Luke's parent teacher conference

Today was Luke's conference with his teachers at Pre-School. I always look forward to these. If I could be a fly on the wall throughout all of the hours that my children are away, well I would. To see the choices that they make, to hear the things they say and to watch their day unfold, all without my guidance and direction, I'd be in. Even if they were making unwise choices at least I would be there to witness them all. I could teach them, in the comfort and protection of my little nest, how they could have chosen differently so as not to hurt themselves or others.

Unfortunately life is not that way. It is not meant to be, I know this. In my head I know I need to let my kids make their own choices, mistakes and all. In my heart all I want to do is hold them close and never let them out of my sight. Not even for a moment. I tell myself, "growth, its all about growing." But it still scares me, letting them experience the freedom which comes with age. This is why Kindergarten gets me, Luke's gaining more and more independence and freedom, its the tip of life with out me holding his hand.

This is why I enjoy these. I love to know all the things that are happening when I am not there. Good or bad, it satisfies the need I have to be apart of each step towards who Luke will ultimately become.

So there were exciting developments and some area's of concern, like every conference I assume. I got to see some of his work, the time and detail with which he handles each thing asked of him. I got to see his math skills and his reading skills, both of which were off the charts. It was a proud moment as they told me that Luke is the model to which other students aspire to be. As they see him doing his spelling, reading and math she said it excites the others to try harder and to achieve more. How could I not be filled with happiness at hearing these sorts of things? She said he is, academically, at the top of the class and that they felt privileged to see how his capable mind unfolds. (I feel that way too)

They were a little concerned with his social skills. This has always been an area to watch with Luke. He enters and exits a social scene like a quiet wind. Making a thoughtful comment and then going off to the next thing to do or see. His interactions with other peers are lacking meaning and depth. He has a hard time expressing his emotions or speaking up. Part of me feels like he takes after his Dad, part of me worries. I just want Luke to succeed and flourish. I dont want him to be all brains, maybe that sounds strange. I want him to be a good friend with meaningful relationships. So I worry a little but I have faith. He has always risen to a challenge and exceeded the expectations of many professionals, why should this be any different? Besides, I have always been drawn to the brainy boys, all my life. Its sort of fitting.

So I will take it all with stride, working on the concerns and soaking up all of the praises. But mostly I will be grateful. I am so happy that these teachers take the time and effort to keep note of such things. So that I can be a part of my kids lives, each step, even when I am not actually there. Though there is something sweet in acknowledging that I am always there, as my kids are part of me. And though I may not be there in body I am there in ways that no body will ever really understand, a sacred thought as I think about the layers that entails. And I will treasure these times of great growth and development as life insists, contrary to my pleading, on its rocket speed. 

Thank you to all you teachers who do so much and work so hard for our kids, you are my angels.