Dear Baby

First off, Im sorry that you dont have a name yet. Its not right, I know. In some ways and at some times it makes me feel like Im failing you before you're even here. Like a huge part of you, that I am suppose to be in charge of, is being neglected. But I like to think of it differently. I like to think that you are so special. That the circumstances and figures of how you actually fought your way into being here at this time are so extraordinary. That means you need an extraordinary name. And I just need as much time as I can to be sure that I get it exactly right.

Secondly, we have really been through it. I started spotting with you at about week 5. It was so scary. But I think Heavenly Father knew that I needed those scares to help me to see that you were a blessing from Him. And that I wanted so badly for you to be healthy and present in my growing tummy. That spotting was monitored closely for weeks, 20. Finally it ended for good. We have been in and out of the ER, Hospital and Lab's several times. I have been poked and stuck by needles probably 20 times. Throwing up so much has been hard on me but I know that its hard on you too. Yes, we have really been through it together.

But the finish line is in sight. The prize is you and I know that all of those hard pregnancy moments will all too soon vanish as I hold your tiny head in the crick of my neck. I dream now of you. I love it. I am holding your tightly swaddled body against my chest. You have on nothing but a tiny diaper and a hospital band. I stare at you without blinking an eye. Marveling at how this all came to be. So yes, its here. I am excited. Officially excited. And I can not wait to kiss your soft cheeks, im sure they'll follow true Wirthlin suite and be round and plump. I cant wait to stare in awe at your tiny, wrinkled feet and to stretch out your long, skinny fingers as I wrap them around my own.

See you in 5 weeks baby. We can do it!!!

Love,

Your Mommy