sweet love affair each and every day. Nope, there is nothing like having a Sister. Not a single thing.

love

Jana is one of my best friends. We met when Dave and I were first married, just 6 1/2 years ago. It feels like I have known her my entire life. We spent almost every day together. Our Husbands got along equally as well. When we'd hang out there were always 2 conversations going on at the same time. Jana's and mine on one end of the room and Steve and Dave's on the other. Dave would ride shotgun, Jana was in the back with me.

We got pregnant at the same time; I had a boy and she had a girl. We both moved far away and continued to spend almost every day together via telephone. We both got pregnant; this time I had the girl and she had the boy. Life went on. There were several more moves, new jobs, exciting times, sad times, changes in all shapes and sizes. But one thing remained. Thousands of miles away and through all those years we remained the same. In fact, we got closer and closer all the time. There were days that we spoke multiple times in a 24 hour period. We both had one more baby and again opposites. Jana with her Ash Man and me with my Liv.

I am so grateful for this friendship that has seen me through so many things. And I know it will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

We, as many good friends, would always joke that our kids would end up getting married. That they'd grow up feeling like family and then one day, on our joint Family vacation, one of them would decide to make a move. It's all in good fun you see, friends always joke about it.

Who knows, maybe one day there may be a Wedding. With 3 chances we feel we have good odds. And as of this last trip Ella and Jackson stated that they were going to get married "after breakfast." Breakfast, mission... you know.


Ella and Jack... then (ella was 16 months old, Jack 18)

Ella and Jack... now at 3 1/2

I imagine if we track their kisses over the years they may get less and less sweet and more and more reason to worry.

Double digit's

My baby is 10 months old! Its just plain amazing how quickly time goes by; and a little unfair.

Olivia is simply the best, sweetest, most fun baby. She may be small(a little over 15 lbs.) but she is bubbling over with personality.

She is saying a few fun new things this month such as Nigh, nigh (night, night) Num, num (when she wants food) and my personal favorite, Eyh ya (Ella)

She is also waiving hello and good bye, shaking her head no, holding the phone up to her ear to "talk", clapping, rolling a ball, throwing her hands up in the air and saying "yeah!" and mimicking all sorts of fun sounds and actions.

She's standing a little bit here and there (maybe 6 or 7 seconds but its still cute) and loves to explore, swim and interact with people. As long as Mom is close by she's becoming really social with just about everybody she meets.

Lastly, she's our first official Mama's girl. She is turning into a little clingy girl, which the others never did. Its sort of a downer for others but at this point I am loving it. Maybe its the self-esteem boost I need!

We love you Olivia and cant wait to see what's lurking around the corner this month.

Olivia's first Beach Bonfire

We had a great time last week at a Family Beach party. Emily had the great idea to have her Family, My Parents, us and Dave's Parents all meet down at the firepits for some yummy food, beach play and good company. It was just that!

Once again Olivia went straight for the sand, sifting it through her petite fingers as she looked for shells to devour. She won herself a place in someone's arms for pretty much the rest of the evening (which is always welcomed by her)

It'll be okay... in 6 days

Dont cry Liv, Daddy will be back from Chile in 1 week. (I dont know who's going to miss whom more, the kids, their Mom or their Dad)

July 4th

I happen to love, and I mean love, the 4th of July. It has always been one of my favorite Holidays. Im sure it has to do with the fact that I grew up in a home all my life with a Father that served and loved this Country for a living. We have always been taught what an incredible Country we live in and to respect and love it with all that we have.
We started out the morning attending our old Stake's annual production, which I always love to do, and had breakfast afterwards. It was a great way to ring in the Holiday. I especially loved seeing all of the little kids dressed up representing their individual state and honoring our service men and Woman. And yes, that always makes me cry.
Later, after naps, we went to the Wirthlins for a BBQ and some general good times. It was great to see the Byers too, its been too long.
We ended the night watching fireworks from atop the Disneyland parking structure... it was perfect!! Ella was really sad that fireworks cant be a standard evening ritual.




I still cant believe I let Brad take the kids on a ride on a motorcycle around the neighborhood, though I think Dave was more shocked than anyone. Those who know me probably know my feelings for these things... but the kids were so excited about their ride.It shows how much I trust Brad. Dave's hoping it means Im one step closer to a "yes" on a Vespa.

Swimming is for the Dogs

We have had the greatest mornings at the Dog Beach in Huntington. I wondered if Bjorn would like it or not, having never seen the Ocean before, but he jumped right in. He is such a great dog.

Bjorn loves playing with Charlie (my Parents puppy)






Olivia loved the beach too! I was worried she'd try to eat the sand but all she did was dig thorough it until she found a sandy shell, then she put that in her mouth. Is that any better? Didn't think so.


We took the dogs home and put them in the pool next. This was not quite the same response as the beach, sorry dog's.

Camping in Green River, UT

So the long awaited and highly anticipated Family Reunion started out in Green River. We got there, after a little over 6 hours, and set up tents right away. The kids were super exited to have the tent up in a camp site rather than just our garage (practice) I was just happy to have gotten it out of the garage so that I could get my parking spot back.

Back to camping.... it was a HUGE success. I was a little worried about taking this on with 3 little ones, one of which would be on the ground crawling the entire time. But there was literally not a single hiccup. The kids, all 16, were amazing. Not a single issue or argument broke out. They all slept well, played well, ate well, hiked well. It was incredible. The food was out of this world. We each took a meal and each one was superb. I think the camping food was the best I have yet to eat on this entire vacation. I could go on and on. Lets just suffice to say that camping was 100 times better than I could have imagined. And it was so great to see the cousins all play so well together. I am so happy that they all have and love each other. I never had near the bond that these kids already have. ( And I only had 4 Cousins total!)

Thanks to everyone for such a fun and memorable vacation. We had such a great trip with you all and wish we lived close enough to do it all the time.

e

Summer Vacation... Arches

After a 6 1/2 hour drive, with my sweet Liv crying most of the way, we arrived in UT for the Wirthlin Family Reunion. We have really been looking forward to this for months, its been years since everyone has been together and we couldn't wait.

I'll get to the camping aspect in another post but first.... Arches. It was very pretty and the kids had a total blast hiking around on all of the rocks. It was fun doing this together, I must say we're a pretty cool group :)










Its kinda' fun to bring Bjorn places that other Dog's aren't allowed.

Luke was such a climber. He was really into it and could have gone all day

The 3 babies of 08'
From left to right: Garrett October, Olivia September and Blake July.... cute, cute, cute. These 3 babies are all so easy-going and mellow. It made for a great camping trip.

see you in a few weeks

"We're on vacation in CA for a few weeks. Bye for now but come back soon to see all of the fun things we've been seeing and doing"- Olive