6:15am- kids wake me up
7:15am- Breakfast, get kids dressed. Get myself dressed, resolve an issue between a 4 and 3 year old, give baby a bottle, and if I have time, brush MY teeth.
8:15am- Preschool for Luke and Ella
8:40am- Home. Play with the baby, bath time for baby, nap time for baby
9:30am- Clean/laundry/shower. Maybe watch a little TV.
10:45am- Pick up Luke.
11:00am- Pick up Ella and James (carpool)
11:15am- Home. Feed kids lunch (this takes 30 min. in and of itself), give baby a bottle, resolve another argument or 2.
12:00pm- Ella and baby naps. Luke quiet time.
*** This is Mommy time. I do dishes, eat lunch, clean up from lunch, catch up on emails, pay bills, etc.*******
2:00pm- Kids play. Mom gives baby a bottle
3:00pm- Snack time
4pm- The big lul in the day. Kids usually start to get tired and grumpy. Mom tries to keep them entertained while also caring for a 3 month old who too is sleepy.
5pm- Start Dinner
5:45pm- Start bedtime.
6:00 pm- Mom's rear end crashes onto the sectional not to be moved for a longer than I'd like to admit.
Pretty mundane and dull I realize. But its basically my day in and out. Week by week and month by month. Sometimes we throw in Ballet or Karate. A playdate or the Children's Museum. But those days usually involve more stress and more driving around. Poor Olivia never gets to be the one to wake her from her naps anymore. I do that for her. Because we are usually heading out the door for the next pick up or drop off. Grocery run or lesson.
Well I've decided to add a little more excitement into the mix. As Oprah said, Im putting myself back on my list.
As Mothers we give and give and give. Usually with no thought to ourselves. Our wants and needs. Our over-all well being. To be honest I never really noticed it. I have a young Family. It's what I need to be giving my all to right now. I have decided that feeling needs to change. And it started last week.
I now take 2 hours at least 3 times a day and devote it totally to myself. Mine is done in a gym. I put the kids in the Kids Club and head off to take care of ME!!! Getting more energy, feeling better, being alone with my thoughts and feeling accomplished. (by the way I am already seeing results!!!)
Today was the ultimate "me" afternoon. I dropped my kids off and went into the locker room. I grabbed my bag and started to get changed, today was cardio, ab's and legs. I saw my suit laying under my running shoes. It hit me. Today I was going to take a selfish afternoon.
First I headed out to the "Fit Cafe." I ordered my smoothie and grabbed a seat in one of the cozy, leather love seats. I sat there, almost smirking as I enjoyed my time. I knew the kids were having a wonderful time. Probably playing computer games on one of the many imac's or running through the basketball court with friends. Maybe climbing around inside the maze or tunnels. Fun. That was the bottom line. I still felt a little guilty. OK, a lot guilty.
I looked away as I passed the over-lookers on the second floor. I couldn't help but notice them sweating while dutifully doing their cardio.
Next I went into the eucalyptus steam room. Pure bliss. I just dont remember the last time I felt that relaxed. After I had soaked up all the aromatherapy I could handle I sat in the spa for about 20 minutes. And then I went in the sauna. And then again to the steam room.
I never did get my workout in. I enjoyed my "me" time for over an hour before I couldn't stand it anymore. My guilt got the best of me and I got dressed and picked up the kids.
I felt terrible. I couldn't enjoy it all as much as I should have. Proof that I need to do more of this. I kept telling myself to just let it go and to let myself relax. I tried to tell my thoughts to quiet down. It was still impossible to escape. I kept thinking that others must be watching me. Rolling their eyes as they were about to head up to hit the weights. And here I was, lifting only my soft white towel and a peanut butter banana smoothie.
I vowed I would do this again. Until I did it without feeling guilty or falsely sensing others disapproval.
So here's to me time. Whether I am on a treadmill, working the weights or simply falling asleep in a eucalyptus filled steam room. Im doing it for me. And I know by doing so I will have more to give to the things and the people who matter most.
Selfish is OK Mom's. Oprah says!
6 comments:
I don't think it's selfish at all! In fact, it is manditory! Who is going to take care of you if you don't? And I find I am a much better mom if I do take me time. So enjoy it and don't feel guilty - you deserve it fellow mother!
I love you. And you are right. It is so hard to take "me" time. I totally agree. My day isn't that much off from yours (except no preschool and therefore probably a little more problem managment) And "me" time is when I get lucky for a nap and I totally feel guilty about it too. Thank you for the reminder that "me" time really equals more "Happy Mom" time and therefore a better family life. (Maybe that is the big problem in our house right now) Keep doing your "me" time. You are always an inspiration to me Jill.
oh man, i am jealous. i want to go sit in a steam room and just enjoy SILENCE. that alone makes me happy!
good for you...you deserve it. Don't feel guilty. you are a GREAT mom and wife!
Good for you! Sounds like a fun afternoon. Moms need a break too, so don't feel guilty!
I realized this a little while ago and with Brady "going to" his speech I realized that was the prime time to do for myself. I can still get things done and what can't be done can be done the next day but it is SO refreshing and when I don't my day is totally different. However, I do feel guilty...that feeling I still haven't been able to shake.
I'm glad you are coming to this realization in your younger mothering days. It took me far too many years to realize I needed ME time. I think that's why I stayed up so late when the children were young-it was quiet and I was alone with my thoughts and feelings and time. DON'T ever feel guilty about rejuvenating yourself - you'll be a better wife and mother.
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