Thursday, September 11, 2008

Dear Olivia

Your Mommy's belly with 13 days left to induction date.


To my sweet baby girl,

I can not believe that in less than 2 weeks I will be holding you. That you will be on the outside rather than the inside. That I can finally look on your little face rather than feel your big kicks and jabs all day long.

In so many ways it feels like yesterday when I was taking that pregnancy test, sure that I was not pregnant that month... maybe the next. I watched the test and no line appeared, I was not surprised. Then, before bed, I peeked into the trash can. There, on that little white plastic rectangle,was just the slightest second line.  I immediately took another, though it had only been a few hours. And there it was, the barely darker, pink line that would change our lives. I was indeed pregnant. And I couldn't stop smiling.

The beginning was scary with you. It had been 3 months since I miscarried, something that made it almost impossible for me to get too excited. I was just so aware of all the things that could go wrong. And even a little numb still. Then the news of lowered progesterone came. I was devastated. It was happening all over again. I started medication. Levels went up... and then down. They put me on higher dosages. Levels went up... and then started to lower. After a few more up's and down's, many blood draws, and a lot of expensive progesterone (thank goodness for great health insurance) things were steady and we all felt hopeful. I was so grateful that even all the sickness I had didn't seem too bad, I needed to loose weight anyway :)

All of that seems so long ago. Back then the end result seemed so far off. And now, here we are. We made it. 

You have been to many Dr's appointments, gone to Europe, already attended your first Girls Camp, moved to a new state and are now ready to start the real adventures. Namely Luke and Ella. 

We are all so excited to meet you. Your Brother and Sister ask about you every day. How much longer? what color will your eyes will be? They discuss the ways that they'll help you to stop crying, who will sit by you in the car, and how they'll kiss you when they hold you. Our lives are filled with Olivia excitement.

I still cant get over how much you can love somebody you've never met. But I do. And I will love you for eternity. 

Love,

Your Mommy

6 comments:

Jana Heller said...

very nice jill. she is a lucky little girl to have such beautiful family to enter into! i can't wait to see her.

Kat said...

Jill, this is so beautiful, I am near tears! What a lucky little girl to be welcomed into a home with so much love. And she will be so touched as she grows up and can reflect on these letters of love before she even took her first breath. I'm so impressed and so happy for you!
xoxo
kat

Holly Moore said...

Oh Jill, you look soo cute!! What a sweet post! I didn't realize how much you went through to bring this baby here. She's so lucky. I wish I was closer to meet her!

Kim Harvey said...

what a great letter to your sweet baby girl. We are filled with "Olivia Excitement" in the Harvey home as well! Love you and that sweet baby of yours.

Jamie C. said...

First, you are tiny! Tell me that was you at like 20 weeks and not just the other day! And second, what lucky kids you have. You are such a sweet mom! It truly is amazing the love we're capable of having! Good luck these next few weeks! I'll be anxious for the "announcement" post!

Deb said...

What a loving letter to your baby. Isn't it great that we can post all of this and then make it a journal!!! I love Blogging!

Baby Olivia

Baby Olivia
bright eyes

My funny Ella

My funny Ella

My handsome Luke

My handsome Luke

O'Paris

O'Paris