My life

I got married young, not as young as many of you reading this, but young. I was barely 23 . Every single patient at Dr. Kroes' office, where I was 9 hours a day, thought I was crazy. I still had"so much to learn and do." There was still "too much life out there to already settle in." 

And you can imagine their reactions when I announced, just 5 short months later, that I was expecting. Not even married 6 months and already I was ushering my new Husband into morning sickness and mood swings. It was the ultimate test of his affections.(he passed with flying colors)

The March that Luke turned 1 I was pregnant once again. My little Luke was not even walking yet, I had a Husband in his first year of a Masters program and we didn't have any family near our new Chicago home. Yet, here I was, 25 and expecting my first little girl.

I felt I needed a little break after that. The 2 kids were a hard adjustment for me. Luke, with his AS, and a screaming baby with constant reflux was just too much for me at times. It was the first time in my marriage where I uttered the words, "I want my Mommy"

And now here we are with 3 kids. Im a year away from being 30 and I feel at times like I have already lived 40 years of this life. It seems an eternity ago that I had only 1 child. I truly do not remember my first year of marriage. Mine was spent throwing up and sleeping.

But I was just thinking the other day how I have never wished for any different life. I think some in these situations wonder what life would have been like if they had waited. Maybe traveled a little more. Maybe spent a little more time finding themselves, being a little selfish. And sure sometimes I think of how nice it would have been to sleep in on Saturdays for a few good years or what it would feel like to leave the house without a diaper in tow. As I walk through Nordstrom I envision all of the cute bags I could have owned, if only I didn't need the extra space for bottles, wooden trains and polly pockets.

I never imagined my life any other way. All I wanted was to be a Wife and a Mother. It's when I felt like my life actually began, not when it got put on hold. There will still be time for traveling and cute purses. There will be a day when I will go to the Grocery store and I will pass by the diaper isle without visiting it. I can imagine days where I can be engrossed in more learning of my own. A day when I can be selfish. A day when I can sleep in and take long afternoon naps. I will be able to keep a house, no a room , clean for more than an hour. These days will come before I know it. But for now I am loving my life and the choices I made to get me here. 

So to those who feel sorry for me, who give me strange looks in the supermarket as I have 3 in tow, I say this.... Dont feel sorry for me. Dont think that I have never got the chance to live my own life. I say be even a little envious. For how many can say, " I have made my childhood dreams a reality."